Over the course of my life, I’ve lived with at least five narcissists and have worked with or encountered several others.  They have ranged from mildly impacted by narcissistic tendencies to those with full blown narcissistic personality disorder.   Narcissism is a spectrum like many other mental health issues such as depression, and it can be concurrent with other mental health issues as well.  Popular culture portrays narcissists as people who are obsessed with their good looks, much like Narcissus in the original Greek myth.  However, in real life, that’s pretty far from the reality of what most narcissists are like.  While some may be overly concerned with their physical appearances, most are much more obsessed with other parts of their psyches.

Narcissists are people who think of their own needs above and beyond anyone else’s.  Narcissists are so deluded and self-involved that they don’t even realize that they are ignoring others’ needs.  Bereft of a true sense of empathy, the narcissists just focus on what they need, and then they decide within their own heads that what is good for them is good for everyone.  Anyone who would dare to claim otherwise is wrong.  Narcissists blame others when things go wrong because narcissists can’t be responsible for their theoretically exemplary actions hurting others. Narcissists often can’t even accept responsibility for simple and common human mistakes such as knocking over a glass.  Someone else must have bumped the table and caused the narcissist’s elbow to hit the glass.  A simple apology for their accidental klutzy behavior is too much to expect.

Narcissists delude others into thinking they, the narcissists, are wonderful people.  The narcissists wear a mask that covers the devious and abusive actions they take against others.  Narcissists are able to manipulate their victims’ feelings and beliefs to the extent that the victims then believe that they are responsible for the narcissists’ self-absorbed behavior.  The victims twistedly accept the blame that narcissists assign to them and believe that things that couldn’t possibly be their fault are actually their fault.

Living with narcissists is exhausting.  Day in and day out, the housemates of a narcissist must constantly be on edge, using their energy to protect themselves against the psychological, energetic and sometimes physical attacks of narcissists.  You never know when or what the next attack may be.  The narcissists will always deny their responsibility or come up with excuses or ways to blame their victims.  Because narcissists are perfect in their deluded minds, there is no real recourse or hope for those who live with them except praying for a good day.

To escape a narcissistic relationship, there is only one real option:  To leave.  Narcissists will not change because they don’t think there is anything wrong with them to change.  People cannot continue to have a relationship with a narcissist and not expect to have serious emotional, spiritual and possibly physical and sexual damage done to them.  While the decision to quit associating with a narcissist whom one loves is traumatic and painful, the other side of the decision is a wonderful place to be.  Once one is no longer associating with the narcissist, one’s perspective becomes much clearer.  One realizes how twisted, demented and damaging the self-absorbed actions of the narcissist are.  At that point, the former victims can begin focusing on their own issues rather than just trying to meet the needs of the narcissists.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

 (As always, I am not a medical doctor.  This information is based on my personal experiences and should not be substituted for medical diagnosis or treatment.  Please speak to your health care providers about your personal situation.)

I previously reviewed Healing Yoga for Aches and Pains by Lisa Bennet Matkin and Charles Matkin.  Today’s review encompasses another video in the same series, Healing Yoga for Common Conditions.  A sample of the video is above courtesy of YouTube.

This video is a low key yoga session that is meant to help promote general healing.  It is meant for someone with a full range of physical motion though it’s definitely not meant for someone who is already strong and well versed in yoga.  The session gave my lower back a great workout as well as my upper legs and upper arms as it included sun salutations, downward facing dog, warrior pose, lunges, twists and more.   It was honestly a bit more than I can physically handle at this point, but I knew to stop when my body was not able to go further so that I didn’t injure myself. 

The narrative focuses on healing, and the positive attitude it shares is really uplifting.  The narrators ask the user to work toward their best, and frequently remind us of the importance of incremental improvement.  There’s no judgment, and there’s no urging to push one’s self too far or too fast. It’s a compassionate approach to sharing yoga and healing.

I only had a few critiques of the video.  The instructors are both in fabulous physical shape, so they don’t present accommodations for some of the asanas that are difficult for someone with extra body fat.  Those would have been helpful for me.  As with the other video of theirs I reviewed, I wish there was more music at the end for additional meditation, though this is rectified by keeping a music player nearby to turn on after the video ends.  The music that was playing during shavasana had water running, and that is one of my pet peeves about relaxation music:  For many women, myself included, running water makes us want to pee.  It’s not relaxing!

This video is available on Ebay and Amazon through independent retailers.  It may also be available in local libraries.  Several of the Matkins’ other videos are also available on YouTube, too.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Each year around this time, many of my friends begin a “30 Days with a Grateful Heart” project that was started by one of the women in the group we all met through.  Through this exercise, these women post on Facebook or on their blogs almost every day in December about something they are grateful for.  In theory, I can see how this is a beautiful way to bring a positive spirit to a season that has been overly commercialized.  In reality, I used to spend the first week of December fighting anger, depression and frustration related to this project.  I was really bothered.  I couldn’t read most of the posts on the topic.  It took me a while to formulate my thoughts on the subject, and I eventually decided that it was something that others need to hear because my outlook is different.  I formulated this post which I originally posted on Facebook for friends several years ago; I've edited and updated it for this blog.  This post definitely isn’t meant as an attack on those who do the project.  Instead, it’s mean to give the perspective of someone who fights major health issues.

For me, living with chronic illness has changed gratitude from something that can be a project that is confined to one month a year.  Gratitude is something that I have to find every single day.  It is a survival skill.  It is what helps me endure the pain and suffering.  In order to keep myself motivated to keep fighting a seemingly uphill battle, I have to count my blessings daily.  I’m not fortunate enough to only focus on these things for a short time each year.  If I lose sight of the things I am grateful for, I will lose the will to keep going.

My health issues also led me to shift the things that I am grateful for.  To those who do gratitude projects at this time of year, please consider adding “health” towards the top of your list of blessings.  If you can go to the grocery store by yourself; if you can go for a walk in the park almost any day of the year; if you can go to your children’s school pageants; if you can attend weddings and funerals; if you can go out with friends to a happy hour; if you can travel near and far; and if your lack of health does not limit the way you live your life, then you are truly blessed in a way that you don’t realize until you lose all of those things.

In the spirit of gratitude, I am going to share my list of things that I am grateful for.  I don’t give thanks for all of them every day, but I do have to find gratitude for some of them 365 days a year.

• I am grateful for my three living children.  During the worst times of this illness when there was little hope for diagnosis or cure, they were the motivation that kept me alive.  They are amazing humans, and I feel so blessed that the universe has sent them into my life.
• I am grateful to have only endured the death of one of my children when so many women in the world lose far more of theirs due to natural disasters or preventable problems such as starvation and illnesses borne by poor sanitation.  I hope that my remaining three children are blessed with long, healthy and happy lives.
• I am grateful for my metaphysical gifts which have greatly advanced my healing at deeper levels than I ever fathomed possible.  Opening to them has changed my lie in ways I never dreamed of in my younger years.  I am so grateful to be able to use them to help others, too.
  
• I am grateful for my health care providers who work to improve my overall quality of life.  Through years of working intensely with some of them, they have also become close friends.
• I am grateful for both drugs and herbs which help me heal.  I am grateful for the current progress we are making with my healing, painful though it may be.
• I am grateful that I have decent health insurance.  Even though I pay for a large percentage of my health expenses out of pocket, health insurance does cover part of it.  Everyone in the country should be so privileged to have the same or better.
  
• I am grateful that I am able to buy organic food.  Eating organic is not a lifestyle choice for me.  It’s a medical necessity.  Food free of synthetic pesticides prevents me from having reactions that include extreme fatigue (even worse than what I normally endure), breathing problems, and fibromyalgia pain among others.
• I am grateful to have a home where I am safe and able to live healthily.  For many with multiple chemical sensitivities, housing is a huge challenge.  They can’t afford to buy a safe place and finding an affordable safe home to rent is almost impossible.  I am also extremely grateful that the house is still standing and relatively undamaged after a lightning strike in 2009.
• I am grateful for an ex-husband who is such a loving dad to our kids.  I am grateful for our amicable divorce that was completed this year.  I am grateful for all of the positive changes and growth in my life that came through the divorce.
• I am grateful for the beautiful new name that I chose during the divorce.  It makes me smile each time I sign it.
• I am grateful for my intelligence and education.  The disease I am facing requires a large amount of research and action on the part of the patient, and I am able to find and absorb that knowledge.  Without the skills I have, my healing process would not have advanced as far as it has.
• I am grateful for the good (relatively speaking) health days I have.  Any time I get to go for a walk, go to a park,  go to a farmers’ market, or go to a social event, I feel blessed.
• I am grateful for all that photography has brought to my life in terms of stress relief and in giving me a new way to look at the world.  I see new things around me that I never noticed before (especially with my beloved macro lens involved!).
• I am grateful to live in Austin.  Even though I may complain about the heat and allergens and lack of snow, I appreciate the liberal eco-friendly culture that abounds here.  
• And last but not least, I am grateful for the friends, near and far, who have helped me keep some semblance of sanity throughout all of this.    

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Recently while perusing profiles on a popular dating site, I came across a younger man who decided to list his best and worst qualities in his introductory section.  This isn’t an uncommon technique, but it’s not one I’d recommend because it makes such a weak first impression.  I'm definitely not advising that we lie about ourselves even though we all have flaws.  However, when introducing ourselves to new people in person, we don’t usually walk up and say, “Hi.  I’m Jenny.  I failed three classes in college and have had two traffic accidents in the past year that were my fault.  I bite my nails, too.”  Instead, we usually try to put our best foot forward.  First impressions count a lot.

In the case of this man, he actually lists some positive qualities among those he sees as negative things about himself.  He sees being introverted as one of his weaknesses.  Introversion is usually not a weakness or a defect.  It’s a personality type, and one that affects a significant portion of the population (including me).  It simply means you are fond of staying in rather than going out partying frequently.  For other introverts, that’s definitely a positive trait.

The man on the dating site also seemingly judged himself for having “little patience with frivolity.”  Depending on how he means that, I could see that as an attractive quality.  One could easily rephrase that as, “I prefer people who are well-grounded in life.”  I’m a woman who finds ditzy types a turn off, and I’ve long ago outgrown the giggly superficial adolescent stage that many females get stuck in.  So a man who sees this quality as a strength, not a weakness, would be attractive to me.

This issue of strengths and weaknesses came up often in job interviews earlier in my life.  I found myself answering the question, “What is your greatest strength?” usually immediately followed by, “And what is your greatest weakness?”  For me, they are one and the same depending on how they are used.  At that point in my life, I usually answered that my greatest strengths were my determination and my willpower, but if not kept under control, they became my greatest weakness of becoming stubborn in cases when it would have been better to become more flexible. 

I suspect for many others this is true as well:  Our strengths and weaknesses are opposite sides of the same coin.  Our challenge in life is to find a way to accentuate those strengths and grow beyond our weaknesses.  We all have our weaknesses, and we all need to work on them, but that doesn’t mean we have to brand those weaknesses on our foreheads.  Instead, we all need to focus on what amazing people we are, especially when we are trying to convince others of just that.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Once upon a time much earlier in my life, I participated in the madness of Black Friday, though twenty years ago Black Friday wasn’t quite the consumer event it is now.  Most years, though, I spent the Friday after Thanksgiving happily curled up at home with my nose in a book.  In more recent years, my values have switched greatly, and I no longer have any desire to fight the crowds in order to purchase things.  In fact, my overall attitude towards physical items has shifted greatly.  When I make a purchase, I now ask myself many of these questions:

• Do I really need this?
• Why do I want to buy this?
• Is this practical?
  
• What purpose does this serve?
  
• How will this improve my life?
  
• Will this item damage the environment in any way?
• How many days per year will I use this?  Could I rent it instead?
  
• How will I be able to dispose of it when I am done with it?
  
• Will it increase the amount of clutter in my house?
  
• Will I have to clean it?  Is it easy to clean?
  
• Will this item take too much effort to maintain?
  
• Will this item add joy or pleasure to my life?
  
• If this is a gift, how will this improve someone else’s life?

For some of my purchases, the answer is clear with the first question.  Do I really need to buy new ink for the printer?  Unfortunately, yes, that is a purchase that I have to make.  There’s no reason to go further with the questioning.  With other purchases, I have to figure out if it’s a true need versus something I just want.  Sometimes it’s very easy to figure out that it’s just a want and not a need.  Other times it’s not so easy.  I also have to make sure that the joy or pleasure an item is adding to my life isn’t just a temporary purchase glee that won’t bring me true happiness.

When it comes to gift-giving, I now try to use the same type of philosophy.  As I’ve noted in my seasonal stress blog post, I try to give non-tangible gifts whenever possible.  This might be the gift of my time and energy.  It might be donations to a nonprofit, tickets to events, or memberships at a museum.  I also consider gift certificates for meals, delivery services, or grocery stores for those whom that might be the best approach (including teachers who really don’t need any more coffee mugs).  With individuals who live in small spaces including the elderly who may have downsized to live in a smaller home, physical objects can become one more thing to have to find a place for.  For kids, many of them have more toys than they know what to do with.  In all of these cases, giving something that can bring emotional joy or make their lives a bit easier is the better choice than a physical object that will just end up going to Goodwill or Freecycle in a few weeks.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

When I awoke from my nap this afternoon, I was in that space between this world and the other one.  The place where I can hear and see things that aren't totally on this plane of existence.  It's the place where my visions happen.  It often occurs as I enter or leave the world of sleep as the veil is thin then, but it definitely is not dreaming.  It's a totally different sensation and experience.

Today, I awoke to screams and cries.  I couldn't tell if it was a battlefield after the war or a natural disaster or some sort of riot.  It was filled with pain and anger and suffering.  It was not a pleasant sound to hear.  I couldn't see any kind of visual.  It was all aural.  I questioned if it had anything to do with the past life regression I experienced today to the 4th century CE in Greece.  I got no further information to lead me to believe it had anything to do with that.  The screams just continued.  And so I got up, disturbed by what I experienced.

It's only now dawning on me and concerning me that it might have been a premonition of the Ferguson events tonight.  I grew up in a far different suburban area of St. Louis, and it pains me to see this all happening.  I am now praying for the peace and safety of all those in Ferguson, the surrounding areas, and far beyond as this decision is issued this evening.  If you are also of the praying mindset, consider offering a similar prayer for those involved.

*The pink water lily flower essence "helps unburden our hearts of their deepest aches and sorrows.... Pink Water Lily anchors us to the vibration of love no matter what emotional events rock our world.  This one works so softly and deeply that it feels like a prayer of peace moving through our bodies."

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

My business card says I’m a holistic life coach and intuitive energy healer.  So what does being “an intuitive energy healer” mean?  To start with, it’s a term I made up.  I was trying to find a good way to describe the work I do because no other term I’d seen really encompassed it all for me. 

An energy healer is someone who works to heal people on an energy level.  Some healers use Reiki; others work with crystals; others use essential oils.  There are many other energy healing methods, some of which are becoming fairly mainstream such as acupuncture.  Most energy healers are hands-on healers. 

I am an intuitive:  I work with energy from a distance most of the time rather than being in the same room as my clients.  Because of this, I didn’t simply want to list myself as an energy healer because for many people, that connotes an in-person experience.  However, unlike many other intuitives or psychics who receive messages from the other side, the messages I receive very often have to do with healing especially through energetic means.  The work I do isn’t just for fun to try and peak into the future.  It creates an avenue for people to work on deep personal healing.

So an intuitive energy healer, in my opinion and creation, is one who works with metaphysical energy by accessing information from higher powers.  I help my clients find solutions for their problems, especially surrounding health issues, that aren’t always easily solved through physical means such as prescription drugs and herbs. 

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

For Thanksgiving of 2003, my ex-husband and I attended a gathering of his extended family.  It included 11 adults, five children, and our exclusively breastfed baby all crammed into an apartment living room really only meant to hold six or eight comfortably.  The original plans had been for four more to join us, and I’m not sure where they would have sat if they did attend!

At that time, all of my children and I (as a breastfeeding mom) had food sensitivities.  So when the in-laws declared the menu, I was dismayed at best.  All the food was conventional; the idea of eating organic was ridiculous to them.  The family insisted on having a turkey made by the most popular mainstream vendor which is basted in butter… a problem for those who are dairy sensitive.  Also on the menu were rolls (gluten), mashed potatoes (dairy), gravy (gluten), sweet potato casserole (dairy and sugar), corn bread stuffing (dairy and gluten), green bean casserole (dairy and gluten), apple pie (dairy and gluten) and pecan pie (gluten).  There were a few other sundry items that weren’t part of my family’s food traditions, but they too were loaded with either gluten, dairy, or sugar.  There were no other healthy items, and there was absolutely nothing on the menu we could eat.

To solve this problem for us, I offered to bring food to share.  I was politely told, “No, that’s ok.  We already have everything covered.”  Frustrated, I replied that I would like to bring a salad so that I was actually able to eat something at dinner.  I received a less hospitable “fine” response.  So I brought an organic garden salad that was adequate to share with the entire gathering (plus we brought other foods for our toddlers).  Of all the people there, I was the ONLY one who ate any of the salad.

Such is the way most Thanksgiving dinners in America go.  People love to blame the tryptophan in the turkey for that horrible lethargic feeling we endure after Thanksgiving dinner, but the reality is that we gorge ourselves on an amount of carbohydrates that is sufficient for an entire week, not just one or two meals.  Add in alcohol or soda to the menu above, and I would end up in a coma nowadays if I tried to eat as most Americans do.

So how can one go about enjoying Thanksgiving yet making it healthier?  I’m not saying one has to banish all one’s favorites for sure.  I am suggesting that one moderate and adjust what one eats.  There are many ways to do this. 

For starters, consider limiting the menu to a rational number of items.  Do you really need to eat four different starchy sides at one meal in large amounts?  Yes, they are all so delicious, but they can be delicious at several different meals over the holiday weekend.  Make stuffing on Thursday, mashed potatoes on Friday, and sweet potatoes on Saturday.  Serve one type of pie each day.  This will limit the temptation to eat some of everything at every meal.

Another way to help with this overload, especially if you are not the host and therefore not able to limit what is being served, is to restrict yourself to one plate of food.  You don’t need to go back for seconds.  Start by loading the healthiest available items onto your plate, such as salad or roasted veggies.  Then put on meat (if you’re not a vegetarian), and divide the remaining space between small portions of the carbohydrates that are being served.  Don’t try to overstuff your plate.  You are not starving, and you will be grateful not to feel miserable after the meal.  Only have one small piece of your favorite kind of pie, and limit yourself to one glass of alcohol (or none if you don’t drink) coupled with a lot of water.

Switching to serving organic food can also help make Thanksgiving dinner a little less toxic.  The contents of some of the most popular Thanksgiving dishes are really alarming.  Still, it’s entirely possible to make a very unhealthy organic meal that is loaded with carbohydrates and sugars.  Moderation is still necessary!  There are also many websites for making items gluten and dairy free if you are having guests with special needs.  I grew up in a family which used cornstarch, not flour, to make gravy, so some of the adjustments aren’t even that radical!

As for my house, we’ll be having a simple Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s just my kids and me this year.  Since two of us aren’t big fans of turkey, we’ll be eating an all-natural ham without preservatives like nitrates and nitrites.  We’ll have organic dairy free mashed potatoes made from scratch, organic gravy, and some kind of organic green vegetable.  The kids will drink organic sparkling apple cider, and then for dessert for the kids there will be organic pumpkin pie.  We might make stuffing for them at some other point in the weekend, and we’ve also got plans for a lemon cranberry bread.  I’ll probably make a ham, white bean and kale soup out of the leftover ham and bone.  All in all, we’re not going to eat like this is our last meal.  We’re going to be sensible and yet enjoy foods we love.

© 2014 GreenHeartGuidance.com

 (As always, I am not a medical doctor.  This information is based on my personal experiences and should not be substituted for medical diagnosis or treatment.  Please speak to your health care providers about your personal situation.)

My introduction to yoga came when I was pregnant with my first baby.  My midwife asserted that the women who took yoga classes did the best during labor; that was enough to motivate me to sign up for really wonderful hatha prenatal yoga classes with a fabulous instructor.  I loved yoga and did it through my twin pregnancy as well as some postpartum yoga.   And my midwife was right:  The techniques I learned in prenatal yoga were fare more useful for me during labor than those I learned in my Bradley childbirth class.

More recently in my life as I was trying to raise myself up out of my chronic illness, my chiropractor started encouraging me to meditate daily.  I was open to the idea, so one day I laid down in shavasana and tried.  I couldn’t do it.  The only thing I could think was, “I need to do yoga first before I can do this.”  So I found the video reviewed here on Netflix streaming (no longer available), and I began.  I was quite pleased with what I had found in this video that was at exactly the right level for me and my physical restrictions.  My chiropractor was thrilled that I had not only begun meditating but had gone back to yoga as well.  He didn’t mean to accomplish quite so much in one try!

The video I discovered was Healing Yoga for Aches and Pains by Lisa Bennet Matkin and Charles Matkin.  In addition to currently being available for short term rental on Amazon Instant Video, the cheapest place I found it for purchase on the web is Target.  There are also more expensive copies on Amazon and Ebay. 

The video is designed for individuals with mobility impairment.  It presents some very common yoga asanas (positions) that have been adapted to make them easier for someone who is physically weak or in pain.  One does need to be able to stand, sit, and lay on the floor, or you could skip that particular section if you can't get into those positions.  A yoga mat is recommended but not required; one also needs a chair to work with, though I’ve used the footboard on my bed for parts of it.   Many times the instructors in the video refer to people with arthritis, but I think the video is great for fibromyalgia or Lyme, both of which I have.   The video is really low key and isn’t suitable for someone who is in prime physical condition, but for those of us with limitations, it can be perfect.

If you have never done yoga before, I’d recommend starting with a private tutor or classes before using a video; then you can use the video instead of or to supplement classes.  I recommend starting with an instructor so that you can learn how the positions are supposed to work so that you don’t hurt yourself.  Yoga may look easy, but it’s actually quite strenuous at times, and it is possible to hurt yourself.  Case in point:  The first time I watched this video, I went into a lunge, something I could easily do when I was healthy.  A split second after I started the asana, I had the thought, “My knees can’t handle this,” and I collapsed to the floor as one of my knees gave out.  Fortunately, it wasn’t anything my chiropractor couldn’t fix easily, but it illustrates my point.  If you’ve got a particular weakness in your body, learning the dangers first is really important to preventing injury.

My only complaint about the video is that the shavasana (or relaxation) at the end is way too short.  I’d like to have at least 15-20 minutes of instrumental music available at the end to extend my meditation period.  I’ve worked around this by hitting pause on the DVD and hitting play on a music machine (iPod, CD player, etc.) of some sort that I have sitting nearby.

One of the advantages to doing a yoga video at home is the that the hotter I get, the more I can just take off clothes.  While there is an all-male naked yoga studio in Austin, that’s not really my thing for many reasons!  If I’m stripping, I want to be in the privacy of my own home.  The video also allows me to pause it if I need a break or if I need to go to the bathroom.  I can start whenever I feel up to it, and I can stop when my body says it’s done.  While it doesn’t have the benefit of socialization with others and the added instructor guidance, for someone who is homebound and disabled, this video offers a way to partake in yoga.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Most people wouldn’t consider taking something off of a store shelf and then brazenly carrying it out of the store unconcealed without paying for it, nor would they consider plagiarizing a famous author’s work. However, the majority of people don’t think twice about stealing photography off the web. Because it’s “free” and easy to cut and paste, the popular notion has become that it is ok to use whatever one wants however one wants if one found it on the web. However, just because a photo is on the web doesn’t make it in the public domain.

If a photograph is marked as copyright or has a © notation on it, that means that you definitely need permission to use that photograph, especially if you want to put it on your website. Tracking down the photographers or artists can be a little tricky at times, but it is possible to do with a Google image search (GIS) or TinEye search. These plugins allow you to right click on a photo and then search the internet for the photo. I’ve found that GIS does a better job of searching than TinEye, but on occasion, TinEye will find something that GIS does not. From there, you can figure out if the author of the work has granted permission for it to be used on the web or if you will need to message them to gain permission. 

Almost all of the photos on my website are my own; I’m blessed to have a great archive of photos I’ve accumulated over the years. I will grant permission for individuals to use photos on occasion, but as I have a photography business, I generally don’t give away my photos. It’s part of my income. On the other hand, I willingly share my inspirational memes which I’ve created for public dissemination. They are marked as copyright, but my Flickr page, Facebook page, and Pinterest page clearly note that they may be shared without altering, adapting, or changing them in any way.

The photos on my website which aren’t mine are marked as creative commons. Creative commons (cc) is a licensing system that allows photographers and artists to designate how their works may be reproduced. I only use creative commons photos which are allowed to be adapted in making my inspirational mantras. I haven’t used any public domain photos on my website yet, but there is a chance I will do that eventually.

In order to find photos which are ok to use for websites and are free, there are two easy search options: Google and Flickr. On Google images, you can do an advanced search for whatever you are looking for and under the last option of “usage rights” mark what you are looking for. Aside from that direct link above to advanced search, the link can be found on the top of the far right of the website under the control options which look like an illustration of a gear.

To find images that are creative commons or public domain on Flickr, search for whatever you want in the search box. When you get to the page of results, then pick the third option along the top of the screen for “license.” From there you can select from different creative commons types.

Another great resource is Free Range Stock a website that has free membership (registration required) and which allows users to download and use free photos and textures that are not under copyright. [Update 7/14/15: Can Stock Photo has asked that I also share them as a resource for free and low price photography.]

It’s easy to find free and legal photos to use on the web, so there’s no reason to steal pictures from photographers and deny their right to be paid for their work. If you need an even bigger database of photos than are available from creative commons licensing or public domain photos, you can always subscribe to iStock, Getty Images, or one of the many other online stock photography sites for relatively cheaply. This also means you will be helping financially support photographers for their work. Artists, just like everyone else, deserve to be paid for their labor.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it. ~Rabindranath Tagore

I grew up in a conservative, college-educated, Catholic, military family.  This upbringing was one that had an emphasis on logic and rationality.  Using one’s intuition was not a priority, especially if it countered logic.   As a result, I spent the majority of my childhood and early adulthood ignoring my intuition even when it was overwhelming.  I almost always regretted not following my gut feelings even though I was doing exactly what I had been taught to do.

My chronic illness has taught me otherwise.  Through my health struggles, I began to develop my intuition as it assisted me greatly in my healing.  The first time I really used intuition to assist in my treatment was my decision to go on Valtrex, an anti-viral that is sometimes used to treat those with high HHV-6 levels which can lead to extreme fatigue.   While my HHV-6 levels were out of range, they were not as high as those who showed remarkable progress on Valtrex.  Still, my doctor was open to trying it because I was so certain I wanted to.  While my HHV-6 levels never dropped, the Valtrex did something else amazing:  My energy levels went up.  It was not enough to make me functional again, but this was the first step in getting me to be less bedbound than I was at that time.  Clearly some virus in my system was part of the larger problem, and the Valtrex addressed that issue.

Throughout my illness, I have continued to hone my intuition.  I am very good at picking the supplement that is best for my own body now, in part due to intuition and in part due to my higher power connections.  Just exercising this intuition was the starting point in what led to the opening up of my other metaphysical gifts.  My intuition is still not perfect: I would estimate that it is 95% right when it comes to matters about me, and when it is wrong the other 5% of the time, it is due to my high emotional involvement.  However, knowing that has taught me that when I’m highly emotionally involved, I need to draw on other outside resources to make sure I provide myself with the best care.

We all have intuition, and we are all able to listen to “that gut feeling.”  I believe that everyone should usually follow their gut even when authorities, rational thinking or logic tell you otherwise.  This doesn’t just have to apply to health issues.  When you are considering dating someone and your gut tells you not to, then don’t do it.  Something in your intuition is trying to protect you.  When everything about a business deal feels bad to you, if it’s in your power to change it or stop it, then do so.  You can use your intuition even just getting in the car and going somewhere:  If your gut tells you not to take the route you normally do, there’s probably a good reason for that such as an accident or a traffic jam.

Following your intuition doesn’t mean you have to give up rational thought.  I describe myself as “an interesting paradox of an intellectual from academia combined with a grounded but metaphysically gifted person.”  It is possible to do both, though I have found it hard to find my place in society as I integrate two positions that are erroneously believed to be in opposition to each other.  Yet this is who I am:  An extremely logical and rational woman who uses her intuition and metaphysical gifts to guide her.  I love whom I am, and I have no desire to change that!

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

(As always, I am not a medical doctor.  This information is based on my personal experiences and should not be substituted for medical diagnosis or treatment.  Please speak to your health care providers about your personal situation.)

Recently on a Lyme related list that I read, one of the new members asked what detoxing was.  For me, that’s detoxification is something that is such a part of my vocabulary and life that it’s almost like asking me what breathing is.  I actually had to stop and think about it.

Detoxification is a natural process we do all the time.  It’s our bodies’ way of getting rid of anything we take in that is toxic.  In our modern world, we absorb a lot of synthetic chemicals that our bodies don’t need or want through the food we eat (pesticides, synthetic ingredients, artificial colors and flavoring, and more), the air we breathe (air “fresheners,” paints, cleaners, gas fumes, and more), and the products we wear (shampoos, deodorants, detergents, makeup, and more). 

In a healthy human, detoxification happens naturally through any excreted bodily fluid:  Urine, feces, sweat, tears, mucus, breastmilk, even semen.  Anything that our body puts out has the ability to contain the toxins we have absorbed.  Most commonly our liver and kidneys do this filtering and send the waste products out through our urine and bowel movements.  However, with the high synthetic chemical load in our bodies, we dump unnecessary chemicals through our other fluids as well.  This is how you end up with studies showing high levels of toxic chemicals in breastmilk.

For some of us with impaired detoxification systems due to various issues, detoxing is rough. My Lyme has combined with genetic issues to make my liver my weakest organ in my body, and so I struggle to get toxic chemicals out.  This in turn is part of what creates my multiple chemical sensitivities. I am not alone in this:  Many with autoimmune issues struggle with impaired detoxification.

So then how does one intentionally detox to force more of the chemicals we are exposed to out of our bodies rather than storing them in our body fat?  There are many natural ways to do it.  One of the easiest is sweating.  Exercising, saunas, or anything that makes you sweat will help reduce your toxic chemical load.

Another way is through diet.  Eating an organic whole foods diet of any type assists the body in detoxifying.  First, the less garbage you put in, the less garbage you have to get out.  Second, natural food has many healing properties.  Eating well can help undo previous damage to your body and can assist in detoxing any harsh chemicals your body is storing.

Many people like to try popular cleanses that they find on the internet including the Master Cleanse.  The Master Cleanse involves fasting for a designated amount of time (3-10+ days depending on which plan you follow) and during that time only drinking a mixture of lemon juice, water, cayenne pepper, and maple syrup.  There is some truth to this helping with detoxification:  Lemon juice does assist in liver cleansing.  However, cleanses like this can also be dangerous.  Because you stop eating solids, the body no longer has the means to have abundant bowel movements.  That means many of the toxins you are releasing are getting stuck in your body rather than being sent out through the stools.  Cleanses like this can be made safer by adding in organic low carbohydrate vegetables to assist with the detoxification.  However, all cleanses really should be done under the guidance of an appropriate practitioner.  (See below.)

Cleanses are NOT healthy when one uses them in order to regularly binge.  I know individuals who will fast during weekdays in order to consumer large amounts of sugar, gluten, and alcohol on the weekends.  This is really not good for one’s body.  Many of us will cheat on our healthy diets occasionally to have a piece of wedding cake or such, but treating one’s body with flagrant disrespect by binge eating and fasting is really not a good idea.  A slow but steady diet of healthy organic foods is the far better approach to healthy eating.

There are also many supplements that can cause or support detoxification.  Because of the detoxification impairment I battle, I am constantly on supplements that can support my body’s natural means, though I rarely take supplements to encourage additional detoxification.  These supplements that I take help my liver process the chemicals which it struggles with otherwise.  I can tell when I am taking them and when I stop.

If you are considering doing a cleanse or using supplements to assist with detoxification, I very strongly recommend you use a reputable local practitioner to help you.  In particular, chiropractors and naturopaths have training in this area; some integrative doctors do as well.  If you use an experienced practitioner who uses muscle testing, they can help you in finding what your body actually needs to detox from and what will best assist in this process rather than randomly trying things to see what works.  This increases efficiency and saves time and money in the long run.  These practitioners can also help you when unexpected issues surface.  Detoxification is not always straightforward or easy:  It can sometimes cause miserable flu-like symptoms.  It may also bring up serious emotional reactions as the body purges all that it does not need to store.  Thus, having a practitioner to assist you can ease your misery in the process and keep you from going into a serious state of crisis.  You want your net result to be a healthier body, not just a miserable experience with no lasting positive health benefits.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

Earlier in my life journey, I briefly worked with a therapist who introduced me to the world of holistic spiritual healing.  She wasn’t the right therapist for me, but I am grateful for her pointing me in the direction I needed to go in life, and working with her helped me to end up with the right therapist in the long run. Anyway, this short term therapist wanted me to do a soul retrieval ceremony with a shaman.  When she made that suggestion to me, I had no idea what she was talking about, and I had a bit of an internal freak out.  The visions going through my head were similar to the beautiful photos in this article. (Trigger warning: There is an animal slaughter included in the pictures.)  To put it simply, that was just not my thing, and it was too radical of a concept for me to handle at that point.

So what is a shaman?  Simply put, a shaman is a traditional healer who likely works with herbs, spiritual guidance, music, trances, and other natural means.  All shamans work with greater powers beyond themselves.  Some might refer to a shaman as a medicine man or woman.  Shamans work with ways of accessing healing energy that are far outside our ideas of mainstream healing in modern America. 

There is no one exact way to be a shaman:  The roles and rituals of shamans vary greatly across cultures.  Their methods may seem primitive or they may seem incredibly advanced and gifted depending on one’s individual perspective.  Being a shaman runs in families, but it’s a vocation, not a hereditary position in most cultures.  You don’t choose shamanism.  It chooses you.  There is usually extensive training and initiation within each culture in order to become a shaman.

I consider myself to be a modern day shamanic practitioner, and if I’m forced to put down a category for my religious preference, I indicate shamanism.  Shamanism is actually a broad term that includes many different practices just as Christianity encompasses many different beliefs and variations.  Shamanism also falls under the even broader category of paganism.

Contrary to what Barbara Tedlock, Ph.D, describes of other cultures in The Woman in the Shaman's Body: Reclaiming the Feminine in Religion and Medicine, most healthy shamans in modern America do not use trickery.  Drugs, mushrooms, or other hallucinogenic substances are also not required:  Those substances are rarely if ever needed though that is not a belief held in other many cultures.  Shamanism in America today is about availing oneself of the assistance of higher powers, about pursuing natural healing, about working with the mind-body-spirit connection, and about bringing humans into alignment with themselves, their culture, and their planet.

I don’t own a fancy headdress.  I definitely don’t slaughter animals or don’t make sacrifices on altars. I don’t even paint my face with everyday makeup.  In many ways, I look like an average American woman.  Yet I consider myself blessed to be a shamanic practitioner and to be able to help others with healing using the mind-body-spirit connection, the assistance of higher powers, and the resources of Mother Earth.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance, LLC