When it comes to messages for others and for me, time is one thing I can't get exact answers for.  From my understanding, the other side doesn't function on our human time, so their estimates of time can be misleading.  “Soon” to them can mean five years because in the grand perspective of the Universe, five years is nothing.  I find that those on the other side who are more recently deceased are more sensitive to issues around human time because it is still somewhat real to them.  I can ask recently departed souls to come back in the morning because I’m needing sleep, and generally speaking, they understand.

However, time is one of the most difficult issues I have with my primary spirit guide.  She is an amazingly beautiful soul who has so much wisdom to offer.  I am fairly certain it’s been at least a millennium since she was last incarnate, and it was probably much longer.  So she doesn’t always grasp time issues.  One Sunday night at 10 p.m., my primary guide decided that I needed clary sage essential oil.  I told her I would get it the next day.  She was not satisfied with that answer.  She wanted me to get it NOW and start working with it.  I had to explain to her that I couldn’t just go outside and pick some clary sage.  It doesn’t work that way anymore.   I needed to go to a store to get it, and the soonest I could go to a store was at 8 a.m. the next morning when Whole Foods opened.  I promised her that I would be there when the doors opened, and I was.  Clary sage did end up being very important in a part of my healing.

In a similar experience with my primary spirit guide, I woke up one night at 2 a.m. to her telling me that I needed lapis lazuli.  I told her fine, and that I would get it in the morning.  I woke up again an hour later.  The sensation was similar to having someone in my face and screaming “LAPIS LAZULI” at me.  Clearly she was not going to be happy with tomorrow morning.  So I got up, turned on the lights, dug out my lapis lazuli from my crystal collection, and fell back asleep for the rest of the night with it in my hand.  Once again, it proved to be a powerful healing tool for me albeit over the course of three weeks—really, it could have waited until the morning! 

Another reason that I feel that time estimates from the other side can be unreliable is that our life paths are malleable.  We are in situations similar to Choose Your Own Adventure books.  Our free will allows us to make decisions that can greatly change the way our lives play out. 

In a situation I encountered about nine months ago, I was told that I was going to meet someone important to my life at an event.  Based on the description, I knew it was one of a few social gatherings I had planned to go to in December.  I consulted with an intuitive tarot reader whom a friend had told me had been incredibly accurate with her time estimates; the tarot reader came up with the same scenario with the same person and in the same time period (without me having given her any clues other than me asking what would happen in the next few weeks in my life).  Alas, the first two social events came and went as I had influenza followed by viral pneumonia and I was way too sick to consider attending.  The final two events also came and went as I was hit by a second strain of influenza.  The window passed for me to meet that person.  I’ve asked if that person will come into my life again at a later date, but have not gotten a clear answer.  So my decisions (to not attend the events because I was sick, though it wasn’t much of a choice!) influenced the path my life took and the accuracy of the time predictions that the other side had provided.

Thus, if you ask me for a time estimate about something in a metaphysical message, I will likely not give you an answer unless your spirit guides insist that I should.  Even then, it will be with a warning that time estimates are very sketchy and should be taken with a grain of sea salt.  To greatly misquote a theory of Einstein’s, time really is relative.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

(As always, I am not a medical doctor.  This information is based on my personal experiences and should not be substituted for medical diagnosis or treatment.  Please speak to your health care providers about your personal situation.)

I have struggled with parasite issues due to my Lyme compromised immune system.  Many people with immune issues battle parasites, but most don’t want to talk about it.  Our culture has built up a hyper-sanitized idea of health, and for someone to have parasites becomes a judgmental reflection on the poor lifestyle of the parasite host.  That’s simply not true.  All of us, even in the US, are regularly exposed to parasites through our pets, through the soil, and through our food supply.  Most people, however, have healthy immune systems which are usually able to fight off the parasites.  Those like me whose immune systems are compromised aren’t so fortunate.  Our bodies can’t easily kill foreign invaders.  Thus, the parasites are able to establish themselves causing a great deal of trouble for the host.

Parasite testing can be an effort in futility.  I’ve run multiple parasite screens through many companies in 2004, 2011 and 2012.  Only one of those eight tests came back positive for parasites despite the fact that I had obvious symptoms of parasitic infection and applied kinesiology had pinpointed parasites as the cause of my misery.  In one lecture I heard by a Lyme literate doctor, the doctor said that he estimated only 40% of parasites are caught through testing even using the “better” independent testing companies.  I’d guess that estimate might actually be too high.

So what do parasite symptoms look like in humans?  Digestive woes of any sort are often the first symptoms.  That includes abdominal cramping, vomiting, diarrhea, food sensitivities, flatulence, and burping.  Diagnoses of irritable bowel syndrome may be misdiagnoses of parasites.  Parasites can cause anemia and other deficiencies that will show up on routine blood work.  Furthermore, parasites also can trigger severe anxiety and depression, mental symptoms that are usually not thought to be due to parasites by mainstream practitioners.

When it comes to treating parasites, Western medicine is lacking.  The only thing most doctors know how to do is prescribe metronidazole or its cousins, and metronidazole is the devil’s drug for many people.  It is very difficult to tolerate due to the severe neurological symptoms it can cause.  My general practitioner works frequently with people with compromised immune systems, and he said that 95% of his patients don’t tolerate metronidazole.  I was one of those who didn’t.  It caused me to lose feeling in my arms and to lose basic vocabulary.  It took about a month to regain what I had lost once I stopped taking the metronidazole.  However, most GPs don’t have many other options at their disposal to treat parasites.   

This is one area where natural medicine can be superior to Western medicine.  There are many natural treatments for parasites.  Among the many things I’ve used for parasites while under the care of health practitioners are medicinal turpentine (NOT the stuff from the hardware store), cloves, pumpkin seeds, essential oils, black walnut hulls, artemesia, homeopathy, vibropathy, acupuncture, crystals, and much more.  My practitioners and I use muscle testing to figure out which of the available options is the best means for me to attack each particular species.  However, treating parasites is still an uphill battle because my immune system is compromised by Lyme.

So when my older son was 10, I was doing parasite testing.  I had collected stool samples to be tested by a company in another state and was in the kitchen boxing them up for the overnight carrier to pick them up off my front porch.  My son walked in and saw me labeling the package.  He asked, “What’s in the box?”  I paused for a moment before I replied, “Poop.”  He cheerfully replied, “Ok!” and then went on to whatever activity he had planned to do in the next room.  I stood there for a minute thinking, “Really?  I tell my kid that I’m shipping poop and he doesn’t question me?  Does this mean he thinks I’m totally crazy?  Or is this what living with chronic illness has devolved our lives to that my child thinks shipping poop is a completely normal activity?”  I was able to see how absurdly funny the situation was even then, but it still was bittersweet.  Such is life with Lyme, a compromised immune system, and a constant battle for health.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Size discrimination in American society is very real.  Anyone who has been both skinny and fat as an adult can testify to it.  I’ve ranged in size from a size 8 when healthy to a size 24 when Lyme was at its worst for me.  Right now as I fight severe insulin resistance courtesy of the Lyme Disease, I am again battling weight problems despite eating a diet that makes a rabbit’s menu look luxurious.  Being fat is physically painful for me.  That physical pain is only accentuated by the emotional pain of experiencing blatant fatism in daily life. I’m not alone in that.  A search on Huffington Post alone shows article after article demonstrating the problems of fat discrimination.

I’m not denying that obesity is a major problem in our culture.  However, no matter how much of a problem obesity is, there’s no justification for discriminating against those carrying around extra weight.  It doesn’t affect who they are at their core as a person.  Rude tweets such as the recent viral one suggesting that someone who can’t lose weight also can’t complete a Ph.D. are just plain wrong—and I’m happy to serve as evidence to the contrary on that one!

I’m an avid reader of The New Yorker.  I love the breadth of its articles which I learn quite a lot from.  Lately, though, I’ve noticed an editorial decline in the structure of articles and an increase in the publication basic errors.  Moreover, a recent article on the late singer and civil rights activist Nina Simone flummoxed me completely (Claudia Roth Pierpont, “A Raised Voice,” The New Yorker, August 11&18, 2014: 44-51).  In one of the final paragraphs of the article, the author states:

“She was sixty-five years old, and photographs of the events show her standing between Mandela and Jackson, overweight yet glamorously done up, her hair piled in braids and her strapless white blouse a contrast to the African costumes of the chorus all around.”

I truly cringed.  I stopped and reread the sentence several times.  Surely I had misread.  The author could not possibly have said “overweight yet glamorously done up.” Here, in an article on a civil rights activist published in a liberal intellectual magazine, the author had joined in the blatant fatism that is so rampant in our society, and the editor had sloppily failed to remove it before publication.  Since when does being overweight become a prohibiting factor in dressing up glamorously? It’s true that fashion choices are more limited for plus-sized individuals, but we are still just as fond as skinny women of looking our best on occasion. 

One can easily argue that it was “just” a poor word choice, and that may be true.  But the fact that both author and editor of a major magazine failed to recognize what a poor word choice it was stands as evidence to how common and easy it is to publicly discriminate against the obese in our nation.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

When I was driving to my chiropractor’s office the other morning, I had a local morning talk show playing on the radio.  The announcers were discussing Robin Thicke’s recent admission that he didn’t write the lyrics to “Blurred Lines” as he previously claimed.  One of the male announcers said, “Poor Robin.  He can’t write a song.  He can’t keep a woman.  He needs to join a dating site!”  While it may just have been a very poor segue to a segment on online dating, I still wanted to whack my head onto the steering wheel at that point.  The last thing Thicke needs is to get on a dating site at this point. 

Let’s examine Thicke’s situation as it's known to the public at this point.  He has been separated from his wife for seven months; most of that time he was publicly trying to win her back.  Previous to that, they had been in a 21 year relationship and had known each other for two years before that.  This wasn’t a quick fling that fell apart.  It was a long endeavor, but one that did not end well.  It’s not that he can’t keep a woman:  It’s that his relationship ended poorly and publicly.

Moreover, when someone is only a few months out of a major relationship and has only recently come to terms that the relationship is actually over and that there is no more hope for a reunion, it’s not time for that person to start dating.  While it sometimes happens without folks meaning to, it’s really preferable for most people to take some time for themselves after a relationship ends.  If they’re lucky, they’ll be able to work with a life coach or therapist to process some of the pain from the relationship’s demise.  They’ll also be able to work on the problems that they contributed to the relationship.  None of us are perfect, and we all can stand to do continuing work to improve ourselves.  In between relationships is a great time to do this self-reflection so that one doesn’t get into a new relationship that only repeats the problems of previous relationships.

In addition, it’s clear that Thicke has a drug and alcohol abuse problem.  He’s quoted as saying, "With all due respect, I was high and drunk every time I did an interview last year."  That’s not a good thing.  Again, some outside help from a therapist, counselor, or addiction program would serve likely Thicke well.  This is not something a dating website will solve.  A person dealing with issues this severe really doesn’t need to be trying to find a romantic partner.  That person needs to be working on his/her own to heal.  Dating websites exist to fix people up, not to fix their problems.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

The short answer to this question:  I don’t know for certain.

The longer answer to this question:  I think that our current human understanding of how energy works on a metaphysical level is very primitive.  I don’t think we are anywhere close to knowing the truth.  There’s an episode of Friends wherein Ross is tortured by Phoebe’s refusal to believe in evolution.  After antagonizing Ross for most of the episode, Phoebe explains her position.  It’s not that she’s a creationist.  It’s that she thinks that evolution isn’t the full story.  She thinks there’s more to it, and that evolution is only the tip of the iceberg.  I think that sums up our understanding of energy at this point, too.  We still have a “flat Earth” type of knowledge about how energy actually works.

Before I opened myself to the metaphysical as an intuitive, I’d actually never been to a psychic, tarot reader or intuitive for a reading.  I had no idea what was possible.  When I first started getting information on others who weren’t near me, I was shocked.  I went to my mentor and asked her why and how this all works.  Her answer:  “Energy is energy.  It is just how it works.”  That sums it up well though it’s not a helpful explanation at understanding the bigger picture of it all. 

The bottom line is that metaphysical energy is not bound by conventions that we are limited by as humans.  Those on the other side can see what’s going on in California and New Jersey at the same time.  They don’t have to physically be in a place to help with metaphysical work.  Thus, when they are assisting me in receiving messages, they can give me information on people who aren’t near me.  All I need is a name, permission to assist, and intention to receive the message.  Then they can get me the information my client needs.

When I was doing training to use my metaphysical gifts, my mentor intentionally set up a “blind” session for me.  Normally I would not do this kind of arrangement because of confidentiality ethics, but I trust my mentor and that she had permission from her friend to do this session.  My mentor “Sarah” told me that her friend “Mary” was having problems sleeping and that doctors couldn’t figure out what was going on.  Sarah was able to pinpoint a problem using her metaphysical gifts, but she hadn’t been able to get a solution.  That was all the information that I was given about the situation.  I didn’t have a last name for Mary or any other history on her.  When I attempted to receive a message for Mary, I got a flood of information.  The amount of information I received let me know that Mary was someone who was open to the metaphysical and able to work on her issues deeply (which turned out to be true:  Mary is another metaphysician).  I came up with a problem than almost no Western doctor would have seen as a cause of sleep deprivation, but it was the same problem that Sarah had gotten as well.  I was also able to get several options to try for relief, and Mary did get some help from one of them.

Since then, I have done long distance messages for people all over the country.  I primarily work without my clients in the same room since I find it easier to make connections to higher powers when I am alone.  I am able to use all of my energy to reach out to the other side rather than having to use part of that energy to work with the client in the same room as me.  I still don’t completely understand the reasons why or how this all works, but I know that it is amazingly true.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

I tend to prefer movies that allow me to relax and escape yet which also leave me thinking.  I watched Neverwas (2005, PG-13) the other evening and was quite drawn to its plot and themes not to mention its stellar actors.  This film met my need to escape (albeit to a mental institution in the beautiful Hudson Valley), but it also broached a question which is one I've debated with myself many times over the past few years:  Which of us is delusional, and which of us is inspired?  I'm sure many might look at my intuitive messages and immediately deem me delusional.  So be it.  But how do I know that I'm not mentally ill?  How do I know that my metaphysical friends aren't all delusional, too?

I attended a social meeting for those with intuitive gifts a while back.  There were about 25 people in the room.  Two were clearly mentally ill.  One was suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and loneliness.  He actually didn't have any metaphysical gifts that he knew of.  He just came to check out the crowd and get some attention.  The other man in question was genuinely delusional.  His visions clearly crossed the line between sanity and insanity.  They had elements of obsessive compulsive disorder to them, and I wouldn't be surprised if he had a diagnosis of schizophrenia as well.

So how could I tell that this second guy wasn’t on the same page as the rest of us?  Part of it was instinct.  Part of it was listening to what he said and how he said it.  He engaged in activities that no one else in any metaphysical practice that I’m aware of also participates in.  His visions were delusions that were damaging his relationships with others and impeding on his ability to live his life.  They created activities for him that were outside the realm of acceptable human behavior, even for a metaphysician. 

To me, the bigger question comes down to whether anyone is being hurt or anyone is being helped by the visions.  If the visions are helpful, creating healing and peace, they probably are genuine.  If they are delusions rather than divinely inspired visions, someone is likely getting deeply hurt, whether that’s the person having the delusions or those around him.  Even within that distinction, sometimes delusions can be helpful things.  In Neverwas, a lead character’s imaginative delusions actually helped him to live a happy but solitary life that involved quite a bit of fantasy.  Those around him who were getting "hurt" were those who chose not to let him be happy in his own way.

All of us have different views and perceptions.  To me, it’s important to remember “reality” is very different for all of us.  Quite often, there is no one ultimate Truth. Since opening to my intuition and my metaphysical gifts, I have been happier than I have ever been previously in my life.  My spiritual visions help me and countless others, and to me, that is what matters. 

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Many years ago on Halloween, a group of local public high schoolers came to our front door with a shopping cart.  Instead of demanding candy, they were respectfully requesting canned good donations for a local charity as a part of a service group at the school.  It made a huge positive impression on me.  I thought it was a magnificent way for them to get out and enjoy Halloween as older kids but to turn it into a way that benefited the community at large.  It was also on a night when people were at home expecting people to come asking for food donations anyway!

Fast forward 11 years to 2013, and my twins were at a small private school for kids who lived all across the city.  I proposed to the school that we have a similar canned good drive, and the project was approved.  This school required volunteer hours for students as part of their desire to educate the whole person.  Students were allowed to earn volunteer hours by collecting canned goods which in turn parents helped drive to a local food bank.  We donated the cans we collected to the Capital Area Food Bank; another local organization that would happily accept such donations is Safeplace.

Organizing and preparing for this project really did not take a great deal of effort.  I did most of the preparation from home, and I’ve attached the documents from my work below so that others might use them as templates for similar drives.  I let teachers, students, and families know through the various electronic media for the school that this drive was happening.  I found students to help box up the collected items.  I organized families to drive the canned goods to the food bank and to donate baked goods for the winning advisory (also called a homeroom at other schools).  The afterschool club at the school made posters to hang around the school to increase awareness about the project, too.

The family preparation for my kids to participate was rather easy.  We have a wheeled utility cart that I use for farmers’ markets, so we had a way to carry the canned goods between houses.  We had spare boxes in the garage to put the collected items into.  We were ready to go.

While my kids were hesitant at first, they quickly realized how willing neighbors were to help.  It was very rare that someone did not give us a donation of at least one canned good, and quite often, they gave us more.  The neighbors also always offered the kids candy even though that wasn’t the goal.  Over the course of the evening, we made a couple of stops back at the house to unload the collection so that the cart didn’t get too heavy.

One thing that I had not anticipated was people wanting to donate cash or checks instead of canned goods.  If I run a project like this again, I would allow students to collect checks made out to the organization we were contributing to, and I would figure out a conversion amount (such as $1=1 canned good) for tabulations for the advisory competition we had going on.

When one is homebound and disabled, it can be hard to give to others.  Projects like organizing this canned food drive are something that can be done from home if you have a couple of great assistants helping you. Both my ex-husband and the woman we carpooled with were incredibly helpful in doing legwork for the project that was beyond my physical abilities.   The net result was great.  The kids collected hundreds of meals worth of canned goods and made Halloween a little more meaningful for everyone involved.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Green Heart Guidance is now on Goodreads for those who would like to follow my reading related to my business interests. 

Green Heart Guidance is now active on Twitter for those who prefer to follow there.

For many people, water is a source of inspiration.  When they feel a need for a pick-me-up, they head to the lake, the ocean, or whatever nearby body of water they can find.  For metaphysical workers, water is not only a refreshing part of nature, but it serves an energy conduit or channel.

In my own experience, I have found water to be extremely conductive.  When I am around it, I am more likely to receive metaphysical messages.  It doesn’t even have to be a big body of water:  My spirit guides like to visit me when I’m in the shower or just in the bathroom. 

There are quite a few Austin energetic hotspots for me that are centered around water.  When I am driving over Lady Bird Lake along Mopac, I often receive messages.  Driving along 360 and crossing over Bull Creek multiple times, I will frequently get guidance.  Barton Springs is an amazing area when it comes to healing energy, partially because of the water that is there.  I’ve also heard from friends that Wild Basin is quite powerful especially along its creek.

If you’re trying to get in touch with your spirit guides for the first time, you might want to try doing so around a body of water that you love.  The extra power of the water might make that first connection a little easier to make.  Even if it doesn’t succeed, you’ll still get to experience the healing power of water while being out in Mother Nature.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

(As always, I am not a medical doctor.  This information is based on my personal experiences and should not be substituted for medical diagnosis or treatment.  Please speak to your health care providers about your personal situation.)

Muscle testing, also known as applied kinesiology (AK), is a method of testing questions against one’s nervous system via one's body to get answers.  Explaining it on paper is far more difficult than demonstrating it in person, so bear with this blog post.

First of all, take everything you are certain you know about human anatomy, the human brain and how they work which you learned from Western medicine and American society.  Throw it out.  Now start over with a blank slate in your head.  That’s really the best way to understand muscle testing.  If you try to force it to fit within the framework of the understanding you probably already have, muscle testing just doesn’t make sense.

Applied kinesiology is a binary system.  What the tester and testee are trying to achieve is a yes or no response from the body’s nervous system.  This is an energy based practice.  There is no invasive testing, no brainwashing, and nothing inherently dangerous about it.  It’s just not logical by our mainstream society’s standards, and it initially may seem like hooey.

The first time I was exposed to applied kinesiology was after my youngest was born in 2003.  I had thrown my lower back out pretty badly in delivering a 10+ pound baby which isn’t too surprising.  My acupuncturist, whom I trust deeply, sent me to her chiropractor which was my first experience with chiropractic as well.  The man I saw was a sweet, kooky, incredibly gifted older chiropractor who has since passed away.  He was reviewing my information sheet which had a picture of the human body that asked for the patient to indicate all areas of previous injury.  He then performed a physical exam on my body using applied kinesiology.  As he got to my left hand, he stopped and referenced my information sheet again.  He said pointedly, “You didn’t tell me that you had broken this finger.”   I looked at him and said, “They told me it was probably just sprained but there was a slim chance of a hairline fracture.”  He replied, “You broke it,” and then he went back to doing the rest of his exam.  I was left flabbergasted and asking myself “How in the hell did he know that?”  I hadn’t intentionally withheld that information, but it helped prove to me that muscle testing can be extremely accurate.  The chiropractor had been able to find a 15 year old injury without any hints that it might be there.

So how does applied kinesiology look in practice?  There are many different ways of muscle testing.  With most of my practitioners, I am either lying on an exam table or standing, and they use my arm in a manner similar to a slot machine’s arm.  I stiffen my arm, and they pull on it as they check muscles or substances against my nervous system’s response to them.  If my arm stays strong, that is usually a sign that things are good.  If my arm collapses, then that indicates a problem.  The first few minutes of this video can help you get an idea of how it works.  I promise the patient is not intentionally influencing results.  When you try to hold your arm stiff in a case where your nervous system is not happy about something, you simply can’t do it.  It seems implausible until you’ve experienced it.  Believe me, if I could have kept my arm strong when my practitioners have tested chocolate on me, I would have!

Muscle testing can be done on one’s self once one learns how.  It also can be done by proxy with infants and small children who can’t hold their arm rigid.  In that case, the infant or child lies on the parent’s chest or sits in their lap.   Regardless of how muscle testing is done, it requires a confident practitioner.  One of my physicians strongly believes in muscle testing, but he can’t trust himself enough to do it.  I’ve seen other practitioners who second guess themselves a lot as they learn how to use it.  Those practitioners who are comfortable with applied kinesiology can use it almost without thinking as they carry on a separate conversation at the same time!

In some of its more useful applications, a practitioner tests a question or a substance against the patient or client’s body.  This is incredibly helpful in figuring out reactions to foods without doing invasive and expensive testing.  It also helps eliminate the need to take useless supplements or to figure out what doses of various supplements one’s body needs.  Muscle testing can also help pinpoint the best antibiotics when fighting infections.  Furthermore, applied kinesiology can be used for asking questions.  I’ve had practitioners figure out that there was an emotional component to whatever pain I am experiencing, and then by asking questions, even silently in their heads, they’ve been able pinpoint the trauma that was triggering the pain.  This can be incredibly useful in the healing process.

Applied kinesiology is a really helpful tool, though it’s not perfect.  It can have false negatives and positives.  This is partially due to the human element since there are two people involved in the testing.  In another rarer situation, those who are metaphysically gifted may be able to subconsciously or consciously alter the results of muscle testing.  This is a maligned defensive technique that I somehow learned along the way, and it’s one I don’t intentionally do anymore because it interferes with others helping me heal.  Applied kinesiology also can give false results with substances that the nervous system has never experienced before.  We always muscle test new supplements I’ve never taken before I try them, but occasionally I will still react to one.  When I do, it almost always tests poorly in subsequent muscle testing trials.   My nervous system just couldn’t register the substance until I had been exposed to it directly.

Applied kinesiology has been one of the most useful tools in my healing.  I would never consider seeing a chiropractor who didn’t use it, and I prefer my physicians and naturopaths use it, too.  I am able to do basic muscle testing for clients, and it’s a skill I plan to keep developing over the years.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

There are plenty of websites out there that will list horror stories about pesticides used on conventional foods as they try to pressure you into eating organic.  You can Google and find them.  I’m not fond of scare tactics even if they are based in truth.  Instead, I am presenting my personal experience with switching to eating organic.

When I first got sick in 2003, we had no idea what was going on with me.  My general practitioner was of no use.  I did some hunting on the internet, and I ended up working with a nutritionist who is in another state (whom I would not recommend).  The first thing she had me do, even before we started working on specific meal planning, was switch to eating organic.  I changed nothing in my diet except to buy organic foods instead of the conventional ones I had been eating. 

My ex-husband and I were both brought up in families where saving was highly valued.  You bought things on sale, you bought generics, and you certainly didn’t spend money on organics when equally good conventional food was available at a much cheaper price.  So our initial plan was that we would buy organic for me but the rest of the family would continue eating conventional.

As a result of that switch to organic eating, I had an almost immediate increase in energy—it easily doubled.  I felt more clear-headed.  I felt better overall.  It was a night and day difference.  It was clear to us that the pesticides on the food were poisoning me.  It was such a shocking difference that my ex-husband and I immediately decided that the entire family would be eating organic from then on.

Since then, eating organic has always been a priority for us.  When money was tight, we never considered cutting organics from our budget.  When we budget, our food spending is high but it comes first.  Other areas such as entertainment, cars, clothing, and cell phones are where we cut corners. Even when we were divorcing and were trying to figure out how to run two households on a budget that previously supported one, conventional eating was never considered as an option.  It’s that important to us.

Over the years, I’ve discovered that organic food just tastes better.  Foods I previously did not like such as raw green peppers I now love.  I figured out that what I hated so much was the bitter taste of pesticide residue on conventional foods, not the foods themselves.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

(As always, I am not a medical doctor.  This information is based on my personal experiences and should not be substituted for medical diagnosis or treatment.  Please speak to your health care providers about your personal situation.)

Though it probably shouldn’t be, one of the hardest things for me to comprehend is judgment in the natural health community. I’ve experienced many practitioners and individuals who assume that if natural methods of healing fail, then the user is to blame.  They believe that you obviously didn’t try hard enough or those wonderful ways of healing would have worked.  Quite frankly, that’s a load of crap.

Natural healing has limits.  Western medicine does too.  If everyone hadn’t noticed, death still happens regardless of which methods of healing one uses.  No method is failproof.  Such is the reality of being human in a body with an unknown expiration date on it.

I personally use both natural and Western methods of healing.  I start with the natural and complementary routes, but when they fail, I then turn to Western medicine.  Because I work with integrative practitioners, when I go to them for a prescription, I’m always able to tell them, “I’ve already tried these herbs, oils, homeopathics, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, etc., in resolving this situation to no avail.”  They respect that if I am coming to them, then I likely have reached the end of the options in natural healing.

One of the few areas which I feel that natural healing is severely lacking is in pain relief.  When dealing with chronic and severe pain, white willow bark and other herbs just don’t cut it.  I’m a woman who has easily handled natural childbirth including breech births and a 10+ pound baby born at home, but I am not capable of handling the pain from migraines, Lyme, shingles, or dental work.  I am not Superwoman.  I require drugs.  Acupuncture, massage, chiropractic, meditation, herbs, and other methods can help lessen the pain so that I don’t require as many drugs, but they are not enough.

So when do I use natural methods and when do I not?  That depends on the situation.  If I am ever in a car accident and I have a severed limb, please start the morphine drip first, notify the surgeon, and then call my complementary practitioners to help me with the healing process after my limb has been reattached.  For ear infections or sinus infections, however, I start with natural healing methods.  In the past 11+ years, I’ve never had to use antibiotics for a sinus or ear infections.  Neither have any of my kids.  We’ve been able to treat them all herbally (especially the viral ones that wouldn’t have responded to antibiotics anyway).

One downside to using natural methods is that they take longer to kick in.  Antibiotics often help within a few days (and sometimes sooner).  Herbs are slower acting, but they don’t destroy the beneficial bugs in one’s gut the way antibiotics do.   With my hypersensitive body, it takes months to years to clean up the damage that antibiotics can cause to my system, but herbs don’t do that kind of damage.

So when do I switch from herbs and other natural methods to Western drugs?  That’s also dependent on the situation.  I recently had bacterial bronchitis which is going around Austin.  I have no idea where or how I picked it up.  I was very sick as were most others I’ve heard about who’ve battled this bug.  It took me 12 days to conquer it, and I spent 10 of those days in bed.  It seems like two weeks was not an uncommon length to be sick with the bronchitis even among those I know who used antibiotics for it.  It was a rough bug.  I was taking three different herbal formulas plus the maximum daily dose of Vitamin E to help fight it since that was what my body indicated it needed.  On day seven, I began seriously questioning whether it was time to turn to antibiotics though I knew that they would cause a bevy of long term problems if I did.  I turned to another intuitive healer I know and asked her to check in with higher guidance; she got told that it was going to take about two weeks to fight it with bronchitis with herbs, but that we should recheck then about antibiotics at the end of the two weeks if I hadn’t healed.  The next day, I started doing better.  Day seven had just been rock bottom. 

(If you wonder why I turned to another intuitive for help, I was too emotionally involved in this situation to be an impartial message recipient.  I needed someone who wasn’t so involved in the situation to help me.  Just as doctors see other doctors when they are sick, I occasionally have to turn to other intuitives when I can’t get a clear reading on myself.)

In contrast, two years ago I had a dental abscess explode into misery over Labor Day weekend (because when else would something major happen but when your dentist is on a four day vacation?).  I started on intensive herbs over the weekend before I could get in to see my dentist on Tuesday to help the situation as best I could, but it was clear to everyone involved in my health care that it was antibiotic time due to how extensively the infection had spread.  Because my immune system wasn’t functioning as well then, it took three weeks of high dose antibiotics to clear the dental infection even after extraction of the tooth.  Unfortunately, though, I then picked up a serious gut infection from the damage the antibiotics did to my intestines.  It took a full six months and another hefty round of two different antibiotics (after herbs failed to make even a dent in the intestinal infection) for me to recover from all the damage the original antibiotics did.  I didn’t have much choice in using the antibiotics for the abscess, but there were major consequences as a result.

Whatever methods you decide to use in your healing process, please know that I will not judge you for them.  I will help you in finding alternatives if you feel what you are doing is not helping or if it is even hurting you.  I will consult with higher guidance to see if they have suggestions as to which methods you might want to begin with.  But whatever you chose to do, that is your decision to make.  I’m not here to judge you for your choices.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

When Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin announced that they were divorcing by way of conscious uncoupling, the media had a field day.  On Facebook, I saw many friends and acquaintances joining in the ridicule.  Perhaps it was the somewhat hokey name that drew people in to the mockery, but I suspect most people didn’t bother to find out what it means.  The following quote from Paltrow’s blog announcement gives a great summary of conscious uncoupling:

“From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people, each playing teacher and student respectively. When we understand that both are actually partners in each other’s spiritual progress, animosity dissolves much quicker and a new paradigm for conscious uncoupling emerges, replacing the traditional, contentious divorce. It’s only under these circumstances that loving co-parenting can happen. It’s conscious uncoupling that prevents families from being broken by divorce and creates expanded families that continue to function in a healthy way outside of traditional marriage.”

In theory, this should be the goal for almost all divorces:  Less hate, less anger, less bitterness, less blame.  Both people would be aware that they contributed to the relationship ending as it had served its purpose in their lives and it is now time to move on peacefully.

I am recently and amicably divorced after a three plus year separation.  My ex and I didn’t use the term conscious uncoupling; however, many of our friends have nicknamed our situation a “grown up divorce”-- a divorce where both parties choose to act like mature adults.  Between friends and family, we have seen some ugly divorces where the goal became seeing how much one spouse could screw over the other spouse.  My ex and I didn’t want that for ourselves, for our kids, or even for each other.  There’s an internet quote that is attributed to anyone and everyone that says, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”  I strongly believed that anything negative I tried to do to my spouse would just come back to hurt me, and that wasn’t what I wanted.

We didn’t use lawyers for our divorce.  Lawyers serve a purpose, but this was not a time they were needed.  We have children, property, and assets, but despite the dire warnings of the internet law sites, we were able to work out all the arrangements between us.  Despite the fact I acted as our lawyer, the various fees and costs associated the divorce have totaled more than our relatively modest wedding twenty years ago.  Divorce ain’t cheap.

Things were not a bed of roses between my ex-husband and me during the negotiation process.  If our relationship had been perfect, we wouldn’t have been getting a divorce!  We had used a wonderful couple’s therapist for 2.5 years as we worked to save and then dissolve the marriage.  We agreed to use him as our witness and mediator as we worked through our divorce negotiations.  That was a really great decision because it helped us to work through various emotional issues that came up as we dealt with custody and financial issues.  It also was very helpful to just have a neutral third party whom we both trusted in the room to keep us calm and on task.

Our separation and divorce were intentionally slow, though under ideal circumstances it would probably have only been two years from separation to divorce instead of three.  When my ex-husband initially moved out of our joint home, he moved into a rental house that is only nine doors down the street.  This allowed the kids to have the security of being able to walk back and forth between the two houses any time they wanted to see the other parents.   After two years, he purchased a house that is three miles from my house and in the school zone we both preferred for our kids.  Since our kids are secure in their attachments to both of us and because we’ve been careful not to put the kids between us, they haven’t had any noticeable issues with the divorce.  It’s been a smooth transition.  My ex and I continue to make excellent co-parents because our parenting styles are so similar.

My ex and I still loved each other when we made the decision to divorce, but we also loved each other enough to know we are not the right partners for each other anymore.  We both want the other to be happy with someone else.  My ex-husband now feels like a brother to me, and the love I have for him is best described as fraternal.  We’ve known each other for 27 of my 40 years.  We still celebrate holidays together with the kids, and when we each partner again, we’re planning of having his-hers-and-theirs holidays.  I view his future wife as my future sister-in-law, and I look forward to the additional love she’ll bring to the family.

While many of our friends praised this “grown up divorce,” others we know just don’t seem to know what to do.  They don’t know how to handle a divorce that’s not bitter and ugly.  It seems strange to them to have a divorce where the spouses still talk to each other and share friends.  It’s not the traditional model of divorce they’ve grown accustomed to.  For many, it would just be easier to cut the ex-spouse out of the picture and pretend nothing ever happened rather than confronting the personal emotions that come up around divorce.

I suspect that just as some have been befuddled by the conditions my divorce, most Americans just didn’t know what to do with a “conscious uncoupling” and in their discomfort, they turned to ridicule.  I am sure part of that antagonism was partially just skewering Paltrow and Martin for being famous and in the spotlight.  But for others, I would guess that there is some jealousy of what they didn’t experience in their divorces or their parents’ divorces.  Instead of ridiculing celebrities for modeling a positive approach to divorce, it would be great if our society could celebrate a former couple for doing what’s best for them and their children.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance