The term “ghost” has all kinds of cultural connotations associated with it.  Many people will think of a translucent white figure that you can see as it makes bumps in the night.  Others might think of Casper or Slimer.  That’s not necessarily the way it plays out in the world of metaphysics, but I’m sure this isn’t the first time Hollywood has taken creative liberties!  Most of the time, I can’t actually see a spirit or energy that is around me.  I can sense their energy sometimes, but more often, I just see the results of their presence. 

One of my friends describes doing metaphysical work as “being shiny.”  That means energy workers attract the magpies of the spirit world as they can tell we can sense them.  While I make sure to shield my house and myself, I still attract energies and souls on occasion.  I’ve had a couple in my house that become electrical menaces.  One was turning on and off my sauna.  Then the spirit switched to turning on and off a light in my bedroom.  In that case, I simply told it, “Cut the crap.  I know you’re here.  I’m not interested in playing games.  This is my home, and you’re not welcome here.  Go in peace.”  And it did.  I guess I wasn’t too much fun to mess with!  

There was another one that was a “kitchen ghost.”  My three kids and I all watched a dish go flying off the kitchen counter.  I told myself that maybe it was just not sitting stably, and I blew the incident off.  Later the same week, an apple started rolling around the table while one of my kids and I were making apple pie.  At that point, I shifted gears and non-verbally went Mama Bear on the energy.  I let it know that it was NOT allowed to mess with my children.  I unexpectedly got back a meek reply of “sorry.”  This was just another bored energy who needed to find something better to do with himself—preferably somewhere that wasn’t my house.

Getting rid of the spirits is really pretty simple in most cases.  You just have to tell them to go.  You need to be firm, strong, and commanding.  You need to take ownership of your space and let them know that you are not open to sharing it.  Then send them on their way, asking them to go in peace.

On the rare occasions that they don’t leave easily, you don’t have to call the Ghostbusters to come in with their photon packs to blast the heck out of everything.  However, seeking outside help can bring peace to your family.  I offer remote home viewing services that can help in this regard; in other cases, you will need to hire a shaman or other energy worker who can get the spirits to leave from your living space. 

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

One of the quickest turnoffs on a dating website is encountering a highly negative profile.  A guy who starts off his profile by saying, “I don’t date women who have blond hair.  I don't like women who are tall.  Fat women aren’t healthy, and I don’t like them.  Don’t live with your mother either if you message me,” is presenting a very negative vibration to prospective women.  Men aren’t alone in this negativity; many women do it, too.  While most of us do have preferences in what we are looking for in a potential partner, this negative presentation of ideals is likely to drive most candidates away.

There are many who believe that what we think is what we manifest.  If that is true, then it’s best to keep our thoughts as positive as possible.  Even if it’s not true, the expression of positive thoughts can shift our personal views of life by placing an emphasis on what is right rather than what is wrong.  It’s seeing the glass as half full rather than half empty.

An easy example is stating, “I don’t like broccoli.”  Instead, one could state, “I really prefer spinach to broccoli.”  It gives even more information and keeps the sentiment in a positive light.  Rather than saying, “I hate bicycling,” you could suggest, “How about we consider canoeing instead?”

Another school of thought argues that the Universe doesn’t hear the word “no” or “not.” So if you put on your dating profile, “I don’t want to be with anyone who has kids,” you’ll actually end up attracting a lot of people who have children.  Instead, try phrasing your request in a more positive light and without negatives:  “I’d prefer to date people who are childless.”  Instead of saying, “I don’t like conservatives,” you can state, “I find people with a liberal mindset incredibly attractive.”

While these seem like little things, all the little things add up when trying to make one’s life experience more positive.  This is something that is free to do, and it takes very little effort to do once you get in the swing of things. 

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

This past Monday, the radio hosts on one of the local morning shows were discussing various individuals with metaphysical abilities, particularly palm readers, tarot card readers, and psychics.  I don’t read palms or tarot cards, though I know others who do.  I am, however, what many would call a psychic though I usually use the term "intuitive."  The discussion they were having on the morning show was rather interesting; I wish I’d been in the room there to address some of the concerns that were being brought up.  So instead, I’m discussing them on my blog.

One of the very valid concerns that was voiced was about people becoming dependent on psychics to make all their decisions for them.  That is what one would refer to as con artists.  There are con artists in almost any field, so this is not something unique to the metaphysical community.  Unfortunately, they do exist, and con artists bring down the reputation of everyone in their fields.  In contrast, great psychics don’t want their clients to be dependent upon them.  Instead, they are working to help their clients develop their own metaphysical skills and abilities.  In addition, great psychics don’t ever tell their clients what to do.  Instead, they present options that let clients use free will to determine the best course of action in their own lives.  If a metaphysical practitioner ever starts demanding you do certain things or that you have to return to see them at certain times, then you should seriously consider walking out the door.  Those aren’t healthy behaviors.  Likewise, if a psychic medium promises you that they can definitely connect with a specific someone who has died, you should also consider discontinuing using their services.  Mediums really can connect with those who are dead, but they can't control who actually shows up for your session.  Claiming to be able to do so can be a sign of a con artist.

One of the radio hosts brought up the issue that he doesn’t want to know the future, and so he didn’t see the point in going to a psychic.  I actually completely understand that one.  I really don’t want to know most of what’s in my future.  When I am doing metaphysical work on myself, I usually am seeking information on my past so that I can work to heal it and on my present so that I can make wise decisions.  On occasion my future does come up, though I would rather not know the details about the future unless they are about something malleable that my actions can change or improve.  There are also times when knowing the future can be a horrible and painful burden:  I had premonitions that my daughter would die unexpectedly.  That was an awful thing, but at the same time, it prepared me mentally for her death and allowed me to function when others around me collapsed.  Not wanting to know parts of the future is really understandable.

So why see a psychic if you don’t want to know the future?  With the work I do, I help people who are “stuck” in their lives.  They might have health issues that they can’t get past.  Their doctors are out of options, and the clients can’t figure out what might help them.  The insight I get from higher guidance can set them on a path of healing.  Likewise, I’ve assisted people who can’t find employment due to blocks they were creating but couldn’t see for themselves.  I’ve also helped people clean out negative energy in their homes that was making their lives less than pleasant.  The bottom line is that people utilize my services in order to improve their lives.  The work I do is not just a fun party trick, but it can really make a difference in people's happiness and health.

The radio hosts questioned whether or not a psychic was obligated to tell clients things about the future if they came up.  This is a matter of personal ethics that varies between psychics and their belief systems.  In my work, I do generally tell clients what I see, but I always frame it clearly so that the client understands the role of free will in our lives.  Our futures are not written in stone.  For example, I might foresee a client dying in a car crash because he was driving while intoxicated.  This is something that is completely within the power of the client to change.  Thus, I would relay to him that it could be possible for him to die in a drunk driving accident, but that this tragic death could be prevented if he chose to quit drinking while intoxicated.  At that point, the client has the information, and he can make his own decisions as to whether he wants to continue driving drunk or not.

The radio discussion ventured onto a question of how much some psychics, palm readers and tarot readers must be making based on the high rent locations of some of their businesses.  First of all, in Austin, there is a weird disparity that involves certain locations in town. If one bought the property 20 or 30 years ago, then one probably has it paid off or is still paying on a very small mortgage.  Thus, some people are able to live or work in areas of town which they could never afford to buy in nowadays.  If one is renting, that’s a different story unless one is locked into a long term low rent deal.  Otherwise, metaphysical businesses are still businesses.  Those who have offices in prime locations can charge more for their services because of conveniences.  They also are more likely to gain clients from drive by publicity.  Aside from that, there are some well-known or popular psychics in Austin who do amazingly well for themselves.  Not everyone does as well as they do, though.

Overall, one of the radio hosts kept stating that he wanted to believe but he just couldn’t.  That’s called healthy skepticism, and any good psychic will encourage it.  Prior to coming into my own abilities, I definitely wanted to believe, but my rational brain just couldn’t accept it all.  Even since developing my own metaphysical gifts, I still am a healthy skeptic of anyone I meet who claims to be psychic until I’ve witnessed their abilities in action.  Just as in any profession, there are a wide variety of abilities among practitioners.  Until one has experienced a great metaphysical session firsthand, it can be hard to believe, and that’s completely legitimate.  However, declaring all metaphysical experiences bogus before one tries a session (or several with different practitioners) is simple prejudice.  That's like going to one doctor who can't figure out why your stomach hurts and then declaring all of Western medicine to be bogus.

At some point after the discussion, a call was played from a listener who clearly has metaphysical abilities herself.  She correctly stated that all of us are psychic and that this is most often demonstrated through our intuition when we get a gut feeling about doing something or not doing something.  How much we each choose to use or develop our individual abilities varies, and the level of our metaphysical giftedness varies as well.  Some people can hold a basketball, some people can dribble a basketball, and some people can make a three point shot from half court.  The same is true of metaphysical gifts.  We all have different abilities.

The best way to find a psychic, intuitive or other metaphysician is through word of mouth.  Talk to friends about their experiences.  Picking up the phone book and dialing a number or walking up to an office you see on the street often isn’t the best approach as it could lead you to a con artist.  Alternatively, you can check out practitioners’ websites, read their reviews, and ask them questions before booking a session if you have any.  Most of all, listen to your own intuition.  If you don’t feel good about a certain psychic, then no matter what your friends are saying, then don’t use their services.  Just as with doctors, lawyers, and other practitioners, there is no perfect match for everyone.  Find someone who is able to work with you as you need them to.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

I say to people who care for people who are dying, if you really love that person and want to help them, be with them when their end comes close. Sit with them - you don't even have to talk. You don't have to do anything but really be there with them.  ~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ advice is sound and applies to far more people than the dying.  It definitely works well for those with chronic illness.  One of the things that can be the biggest help for someone who is fighting any kind of battle or facing any kind of major change is to just be there for them so that they don’t feel so alone on their journey.

Brené Brown expands on this idea in her video (above) on empathy versus sympathy.  Empathy is a beautiful gift you can give to someone.  Empathy is support without judgment or blame.  For me, one of the most comforting things in the world is the empathetic response of an individual who truly understands or cares.  It can make my whole day seem a little less challenging.

When someone is around you is sick, let them know you hate that they are feeling bad.  Offer to bring them chicken soup or to run errands for them.  If you’re feeling really brave and honest, then offer to just spend your time with them.  Oftentimes your presence and support is the greatest gift of all.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

(This is an edited cross-post from the archives of my much neglected food blog.)

With my health challenges, it can be really hard to make dinner some days, if not impossible.  Life with a chronic illness is akin to life with small kids, except on steroids.  I won’t even try to describe what life with a chronic illness was like combined with three small children who are less than three years apart in age.  Because of all of these challenges, I’ve developed many strategies to help keep healthy homemade food on our table.

One of the most important things we own is a full size freezer.  It lives in our garage, and it is an amazing help to us.  When its predecessor died a few years ago, there was no question about replacing it.  It was just a matter of seeing which store in town could get us a replacement as quickly as possible.   We keep a good supply of meat, potato products, tortillas, breads, fruits, and vegetables in there so that if getting to the store becomes a problem, we have more than enough frozen goods to keep us going for a while.  We also use it to stock up on sale items to save a little money when possible.

Equally important, we use the garage freezer to store meals that I have prepared and frozen.  When I cook meals like casseroles, soups or stews, I often make a double batch so I can freeze it.  I will freeze things both in family sized containers for full meals and in individual portions so that I have easy lunches for myself.  At times when I’m having a run of good health, our garage freezer gets rather full, but inevitably a bad spell will happen, and we will deplete the frozen food supply temporarily until I start cooking again.

In addition, the crockpot is my friend.  My energy level is at its highest early in the mornings; as the day goes by, I get more exhausted and my body becomes more painful.  Hence, if I can get a dinner started in the morning hours on days when I know I’m going to be fairly useless by dinner time, we still have a healthy meal.  During the summer, the crockpot is also a great way to make a hearty meal without standing over a hot stove or turning on the oven in the Texas heat.

There are still some nights when I just can’t make what I had planned earlier in the day.  I almost always have a Plan B going in the back of my mind so that if my health gives out during the day and I have to hand over meal preparation to someone else, there’s something simple and easy they can make rather than the more elaborate concoction I might have originally had in mind. 

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

There's a difference between solitude and loneliness. ~Maggie Smith

The documentary Maidentrip details the travels of a young woman, Laura Dekker, as she sets out to break the world record for the youngest person sailing around the world alone.  She was ages 13-16 during the time of the film and ages 14-16 during the actual journey.  In what I consider a wise move, Dekker chose to not try to do the trip as fast as possible as she wanted to stop and enjoy some of the locations she harbored in.  The documentary is not incredibly long, and the only critique I had was that the footage can be a bit queasy at times for those of us who don’t do well with sea sickness/motion.  The film is family friendly overall as long as you don’t mind Dekker swearing in English like a sailor on quite a few occasions.  There are subtitles in quite a few places, too.

As I watched the film, I was amazed at my revulsion to the idea of such a trip.  I didn't have an issue with Dekker making the trip though I’m not sure I would let my similarly aged children do the same thing.  However, I knew immediately I would never enjoy such a voyage.  Some of that is due to my above-mentioned seasickness, but something else struck a deeper chord that I had to explore to see why I had such a strong aversion to the concept.

It turns out this documentary tapped into the loneliness I felt during so many years of being homebound and isolated due to my chronic illness.  There was no one around the vast majority of the time.  Aside from my ex-husband, I rarely saw other adults.  I am a highly sensitive person and an introvert, so I do desperately need alone time.  However, I am also a social creature who enjoys going out with friends and attending various events.  After those events, I need to crawl back into my cave and decompress, but the socialization fuels me and feeds my soul.  Total solitude for days on end equates loneliness to me.

Choosing to be alone and having solitude is definitely one thing.  Loneliness due to health issues and isolation is another.  My experience with the latter has biased me against the first even though I enjoy solitude at times.  You just won’t be finding me taking any two year solitary cruises around the world in this life!

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Every day is a surprise. There are confirmations of an interconnectivity and synchronicity which inspire, titillate and confirm the inherent comedy of the universe.  ~Billy Zane

We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding.  Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.  ~David Richo

There's no such thing as coincidence, I say. It's synchronicity.  ~Raven Kaldera

What is synchronicity? I would describe it as the love child of "it's meant to be" and "what a coincidence."  Synchronicity is based on the belief that things are orchestrated by a higher power in order for things to happen in a meaningful form.  Things that seem coincidental are actually happening for a deeper purpose.

Synchronicity can play out on a relatively low level.  You and a friend might both show up at a movie theater wearing the same dancing friendly outfit because at the last minute you both independently decided that you wanted to change plans from going to the movies to going dancing.  You might be sitting in a coffee shop and look over to notice the person at the next table has the same casual reading that isn't a recent best-seller.  In such a case, you're probably meant to meet and talk to that person for whatever larger reason.  Perhaps it's your new best friend.

Sometimes synchronicity plays out in a much bigger way.  After my youngest was born, I asked my doula to find me a massage therapist who would do outcall because my body was in a lot of pain.  The woman she sent was nice, and I enjoyed the massage.  Many months later, I saw the massage therapist again at a presentation I was giving on infant loss.  Not long after that, I responded to an ad on Craigslist, and the massage therapist turned out to be the poster.  Then her daughter ended up in the same kindergarten class as my daughter at a charter school.  At that point, I surrendered to the Universe and accepted that this woman and I were meant to be friends.  As we got to know each other, we discovered that had I gone to public high school instead of private, we would have graduated from the same high school in the same year in another state!  Clearly our paths were meant to cross in this life for a higher purpose.

In another instance of paths trying to cross multiple times, I used to love a certain road in the town where my grandparents lived.  When we would visit at Christmas time, I used to love to drive on that road but for no particular reason.  It's just a typical suburban road with homes along it.  I later learned that my boyfriend and eventual husband lived along that road at that time!  Later, as a freshman in high school, I went to an educational summer camp.  My parents decided I would be taking physics though I really wanted to take the pottery class.  It turns out my eventual husband was in that pottery class.  We finally managed to actually cross paths at a youth group at his high school that same fall.

Even Google somehow seems to be tied into higher powers' control of synchronicity, or maybe Google has taken over the higher powers.  Either could make sense!  ;)  During a personal message I received a while ago, I saw a man who looked like John Astin driving a 1950s convertible car on a rural British road.  I did quite a bit of Googling on John Astin, but I couldn't find anything that made any sense with regard to this message.  A few days later, I typed "William Clark" plus a few other search terms into Google as I worked on another part of the message.  One of the first hits was William Clark Gable, known to most of us as the actor Clark Gable.  As I looked at his picture, suddenly everything in the message made sense.  I'd mistaken Clark Gable for John Astin!  Sometimes translating messages is a little too much like playing Pictionary with the other side.  However, I'm grateful for when Google helps me to figure things out.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

I am disabled.  It took a long time for me to accept that and to be able to say it without a second thought.  Now it’s as easy for me to say as, “I am 40,” or “I have three living children.”  However, I am one of many who have invisible disabilities.  That means that people look at me and say, “But you look healthy.”  Looks can be very deceiving.  You can’t usually see the pain that is wracking someone’s body unless it’s acute rather than chronic.

When people ask me how I am doing, I will sometimes answer honestly and say, “I’m not doing well at all,” and for most people, that’s not the answer they want to hear.  They want to hear that everything is hunky-dory.  So their response is often, “Well, you look great.”  That’s not very helpful, and sometimes it’s hurtful because it feels like they are trying to negate what I just said about feeling terrible.  It also feels disingenuous to me on a very basic level:  I’ve also gained almost 100 pounds due to my illness, and that doesn’t ever look or feel good to me.  The “you look great” response feels like a platitude.

The better answer when someone says they aren’t feeling well is to acknowledge their pain.  It’s best to reply to them, “I’m sorry you’re not feeling well.  Is there anything I can do to help you out?  I’m happy to listen (or run errands or whatever you can do).”  If you’re not prepared to respond in a compassionate way, then it’s really best you not even ask the question of how someone is doing.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

One of the things that I’ve found to be very important in dealing with a difficult health challenge is finding practitioners who work well with others.  When I speak of my healthcare providers, I speak of them as a team though only two of them share an office space.  Each, however, plays a vital role that cannot be replaced by one of the others.

Finding providers who are willing to work as part of a team is not always easy.  Medical doctors are often known for their egos and their inability to work with others; they are not alone in that stereotype in the healing world or even in life as a whole.  Many of us have control issues, and it’s important that those control issues don’t bleed over into our work and negatively impact our patients’ and clients’ lives.

When I look at a prospective healthcare practitioner’s website, one of the things I am evaluating is how much of a team player they are.  Recently I checked out the website of a naturopath whom someone had recommended to me.  The website made me shudder with horror.  It was very clear that this man was someone who needs to control every aspect of his patient’s healing.  He had an all-or-nothing program established.  That is not something I’m willing to accept.  I want someone who will work well with my other practitioners and who will understand the need to cater a program to my body’s specific needs.

It’s also important that each team member respects their niche and won’t try to take over other’s roles.  My practitioners will offer help in other areas outside their immediate role in my healing plan if I am in need, but they also accept that it is my decision as to which practitioner handles which part of my health.  One of the reasons I stopped seeing one of my practitioners was because she was trying to get me to stop seeing another one of my primary caregivers because she wasn’t fond of him personally.  She’s entitled to her opinion, but when he is someone I work well with and who has helped my health improve immensely, then she out of line to repeatedly try to convince me to stop seeing him.

I also greatly appreciate practitioners who are willing to communicate with each other in regards to managing my health.  When my chiropractor picks up on an issue that my Lyme doctor or pain specialist needs to handle, it is very useful to me to have them be in contact with each other.  I sign HIPAA releases and allow them to work together in my best interest.

Just as I appreciate my healthcare providers working as a team, I also work in the best interest of my clients.  I am well aware that I cannot solve all of someone’s problems by myself.  However, I am happy to work alongside psychotherapists, chiropractors, doctors, acupuncturists, massage therapists, and other healers to improve our clients’ lives.  The more we work together to support the clients, the better their lives become, and the more we can improve the world as a whole.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

In a word, yes.

One of the myths about the other side that I had to work through myself is the idea that all of those on the other side are divinely inspired and are in a place of perfect knowledge.  It’s simply not true.  Most of our spirit guides were human once, and many still are working through issues.  Not all guides are at the highest possible level of enlightenment.  One thing we on this side need to do is recognize that not everyone we are speaking with on the other side is perfect. 

A different type of limitation arises when working with spirit guides in relation to our human perception of what they are saying.  The clarity of communication from the other side depends both on the medium’s ability to receive the message and the guides’ ability to send it.  The longer a soul has served as a guide or an intuitive, the clearer the messages tend to be when I receive them.  None of them seem to send a subtitled message, unfortunately.  As a result, there will always miscommunications, not because the message is wrong but because there are difficulties in translation.  I'm a human who isn't perfect either!

I’ve particularly seen difficulties with communication with newer guides.  I suspect my primary spirit guide is a “master guide” and that she works with newer “student guides” to train them in working with intuitives.  Since I am a teacher who has worked with student teachers, it doesn’t surprise me that I would end up with a guide in a similar role on the other side.  However, it means I have a rotating crew of others helping me on the other side.  I frequently am talking to someone I don’t know.  Sometimes they can communicate well, and other times, it’s a disaster.  I recently got a very confusing and disarming message during meditation, one that was almost threatening to me.  I finally cried out to my primary guide to help, and she stepped in and clearly communicated what I was having trouble understanding in its presentation from a less experienced communicator.

One of the other things that I have gotten frustrated with in dealing with the other side is that we have different priorities for my life based on our perspectives.  For my primary spirit guide, my metaphysical work and healing is the absolute priority in life.  She doesn’t have much concern for my personal life.  It’s not that she doesn’t care about me.  It’s just not what she sees as of importance in the long term.  My primary spirit guide and I have also had issues around time as we don’t view things from the same perspective there, either.

I can get frustrated at times when the other side doesn’t volunteer information unless I ask.  It’s no different than human relationships where one individual presumes the other knows something or doesn’t care about something.  It’s just an interpersonal misfire that is easily fixed when I actually ask for a specific detail which they sometimes give and sometimes don’t.  I’ve also found that our guides cannot helping us with bigger issues unless we ask for help.  We have free will, and because they can’t violate that free will, they stay out of our business unless we make it clear that they are welcome to assist.

Working with spirit guides on the other side is a truly amazing experience.  I wouldn’t give up my metaphysical gifts for anything now that I’ve embraced them.  However, it can be an exasperating and frustrating experience at times, just like when working with anyone else.  My co-workers aren’t more perfect than anyone else’s.  They’re just less likely to drain the coffee pot and fail to refill it!

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

There is no greater sorrow than to recall happiness in times of misery. ~Dante Alighieri

With all due respect, I have to disagree with the great Dante on this one.  There are two ways that one could interpret the quote.  In the first, Dante could be saying that when one is feeling miserable, it is painful to recall what it feels like to be happy.  In the second, Dante could be saying that the presence of happiness in an otherwise miserable time is sorrowful.  Both of these are incorrect in my opinion.

Laughter is healing:  We all know the adage, “Laughter is the best medicine.”  Scientific studies have proven the healing power of laughter time and again.  Our society has taught us, though, that in times of death and loss, we should be somber.  Laughter is falsely seen as an improper response even though it can be quite healthy.  Recently, Jenny Lawson (a.k.a.The Bloggess) wrote about her grandmother-in-law’s death, and on her Facebook page she described, “That amazing moment when … you find yourself in an unexpected room full of people who make you hold new babies, and make you eat too much food, and make you laugh even when you're crying. Nights like these are the ones that get you through mornings like tomorrow.”  I’ve also found that laughter in times of grief helps make the whole experience more bearable.

One of my strongest memories of my grandmother’s wake 23 years ago is of going out to dinner with family during the viewing the night before the funeral.  My two year old cousin sat at the table eating salsa with a spoon as though it was an entree, leaving us all in tears of laughter.  The release was surely good for us during an otherwise stressful time.  Likewise, it was my two year old niece-in-law who sent us all into laughter during the funeral mass of her great-grandmother twenty years ago.  Someone was speaking of the deceased’s family including her two great-grandchildren, and my niece-in-law piped up quite loudly so that all in the church could hear, “That’s me!”  It was a welcome relief in the somber grief of the service.

When it came to the time of my own daughter’s death, a moment of laughter also remains one of my strongest memories.  When my ex-husband and I were at the funeral home signing the release papers for cremation, there was a clause verifying that the deceased did not have a pacemaker because pacemakers can explode during cremation.  To the outside viewer, including the funeral director who was assisting us, there is absolutely nothing funny about that.  However, for some reason, it sent my ex and I into peals of laughter.  It became one of the funniest things we’d ever read.  The stress simply had tipped us over the edge, and we desperately needed to laugh until we cried.

Oscar Wilde stated, "Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one"; I agree with him.  Some of best funerals and memorial services are those that include much laughter as the life of the deceased is truly celebrated.  When I die, I hope my memorial service will be filled with much laughter and joy as friends and family remember the good times we spent together. 

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Recently, my kids and I were watching Sister Act for their first time.  While my kids are all baptized Catholic, we have not raised them as Catholics as my ex-husband and I both grew away from the Catholic religion.  As a result, our kids aren’t very educated about Catholicism.  They know some of the basics, but they don’t have the benefits of the cultural education I gained from growing up Catholic.

At one point, Mother Superior (Maggie Smith) shows Dolores/Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) her “cell,” a.k.a. her room.  Dolores begins complaining violently about how sparse the room is.  I told my kids that the room was pretty accurate for a convent.  My kids just looked at me like I was nuts.  They asked how I would know, and I told them I had spent the night in a convent.  This caused the movie to get paused as my one son asked, “What? Was this some kind of field trip?”  I explained that there was a convent attached to the Catholic school where I went and that I ended up spending a night there. 

The longer story is that when I was in high school, there was a campus ministry sponsored “fastathon” in my freshman and sophomore years during Lent.  The goal was to bring about awareness of global hunger and to raise funds for a food related charity by getting sponsors.  It was basically a 36-48 hour juice fast.  My freshman year, there was a group of about five of us who participated (out of about 225 students total in the high school).  We spent the night at the school, and after dark, we went running shoeless through the unlit hallways.  It was exhilarating event and a priceless memory. :)

My sophomore year, I was the only one who elected to stay at the school while others participated from home due to other social activities.  Since it was just me, I ended up spending the night in the convent with the nun who was sponsoring the activity.  I got to follow the nuns about for their daily activities on the weekend including attending the various matins, vespers, etc.  I also got to see parts of the building that most students never got to see in all their years at the school.  It was an interesting experience, but not one that gave me any desire to join a convent for life, especially since I was already dating my future husband at that point.

I also took a nun with me when I went shopping for my honeymoon lingerie, but as they say, that is another story!

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance