When I was driving to my chiropractor’s office the other morning, I had a local morning talk show playing on the radio. The announcers were discussing Robin Thicke’s recent admission that he didn’t write the lyrics to “Blurred Lines” as he previously claimed. One of the male announcers said, “Poor Robin. He can’t write a song. He can’t keep a woman. He needs to join a dating site!” While it may just have been a very poor segue to a segment on online dating, I still wanted to whack my head onto the steering wheel at that point. The last thing Thicke needs is to get on a dating site at this point.
Let’s examine Thicke’s situation as it's known to the public at this point. He has been separated from his wife for seven months; most of that time he was publicly trying to win her back. Previous to that, they had been in a 21 year relationship and had known each other for two years before that. This wasn’t a quick fling that fell apart. It was a long endeavor, but one that did not end well. It’s not that he can’t keep a woman: It’s that his relationship ended poorly and publicly.
Moreover, when someone is only a few months out of a major relationship and has only recently come to terms that the relationship is actually over and that there is no more hope for a reunion, it’s not time for that person to start dating. While it sometimes happens without folks meaning to, it’s really preferable for most people to take some time for themselves after a relationship ends. If they’re lucky, they’ll be able to work with a life coach or therapist to process some of the pain from the relationship’s demise. They’ll also be able to work on the problems that they contributed to the relationship. None of us are perfect, and we all can stand to do continuing work to improve ourselves. In between relationships is a great time to do this self-reflection so that one doesn’t get into a new relationship that only repeats the problems of previous relationships.
In addition, it’s clear that Thicke has a drug and alcohol abuse problem. He’s quoted as saying, "With all due respect, I was high and drunk every time I did an interview last year." That’s not a good thing. Again, some outside help from a therapist, counselor, or addiction program would serve likely Thicke well. This is not something a dating website will solve. A person dealing with issues this severe really doesn’t need to be trying to find a romantic partner. That person needs to be working on his/her own to heal. Dating websites exist to fix people up, not to fix their problems.
© 2014 Green Heart Guidance
Let’s examine Thicke’s situation as it's known to the public at this point. He has been separated from his wife for seven months; most of that time he was publicly trying to win her back. Previous to that, they had been in a 21 year relationship and had known each other for two years before that. This wasn’t a quick fling that fell apart. It was a long endeavor, but one that did not end well. It’s not that he can’t keep a woman: It’s that his relationship ended poorly and publicly.
Moreover, when someone is only a few months out of a major relationship and has only recently come to terms that the relationship is actually over and that there is no more hope for a reunion, it’s not time for that person to start dating. While it sometimes happens without folks meaning to, it’s really preferable for most people to take some time for themselves after a relationship ends. If they’re lucky, they’ll be able to work with a life coach or therapist to process some of the pain from the relationship’s demise. They’ll also be able to work on the problems that they contributed to the relationship. None of us are perfect, and we all can stand to do continuing work to improve ourselves. In between relationships is a great time to do this self-reflection so that one doesn’t get into a new relationship that only repeats the problems of previous relationships.
In addition, it’s clear that Thicke has a drug and alcohol abuse problem. He’s quoted as saying, "With all due respect, I was high and drunk every time I did an interview last year." That’s not a good thing. Again, some outside help from a therapist, counselor, or addiction program would serve likely Thicke well. This is not something a dating website will solve. A person dealing with issues this severe really doesn’t need to be trying to find a romantic partner. That person needs to be working on his/her own to heal. Dating websites exist to fix people up, not to fix their problems.
© 2014 Green Heart Guidance
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