Monday, September 28, 2015
7:00 PM to 8:30 PM  
North Village Branch Library  
2505 Steck Ave., 78757  

Please RSVP using the form below or on Facebook as space is limited. Light refreshments will be served including vegan and gluten free options.  Please bring your non-alcoholic beverage of choice with you.

As a courtesy to those attending who are sensitive to fragrances, please refrain from wearing synthetic perfumes, colognes, and aftershaves. Essential oil based scents are fine in moderation.

This session is directed towards acupuncturists, massage therapists, rolfers, reiki practitioners, rolfers, chiropractors, and other light workers or body workers. If you are not able to attend the session designated for your particular professional group, you are welcome to attend one of the other sessions with the understanding that the presentation will be geared towards a different group of healers. More information on the individual presentations can be found at http://www.greenheartguidance.com/classes.html.

Please join Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., of Green Heart Guidance, LLC, to learn more about how she can assist you and your clients or patients in their quest for emotional, physical and spiritual health. Through her skills as an intuitive, Dr. Galen contacts higher powers to help pinpoint issues for those who may be struggling to heal through common paths. Dr. Galen will also relate how her intuitive gifts helped her fight a seemingly hopeless 12 year battle with late disseminated Lyme disease because of the emotional and spiritual traumas that were preventing her immune system from functioning correctly.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Please join Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., of Green Heart Guidance, LLC, to learn more about how she can assist you and your clients or patients in their quest for emotional, physical and spiritual health. Through her skills as an intuitive, Dr. Galen contacts higher powers to help pinpoint issues for those who may be struggling to heal through common paths. Dr. Galen will also relate how intuitive healing helped resolve stored trauma from the stillbirth of her first child.

Please RSVP using the form below or on Facebook as space is limited. Light refreshments will be served including vegan and gluten free options.  Please bring your non-alcoholic beverage of choice with you.

As a courtesy to those attending who are sensitive to fragrances, please refrain from wearing synthetic perfumes, colognes, and aftershaves. Essential oil based scents are fine in moderation.

This session is directed towards midwives, doulas, and obstetricians as well as their support staffs. If you are not able to attend the session designated for your particular professional group, you are welcome to attend one of the other sessions with the understanding that the presentation will be geared towards a different group of healers. More information on the individual presentations can be found at http://www.greenheartguidance.com/classes.html.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015  
7:00 PM to 8:30 PM  
Old Quarry Branch  
7051 Village Center Dr, 78731  

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Please join Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., of Green Heart Guidance, LLC, to learn more about how she can assist you and your patients in their quest for emotional, physical and spiritual health. Through her skills as an intuitive, Dr. Galen contacts higher powers to help pinpoint issues for those who may be struggling to heal through common paths. Dr. Galen will also relate how her intuitive gifts helped her fight a seemingly hopeless 12 year battle with late disseminated Lyme disease because of the emotional and spiritual traumas that were preventing her immune system from functioning correctly.

Thursday, July 23, 2015  
7:00 PM to 8:30 PM  
Old Quarry Branch  
7051 Village Center Dr, 78731

Please RSVP to Elizabeth via the form below or on Facebook as space is limited. Light refreshments will be served including vegan and gluten free options.  Please bring your non-alcoholic beverage of choice with you.

As a courtesy to those attending who are sensitive to fragrances, please refrain from wearing synthetic perfumes, colognes, and aftershaves. Essential oil based scents are fine in moderation.

This session is directed towards professionals including medical doctors, chiropractors, naturopaths, osteopaths, dentists, physician assistants, nurses, and pharmacists who practice integrative medicine or who support their patients' use of complementary medicine. If you are not able to attend the session designated for your particular professional group, you are welcome to attend one of the other sessions with the understanding that the presentation will be geared towards a different group of healers. More information on the individual presentations can be found at http://www.greenheartguidance.com/classes.html. 

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

This event is for those who work as mental health professionals. For other upcoming events and classes for the general public, please see http://www.greenheartguidance.com/classes.html.

Please RSVP to Elizabeth using the form below or on Facebook as space is limited. Light refreshments will be served including vegan and gluten free options. Please bring your non-alcoholic beverage of choice with you.

As a courtesy to those attending who are sensitive to fragrances, please refrain from wearing synthetic perfumes, colognes, and aftershaves. Essential oil based scents are fine in moderation.

Monday, June 29, 2015 
7:00 PM to 8:30 PM  
Old Quarry Branch  
7051 Village Center Dr., 78731 

Please join Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., of Green Heart Guidance, LLC, to learn more about how she can assist you and your clients in their quest for emotional, physical and spiritual health. Through her skills as an intuitive, Dr. Galen contacts higher powers to help pinpoint deeper, unresolved issues for clients. Once these issues are released from the body, physical and emotional healing can happen in ways that were previously impossible. Dr. Galen will also relate how her intuitive gifts helped her fight a seemingly hopeless 12 year battle with late disseminated Lyme disease because of the emotional and spiritual traumas that were preventing her immune system from functioning healthily.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Most people who ask for advice from others have already resolved to act as it pleases them. ~Khalil Gibran

If we perpetually seek some outer approval for our actions, we will never consciously walk our own road. ~Caitlin Matthews, “The Familiar Road,” The Celtic Spirit

All the advice in the world will never help you until you help yourself. ~Fred Van Amburgh

One of the more frustrating things for me to encounter in clients and in the world at large are people who seek my help repeatedly but who really don't want any advice. What they are primarily searching for in a miracle solution that requires no effort on their part; they also want attention. A friend who is a therapist has dubbed this phenomenon “help rejecting complainers.” That term sums up the issue rather concisely.

With clients, it’s not as frequent of an issue: they’re paying me, so it’s their own money they are wasting, and most people are aware of that. Because of my sensitivity to this issue, though, I will be politely blunt with a client if they’re not applying themselves enough for us to make progress. I don’t force clients to book on a particular schedule for follow up appointments. They can come back whenever they feel they are ready to move forward. However, if they are seeking to get me to do all their work without applying themselves at all, then I ask that they not book further appointments until they’ve worked on their “homework” a bit more. A big part of what I do is help people to learn to listen to their intuition and help themselves. It’s not an overnight process, but most people will move forward at a pace that is appropriate for them. Without following through on any of the suggestions I provide for their issues or on intuition of their own, though, the client can't usually move forward in a positive direction. 

I have run into this situation numerous times in the world at large as well. Prior to starting my business, there were several women in one of my internet groups who would regularly approach me for free advice about issues in their lives, often related to their physical health. These women have very legitimate health issues, and I believe them entirely about those health struggles. However, a very predictable pattern arose with these women: they would seek my help, I would send them detailed email messages, and then they would ignore everything I said. Sometime later, they would email me again letting know me what they had done. Inevitably their independent decisions would cause issues for them, so then they wanted me to not only fix the subsequent problems, but they would ask me for new advice to fix the original problem. However, my answers wouldn’t change. Just because they didn’t like the advice I had given them the first time doesn't mean the answer would magically have changed over the few months or by asking again. In this case, it truly feels like a waste of my time and energy to help.

In particular, there are several women in the group whom I suspect may have a variation of Münchausen syndrome by proxy, a condition where parents, usually mothers, create illnesses in their children to gain attention. In the case of the women I am acquainted with, none of them intentionally harm themselves or their children to my knowledge; I would be morally obligated to report them to child protective services if I thought that was the case. These women don’t consciously want the health problems that are making their lives a mess, yet at the same time, the mothers thrive on the attention they can obtain from the health struggles that they and their children face. They often turn to me and others seeking advice in order to get attention. In one case, the mother asked me questions for which I knew she already knew the answers. Having grown up with a narcissistic mother who behaved in this way, I also am aware of this pattern from personal experience.

At times like these, my willingness to help wears thin rather quickly. One of the life lessons I had to learn around this was in regard to setting boundaries. I am an empath and an intuitive; I’m also an INFJ. For most who fit in these categories, we want to help others. It’s part of our nature, so much so, that unless we set boundaries, we may be taken advantage of or abused. As a result, I’ve learned that there are times when I just have to say no. As much as I want to help others, I’m not willing to let them overtask my generosity. Thus, I no longer wrote long emails to help these attention seekers, instead substituting very brief responses. When I stopped giving them the attention they wanted, these women no longer felt a need to frequently ask me for help, especially once I mention that I now have a business where I charge people who need large amounts of my time. (I do still regularly answer short questions for free for established clients, friends, and community members.)

All practitioners experience this phenomenon to an extent with certain clients, though it’s definitely not the most common client scenario. Those who are paying for help generally do want to heal. However, some people are attention seekers, and they will try to get attention from whomever they can, even if it means paying for it. When they are willing, these people can be helped to find the attention they seek through healthier means by working on their minds and spirits while also healing their bodies. However, the choice to heal is one that only an individual can make. No one can successfully force healing or change on another. As quoted above, "All the advice in the world will never help you until you help yourself."

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

(Please note that these recommendations are not paid for or compensated by the companies mentioned in any way. They are simply my personal recommendations of what we use in my household.)

Until one has to deal with the pain of arthritis or a similar restriction in one’s hands, one doesn’t realize how much we depend on them for basic tasks. Lyme has unfortunately created pain in my hands that is termed “Lyme arthritis”; many who have Lyme but don't realize it are misdiagnosed with arthritis. Recently I was wishing my children were at my house that day because ironically I needed help opening a childproof medicine cap that my hands were too pained to open that day. However, it goes beyond the obvious difficulties of opening jars and bottles, fastening buttons, or negotiating jewelry clasps. There are days when I struggle with many tasks that most people don’t even think twice about tackling.

One such issue, superficial though it may be, is the issue of dry skin on rough heels. Like many in this part of the world, I wear sandals the majority of the year. This leaves my heels open to exposure, beating them up quite a bit. A few years ago, a few women in my wider social circle highly recommended the PedEgg as better than any pumice stone they’d ever used. I bought one and had to agree: The PedEgg does work much better than a pumice stone. However, I found it very painful to hold and use for the amount of time that was necessary to begin working on the skin on my heels. This is something most people wouldn't have to worry about.

Then, a few weeks ago, I was on Amazon looking for something else, and Amazon suggested the Amopé Pedi Perfect electronic pedicure foot file. It was an “as seen on tv” product and certainly seemed too good to be true. However, tired of being able to scratch up my opposing leg accidentally with my heels during the night while I was sleeping, I decided to give it a try. Despite my reservations, the Pedi Perfect actually turned out to be a purchase that was well worth the $30 investment. The file works amazingly well, smoothing off incredibly rough dead skin with very little effort on the part of the user. The handle on it is wide enough to make for a comfortable grip for my weakened hands. The device requires very little pressure to be effective; too much pressure actually renders the Pedi Perfect useless. The only complaint I have about it is that it there is no device for collecting the skin dust which flies off in all directions including becoming an inhalation risk. I’d recommend using the Pedi Perfect over the bathtub or other similar collection area.

A popular saying claims that it’s the little things that make us happy. I have to agree that the Pedi Perfect is one of those little things which has made my life happier in a miniscule way. A task that was previously too challenging for me to handle is now easy and painless to perform. Sometimes technology can really make life a little easier!

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Synchronicity plays out in our lives in interesting ways that we sometimes don’t understand or expect. We also sometimes become the channel and voice for higher powers when we don’t realize it. For me, my most recent experience of this happened on Mother’s Day.

In the past few months, I’ve become an herbal tea addict. Up until this point in my life, I wasn’t a fan, but something shifted in my body recently that not only do I like herbal teas, but I crave them. So when my kids went on vacation for spring break, I asked them to bring me back a tea mug from the Butterfly House for Mother’s Day if they saw something there that grabbed their attention. I was envisioning a mug with butterflies on it.

Two months passed, and on the day before Mother’s Day, my daughter asked me what my favorite animal was. I told her that my lifelong spirit animal is an elephant, but that I’ve been feeling attracted to turtles lately. This was a slip of the tongue: I had actually meant to say frogs. However, it was too late to take back what I had said as my daughter had replied, “Good!” I had no idea what she meant.

The next morning, I was informed that I wanted to drink hot tea for breakfast but was permitted to select a flavor. My kids brought me a cup of one of my favorites, Happy Heart tea, in my new mug. Looking at the exterior of the mug, it was incredibly simple and plain, though it had a pretty handle with polka dots and was larger than the average mug. I opened a card from one of my sons that had two scuba diving turtles on it; above them was a pirate turtle looking over with confusion. My daughter drew me a beautiful illustration of a turtle which I gave her a frame to put it in so we could hang it on the wall. And then, once my tea had cooled a bit, I went to take a sip and discovered two turtles in the bottom of my mug staring back at me.

I really had no clue that the kids had gotten me a turtle mug. The synchronicity of my slip of the tongue seems too uncanny to be just a coincidence. The spiritual meaning of turtle also is incredibly appropriate for me at this juncture in my life, so I am taking this as a sign from above to integrate the lessons of the turtle into my spiritual work. I’m grateful for the message that comes with a reminder each time I use my new mug.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

When my ex-husband and I were separated but not yet divorced, the date of our wedding anniversary became problematic for me. It wasn’t our anniversary any more in spiritual terms: We’d cut the ties between us and knew that we weren’t going to stay married. Yet in another sense, it was still our anniversary, and it always will be. We got married on May 28th, and that would never change. It was a very special date in my life for a long time.

When I brought this issue to my friends on Facebook, a powerful discussion came forth. What they helped me realize is that there were things from our former relationship that were still worth celebrating, most importantly, our three living children whom we continue to raise together. We share custody equally along with making joint medical, education, and other important decisions about our children. My ex-husband and I still very much have a relationship that centers around our children, one that legally will continue for another 6+ years and probably beyond.

In light of our co-parenting relationship, my friends dubbed May 28th “Co-Parenting Day,” a far more positive statement than “our former anniversary.” Each year on this day, rather than mourning what used to be between us, I celebrate the children we have raised successfully first as a couple and then as divorced individuals. I am eternally grateful to my friends for helping me create this new celebration, one that reminds me of the good things that came from and continue to come from my partnership with my ex-husband.

Happy Co-Parenting Day!

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

I’ve had several people ask about what Chris Harrison said at the book signing I attended last week on May 20, 2015 at the Arboretum Barnes and Noble in Austin. Since I’d typed up a very long email for my Bachelor/ette watching buddy in New York the day after the event, I’ve reworked that e-mail into a ridiculously long blog post. Please take into account that I was not taking notes or recording anything during the evening, so this is my memory of what was said. While I wrote it down within 24 hours of the event, I’m sure this is not perfect. I am positive that much of the content is not in the actual order it was presented. However, if I misquoted or misremembered something, the error is mine, and I apologize to those who were posing the questions and to Chris Harrison who was answering them. I have interjected some of my personal observations; these are mine alone. Harrison speaks with a great sense of humor and jokes around quite a bit which gave the evening a very light-hearted feel. I don’t know that I can easily convey his humor, but I will try to make it clear when he was obviously joking with the audience.

As he began speaking about his new book, The Perfect Letter, Chris Harrison seemed nervous to me, something I found surprising for a man who is certainly no stranger to public limelight. After a few minutes, though, he found his rhythm, and by the time he moved on to the question and answer section of the evening about ten minutes later, he was totally at ease and enjoying the evening.

Chris Harrison said that the character of Leigh in his book is based on no one woman; she is a conglomeration of a lot of women in his life including some of the bachelorettes. The love triangle in the book was inspired partially by Andi Dorfman because he feels like she truly loved two different men, and he feels like we have the capacity to love more than one person at once. He didn't endorse polyamory or explore ideas along those lines, but it felt like Harrison was one step away from being able to expand onto that concept. 

Harrison said that the lead male character of Jake in the novel was NOT named after Jake Pavelka. He just thought that Jake made a good Texas country boy name.

When explaining why he chose to write a romance, he said people want him to write a Bachelor tell-all which he could definitely do because he has stories that would make heads spin. However, Harrison doesn't want to burn bridges until the show is over and even then he's not sure he wants to do it. He also doesn't want to write a dating book because he doesn't feel like an expert on that. Harrison said he's divorced, so that definitely means he doesn't have it all figured out. He also said at one point he is NOT a matchmaker. He really identified more as a show's producer than as the host as he was speaking.

Returning to the topic of the romance novel, he said his now ex-wife was a big Nicholas Sparks fan, and so he's read The Bible (aka The Notebook) and others of Sparks’ works. Harrison has spent time socializing and talking with Sparks as well. He really was inspired by Sparks and his great books. Chris Harrison did not like 50 Shades of Grey and described those as "sex scenes, not love scenes"; he wanted to write something tamer but yet more adventurous than Sparks in the romance/sex department. When he was writing love scenes, he'd send them to a few trusted females and ask them for suggestions and opinions. He said he promised he wasn't sexting them! The women would send back their opinions including issues around various word choices. Harrison wanted it to be clear that he had not written the love scenes in a vacuum.

He said that he was raised in Dallas and had an uncle in Austin, so he often visited here as a child. (His cousin Daniel walked in a few minutes after Harrison began speaking and Harrison pointed him out; Harrison also paused and said "Oh, hey Karen" at one point to another woman who was there.) He used to go hunting and fishing in the Hill Country, the setting for his novel. Harrison definitely identifies as a Texas boy. He always liked Austin because it's just different than the rest of Texas. He said he's always known his first book would be set here.  

With regard to future books, Harrison said he plans to write future books that will be set in the places he's been blessed to travel with The Bachelor. His sense of gratitude around his blessings and what his work on The Bachelor/ette has allowed him to experience was really palpable. He comes across as a truly nice guy who understands how blessed his life has been. He also said that he had a wonderful marriage when he was recounting the list of his blessings.

Harrison wants a movie version of The Perfect Letter and told the audience to start thinking about who should be cast.

As the evening’s question and answer section began, a woman asked, “Have you begun dating again?” Harrison jokingly said something along the lines of, “Thanks for jumping right in with my personal life!” but then he went on to say yes, he has started dating. I thought this was public knowledge, but I guess not everyone is up-to-date or this woman wanted a more specific answer as to a current woman in his life. However, Chris Harrison said that in the words of someone he knows, he is “tragically undateable” because of his schedule. I think most of the women in the audience disagreed! I would suspect the median age of the audience was 40 (Harrison is 42), and the range of ages of most of the women was 15 to 55. There were only a few men there: a couple of teen boys who must have been brought by their mother and a few husbands. I think the only single guy there was an employee at the store. As I enjoyed the people watching opportunity, I was thinking to myself, “The single guys of Austin don’t realize what a prime opportunity they missed here… a captive audience of women who are fans of romance and love!” Anyway, Chris Harrison joked that he had he had a window of about three months in the fall when he might be able to date, but between traveling to Mexico in June to film The Bachelor in Paradise and then moving to Connecticut to film Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? in September, plus his book tour and all the other travel The Bachelor requires, he just doesn’t have a life conducive to dating.

With regard to this season of The Bachelorette, Harrison said it was a knock-down fight about Britt versus Kaitlyn amongst all those involved. Harrison reminded the audience that 10 years ago they'd done the two bachelors thing which included Byron Velvick; then Harrison then launched into a brief side remark about how Velvick is down the road in San Antonio, and Harrison had recently talked to him. Returning to the issue of having two bachelorettes at the start of this season, Harrison said that the producers swore they’d never do again. He said that during the meeting when Mike Fleiss decided to do the two bachelorettes, he reminded Fleiss of the vow and was duly ignored. Harrison said it shows how much power he doesn't have as a producer!

Someone queried something about the length of the first episode this season; because the audience members were not using microphones and Harrison wasn’t repeating their questions, I didn’t hear the exact inquiry. He said that this cocktail party this week was basically two in one and so it lasted way too long. He explained how first they were having a cocktail party for the men to decide on the women; the second party was for Kaitlyn to decide on the first 15 men. Harrison said there was nothing sexy about it by the end. He said normally the sun is coming up, but it was full on breakfast time by the time they got done the first week of this season. He said they didn't get home until 8-9 in the morning. Harrison also described a bit what was going on behind the scenes during that extra-long cocktail party. He said that the "control room" is in the three car detached garage. They've got a couch in there, and he and another producer often crash on it. He said he used to try to stay awake all night, but no more. Now some poor kid has to fearfully poke him and whisper, "Mr. Harrison?" to try to get him to wake up. As a tag-on question to this one, someone asked if the night is open bar. Harrison confirmed that the contestants can have anything they want all night long in regards to alcohol.

An audience member asked who should play Harrison in a movie about his life. Another audience member joked it should be Matthew McConnaughey, an Austin local and favorite. Chris Harrison then started talking about his relationship with McConnaughey; they were involved in two triathlons together. I think he called McConnaughey an interesting guy. When Harrison got back to the actual question, he jokingly suggested Denzel Washington would be great. Someone else in the audience suggested Paul Rudd, and Chris Harrison didn't seem to know what to make of that.

A woman asked what they needed to do to get Chris Harrison to show up at their Bachelor watching party in Fort Worth. He said bbq and Shiner Bock are pretty good lures. He said that he loves LA and there is great food there, but nothing to compare to the Tex-Mex and BBQ in Texas.

Someone asked if the contestants ever eat the food that just sits in front of them on plates. Harrison laughed and said he gets that question a lot, and yes, they eat some, but that watching people eat is really boring. He said once the contestants have eaten, there are usually a lot of leftovers so he just eats those. :) He views a lot of the show through the lens of a producer and what will draw in an audience. In regards to editing and things we don’t see, Harrison said that the contestants do discuss movies and politics and "normal" things, too, but it's really boring watching two people discuss a movie they've recently seen.

Someone asked if Harrison preferred The Bachelor or The Bachelorette, and he said the former. He said that was where it all started, so The Bachelor is kind of his baby. He also said women make better tv because of, no offense meant, the drama they create when living together whereas guys work it out or slug it out and then five minutes later will be drinking a beer together.

Chris Harrison said that super-drunk contestant Ryan on Monday was actually bad tv. The producers want stories when they cast people, things that they can draw out across the season. Ryan was just pathetic, and it was over before it began. In contrast, he said Kelsey was gold. She had the amazingly tragic (or in her words, amazing) story, but the way things turned out on screen was the kind of thing that one can't predict but that producers are utterly grateful for.

Someone asked how much say the contestants have in casting, and he said virtually none. He said that the show does casting calls and actually keep files. Harrison was extremely complimentary of the casting department, though I don’t remember the names he mentioned. Sometimes the casting staff will call someone three years later to see if someone is still single because they think that person would be good for whomever is the current star. Harrison said that they have 30 women up until that very night of the first cocktail party, and that it is a battle between producers as to which 25 make it on the show. Each producer may have visited ten of the women at their homes, and so they'll have bias towards whom they really want on the show.

Though it’s been mentioned many times before, someone suggested Harrison should be the next bachelor. He said that he would make a terrible bachelor because he's not the type of guy to take off his shirt in a hot tub with 25 women. He said that you have to be willing to put it all out there, and he's not that kind of person. Harrison said it's why they turn down some great people, because they just don't have the right personality to do it.

Another audience member asked if the producers know how "crazy" the contestants are before signing them on, and he said no. He said that something we need to face as a society is that most of us are crazy. He said if they locked the doors, 50% of the people in the room, if not more, would turn out to be crazy. It's just a fact of life.

Harrison referred to the “women,” not the “girls,” throughout his presentation which I appreciated a lot.

The next questioner asked if Ashley S. from last season would be in Mexico for The Bachelor in Paradise. He responded, "God, I hope so! If she's not going, I'm not going either." He said Ashley is really great and is on the joke until she's not. He said that he's heard (wink, wink) that she's supposed to be there, but with her you never know until she actually shows up. She might forget or go to Mesa Verde. 

Someone asked about the legacy issue: it seems like you have to have been on the show to be on the show. Chris Harrison said that this was partially just the battle of getting an audience. If they announce that Susan, an accountant from NY, is the next bachelorette, no one cares one way or the other, but if they announce it's Britt, people will say, "OMG. I hate her so much. She's so fake." He said that even if people hate the person they choose, that's good, because they care and are engaged and will watch. It's half the battle. [I actually disagree with Harrison on that idea. I disliked Juan Pablo so much that I refused to watch his season. It turns out I was right! However, Harrison is probably right that most fans won’t tune out just because they don’t like the star of the show.]

Another questioner asked if the producers would consider doing an all-star season of The Bachelor or Bachelorette. Harrison felt that was unlikely because it would detract from the success of the established show and what it is. He said the closest they came was with Jesse Palmer who made his Bachelor appearance into a sports casting career (whereas Chris Harrison had made his sportscaster career into The Bachelor). Harrison said that he has a lot of athletes who do approach him about wanting to be on the show, but what they want is to date 25 women at once. When he clarifies that they have to fall in love with and marry one, suddenly the athletes aren't interested any more.

According to Harrison, it is now ok for celebrities to “come out” as liking Bachelor now since they’re established. He named Jennifer Aniston and several others. Someone asked what Chris Harrison things about Jimmy Kimmel’s predictions, and Chris said he loves them. He also related that Jimmy Kimmel does not want spoilers. Chris Harrison also thought Jimmy Kimmel was awesome last season because Kimmel got to be Harrison’s alter ego and say all the things he wishes he could say.

A woman asked asked how they pick the date locations. I thought she meant more the activities on the dates, but Harrison interpreted the question to mean the locations in a global sense. He says that they now get approached by tourism boards from around the world. The countries can spend $100K for a short 30 second commercial in the US that no one will watch, or they can spend the same amount on the show and get a two hour high-def sexy commercial for their country. Harrison said that they went to Ireland this season, and that when you watch it, you'll believe it never rains in Ireland because of how they are editing it, but he assured the audience that it very much does rain in Ireland. He said they make Ireland look really sexy. So the producers respond to offers now as to how they select travel locations. However, Trista gives him all kinds of trouble still about how her exotic trip was to Seattle.

Harrison said that he brings his kids on a lot of the trips, and the family is lucky that the kids' teachers agree that travel is one of the best ways to learn. His son is 13 and in 7th grade; his daughter is 11. He said they've traveled more in their lives than he did in the first 30 years of his. Harrison said that when the show goes to the various foreign destinations, they hire locals to work on the show, and he usually befriends one of the locals and gets them to show him the town so he can see it in as non-touristy of a way possible. He said he has lots of down time on the trips, and he takes advantage of it to see what he can.

Someone asked him if he ever clues in the bachelor/ette about problems going on with the contestants or if he just keeps quiet. Harrison said that he's learned as a parent and as the host that if he tells someone not to do something, they'll do it. If he tells his kids not to touch something, the first thing they’ll try to do is grab it. So while he might probe around and try to convince a contestant to talk to him about what they see in the (troublesome) person, he knows that it's part of the bachelor/ette’s life experience to figure it out. He also said there's no accounting for that spark that happens between people when it sometimes makes no sense to an outsider.

Someone asked about the minority casting issue with regard to the show: the fact that minorities are severely underrepresented. I thought Harrison answered this well. He said that it was a problem that they'd created and that they need to fix. He said that it's a problem across Hollywood. Harrison said that it is also reflected in casting calls: minorities don't see themselves on television, so they don't think they can be. When The Bachelor/ette holds the open calls, they only have 5-10% minority turnout, a far cry from the representative portion of the population. From there, the applicants have to pass through a series of hurdles including interviews and a blood test, so that process ends up screening out more people. He said they'd like to have a minority bachelor/ette, but they don't want to just pick a token minority who won't be a good star. Harrison said that a lot of people wanted Marquel to be the bachelor, but there was no way because Marquel had major issues with women and didn't get along with them very well. Harrison thought that was the main qualification for the job! So the producers are looking for the right person, but that person hasn't shown up yet.

At some point during the evening, Harrison mentioned that he said he is still friends with a bunch of the show participants, especially older cast members who are more his age. Throughout his various answers, he'd talk about the people he's still in touch with including Trista and Brad Womack who lives in Austin. He said he got Ashley S. to work a benefit with him in L.A. recently. He does a lot of charity events, especially golf ones from what he mentioned. Harrison also said he was going out to dinner with Brad Womack. When someone asked him where, he jokingly said, "Oh, you know. KFC." I thought that was a great way to diffuse a potentially invasive question with humor.

Someone said something about Juan Pablo (again, hard to understand due to the lack of audience microphones), and Harrison replied, "Ah, my buddy Juan Pablo. Surprisingly, I haven't talked to him lately." Harrison said that three weeks into the show, he knew the season was over and they should pack up and go home. He said that Juan Pablo is a control freak who couldn't let go and experience it. He said that Sean had to go through the experience of letting go andKaitlyn did, too. He said they have to learn the lesson that the more you cling, the less control you end up having.

He said Catherine and Sean really are in love. He said as far as he knew as of earlier that day, Chris and Whitney were still together, though if someone had heard otherwise, it would be news to him. Chris Harrison was glad that Dancing with the Stars was over so that they could leave L.A., go back to Iowa, and start living life.

Harrison said that most audience members can't grasp the stress of the show. They think they wouldn't become a crying mess like so many people on the show, but Chris Harrison said it's totally different when you're there because you don't have your cell to call your mom, you can't do your normal stress relief activities, and you get faced to actually force your raw emotion, and the emotion is RAW. He said it's really hard.  

Someone asked him if he had opinions about people who post spoilers. Harrison said that back in the day when they started The Bachelor, the internet wasn't what it is now with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, blogs, etc. Now it is an issue. When they hold dates in public, people will see, and they will post. They try to embrace it as much as they can by inviting people to certain dates. Harrison said that the bottom line is that there are mean people out there, and mean people suck. He said that if those people put half as much effort into not sucking instead of waking up each morning and asking "How can I make the world suck today?", then life would be so much better. He doesn't like the spoilers that ruin the final episode, but they can't stop them completely because if two people know things in the modern age, it's not a secret any more.

A young woman who didn’t fit the stereotypical look for bachelorettes jokingly asked why he hadn't replied to her tweet asking to be the bachelorette. Harrison tactfully avoided a direct reply and said that she had a leg up towards becoming a bachelorette because she was from Texas and everyone knows that Texas is the hotbed of controversy half the time.

During the entire evening, the only question I didn't appreciate how Chris Harrison answered was when a man asked when they would do a show with some "normal people.” There was a murmur rumbling through the audience as though some couldn't believe he asked that; I’m not sure if it was his poor phrasing or the idea in the first place that caused the widespread dismay. The audience member quickly clarified, “Like the geeks, the nerds, the people who don't look as great with their shirts off.” There was more chattering and murmuring at that point, and someone near him must have said something to him (but he was behind the bookcase I was leaning against so I couldn’t see the people involved), so he proclaimed at that point, "No, no. I'm married! I'm just asking." Chris Harrison responded curtly that tv is a visual medium, and that when they do the radio version of the show, they'll consider it. Despite the personal questions earlier in the evening, this was the only time I felt like Harrison got bristly with a questioner. The topic clearly generated some deep feelings in him. Whether those feelings are because he agrees with the audience member about wanting some more average people on the show or if it’s because he feels persecuted by fans about this topic on a regular basis, I couldn’t tell. Either way, it was obvious that this was a topic Harrison didn’t want to have to approach.

As the final question, an audience member asked him how he has stayed grounded and if he has a strong faith that makes him the way he is. Harrison said that he comes from a strong family with seven grandkids (including him as the youngest) and 13 great-grandkids. He said that his 99 year old grandmother is the matriarch of the family and is still alive and kicking. He said she's a very strong woman. Harrison briefly mentioned his grandfather but I didn't quite hear what he said (due to the store’s staff talking really loudly near me). He said that when his book came out earlier this week, he realized that he wasn't curing cancer or anything, but his family didn't take much note. (I heard a lot of deep pain in these comments. Like many of us, Harrison jokes about his family’s response, but things like this can be very difficult. I understand that one from a lot of personal experience!)

Harrison followed up by saying he does believe in God, but he really skirted away from the discussion of spirituality for some reason. I can understand how working on a show with a highly Christian-based contestant population, he might want to keep his personal beliefs private if they don’t align, or he might just be the kind of person who prefers not to talk about his spiritual beliefs.

From there, Harrison did say that there is one thing he can't tolerate, and it's lying. He tells every group of contestants that if they are lying, and some of them are, possibly about a boyfriend or girlfriend back home, some about being there for the wrong reasons, then he will find them out. He reminds them that he has a bigger podium than they do, and he will not put up with it. He will call them out on it, and they will regret it. So just don't lie to him. Harrison said Ryan was a great example on the season premiere of someone who was there for the wrong reasons, but he didn't have to call Ryan out on it because Ryan did such a great job on his own. Based on these comments, I took it as a huge compliment when Harrisontweeted that he liked the honesty in the book review I wrote about The Perfect Letter.

As I mentioned previously, I really enjoyed the evening and getting to learn more about Harrison, his book, and The Bachelor/ette. I felt like I walked away with a better understanding of many topics I was curious about.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Language is important in our society. The words we use convey great meaning and emotion, and they can hurt deeply if they are loaded with meaning. Our society even labels some words as “bad” because their connotations are so strong, though words themselves are not inherently bad. It’s the meanings we attach to the words that makes them kind or less so.

One of the things that makes me grimace when watching both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is the language used to describe the contestants. The males involved with the shows are referred to as “men.” However, the female participants are almost always referred to as “the girls.” On rare occasion, they sometimes are referred to as ladies. There’s a great disparity in these chosen words. The word man represents a grown male; the parallel term is woman. The word boy represents an immature male, usually a teenager or less; the parallel term in this situation is girl representing an immature female. However, when language is used on The Bachelor/ette, parallel terms aren’t used. Instead, we repeatedly hear “men” paired with “girls.”

I find this linguistic disparity discouraging and sexist. It seems to be putting down the women and making them less mature and capable than the men. Language like this reveals our latent cultural attitudes and an undermining belief in the equality of the sexes. However, many folks would tell me that this is no big deal. After all, it’s “just” a reality show, but everyone knows that reality shows aren’t all that real. Yet the language used by the show is reflective of a greater issue in our culture.

The traditions on The Bachelor/ette are well entrenched, and fans are liable to revolt if changes are made that are perceived as too drastic from the norm. However, I wish that those on the show and those producing it would make an effort to make sure the language used reflects the equality between the sexes that should exist in our world.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

I am one of those people who had recurring nightmares as a child. One of them was induced by the dinosaur scene in Fantasia, one of the first movies I saw in 1977 at the age of 3; I figured this out in high school during science class when a film showed a clip from Fantasia that exactly resembled my dreams. I still can’t watch that video clip without disturbing emotions coursing through my body. Until recently, I never understood what the other recurring childhood dream was actually about or where it came from, but it was terrifying for me. I’m not sure how often I would have it as a child or even when I stopped having it, but decades later, I still remember it in vivid and nauseating detail. 

Over the past few years, I’ve learned a great deal about my past life in Europe that ended during World War II. My spirit guides have given me the information slowly, piece by piece, during many different meditation and bodywork sessions. I have an enormous amount of information on that life, perhaps because it was so recent and so powerful, but more likely because I have had so much healing work to do around it. What has become very obvious to me over the years as I worked through the issues that have come up is that most of my current life could be described as PTSD from my last life. So many of the decisions I’ve made or the fears I’ve had are direct results of what happened then.

The basics of what I know is that I was born around 1920 as a woman to lower class parents who lived somewhere in rural England; I’m not sure where exactly. I had a sister who was beloved to me and a grandmother whom I was very close to, but I don’t know much about other family members aside from some basics about my parents. When I was a young teenager, I left school against my wishes to go into service at the home of a local minor nobility. This man was an alcoholic and a generally miserable controlling person. He had a daughter whom he’d sired at 20 with the family’s secretary; the daughter was five years older than me. As he aged, he was getting much more desperate for a male heir. Thus, when he forced me to have sex with him and I got pregnant, he actually married me despite the 25 year age difference and my lower class origins. Much to his dismay, I miscarried midway through the pregnancy, possibly due to the chlamydia that he had given me. Despite his best efforts, I did not become pregnant again, and I assumed I was sterile.

From there, my life became crazier than what one would normally expect for a wife of that class and era. I began having sex with a neighbor; my husband was not pleased about the affair but turned a blind eye because our distaste for each other was so great at that point. I also had an affair with the step-daughter metioned above. When World War II began, I jumped at the chance for adventure and escape from my husband, and I became a British spy who was sent abroad. I slept my way across Europe: I’ve seen at least four men whom I was sexually involved with but I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more. The sexual activity was for both business and pleasure. One of those affairs resulted in a pregnancy which I had illegally terminated.

For a long time I questioned how I could have gone from my simple English origins to being a spy in Germany. It just didn’t make sense to me. However, I eventually was shown that my father was a German Jewish immigrant to England; my mother was a native and an Anglican. I was raised bilingual. There were other German-speaking Jews in our community as well. Thus, I was someone who would have been optimal to serve the British government best in the war: A woman who could pass as a native German without arousing suspicion. I worked my way through France to Germany, though I’m not sure how long I was actually in France. It may have been just one fateful train ride (and romantic hookup). In Germany, I was working at a military factory as part of my spy work, but I was also secretly doing relief work for a Jewish refugee camp for immigrants from Eastern Europe.

Sometime last year, I finally made the connection between my childhood recurring dream in this life and my past life in Germany during World War II. On the day when I finally understood what the dream was about, I had a complete and total emotional meltdown. I called my therapist for an emergency phone session; in her words, I was confronting true evil in its darkest sense. As I talked to her on the phone while pacing the back porch, green dragonflies were literally circling around me, an unusual occurrence in my yard. Symbolically, dragonflies are “connected to the symbolism of change and light.” Their green color related to my heart chakra, indicating the change in my energy relating to love and compassion. In retrospect, the symbolism couldn’t have been any more powerful.

Most of us were taught the horror stories of what happened to Jews and others in the concentration camps in Germany, but the worst of it didn’t make it into the history books. The things I saw during the war and then in my recurring dreams in this life were so horrific that I don’t discuss them with most people (including here on the blog) because they would be traumatizing for most highly sensitive people, empaths or those who had family members who were lost or killed during those terrible years. However, once I had calmed down many weeks later, I consulted one of of the professors who had been on my dissertation committee and who has published a book on the concentration camps. He confirmed for me that what I had seen was highly suspected and had been hinted at in cultural artifacts. It’s just not something that has ever been widely published.

My soul was deeply traumatized by what I witnessed and participated in during World War II. There are no words to express it all. This created the spiritual root for the Lyme disease and many other traumas I endured during my current life. I truly believed at the soul level that I deserved to suffer terribly for my part in the war even though I was acting as a spy when I took the actions I did. When I first began having major health problems in 2003 and 2004, I used to tell people, “I must have been a Nazi in a past life to deserve this kind of suffering.” My subconscious knew what was going on at a soul level.

The past few months have involved a great deal of work reprogramming my body to undo the damage from World War II that I brought into this life. The stored emotions, entities, and pain had to be released so that I can heal completely. That release has involved a great deal of physical and emotional pain as I addressed the issues, let them surface, and then removed them from my body, often with the help of the various healers on my team.

Last Monday, we hit an apex of healing. In what seems absolutely unimaginable and unrealistic, my body manifest an actual lump in my abdomen in the area of my liver that was a result of one of the bullets that killed me somewhere around 1941. While the bullet from the past life was not literally there, the lump was real. Two different healers were able to palpate it and sense the pain from it. Using several crystals and flower essences as well as energy work, we were able to dissolve that large lump. The whole situation was amazing to experience, yet I am so grateful to have that energetic bullet gone. My healing is not yet over; we continue to clean out whatever comes up. I am not sure how much more there is to go, but removing that bullet was key to my healing. 

I have been given the names of my husband and me in that life, and someday I hope to be able to go to Britain and do research to find more information though I suspect a great deal of it is still classified. I also may go back to Germany someday to the city where I was stationed and attempt to find complete peace with what happened there. My body was never returned to England, but I suspect it was put in an unmarked grave. I also doubt there are any remnants of the other activities I was involved in during my past life, but I still would like to see and experience the area again, this time under the banner of compassion, healing and peace.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

I admit that if it weren’t for Chris Harrison’s connection to The Bachelor/ette, I wouldn’t have put his first novel on my reading list. In fact, if I hadn’t gone tothe book signing last week, I probably would not have bought the novel at all. Instead I would just have waited to borrow it from the local library once it finally became available there in digital format. Yet in spite of those facts, I’m grateful I did purchase The Perfect Letter because the book captivated me fairly quickly: I ended up reading it all on one rainy book-reading type of Saturday, not wanting to put it down to deal with any of the pesky necessities of life that arose. Harrison’s writing style is highly descriptive and emotionally gripping. While the story is one that describes lives lived outside of the ordinary, the realism of the relationships between the characters makes the novel seem almost possible. Harrison definitely did not write a book that was just a superficial romance but instead gets deeply involved with the emotions and psychological flaws of his characters. I was impressed with how often Harrison chose words that reflect the impact of our emotions onour bodies such as the “stone of guilt around her neck had become a weight so permanent it left her crippled“ or the “sudden feeling of grief squeezed her, took her breath away” (130, 201).

When I bought this book, I worried that this might be the stereotypical romance novel: the gorgeous woman with the perfect life including the Harvard degree, the amazing career and the dream New York apartment dates the perfect but boring man and wants something more. Yet as I read the first love scene, such as it was, I felt that internal pang that occurs when I read something that feels all too real in relation to what I have experienced in my life. This “perfect” relationship of Leigh Merrill with Joseph Middlebury was anything but. From only a few pages into the novel, Joseph appears to use Leigh for the attention she can give him and the ways in which she can meet his needs. Her desires take a backseat in the relationship. While there was love in the relationship between Leigh and Joseph, there also were a lot of deep and problematic issues as well. When Leigh talks about Joseph to others, she becomes immediately defensive in that way so many of us are prone to do when we know there is truth in what others are saying to us yet we don’t want to see the reality.

Enter Jake Rhodes, a former boyfriend with whom Leigh experienced a tragedy ten years ago in the Hill Country of central Texas. When Leigh returns to the Austin area as a big city editor and keynote speaker for a writer’s conference, she and Jake reconnect out of a need to find closure with regard to their past. Jake is the opposite of Joseph in so many ways: he doesn’t have an amazing career, but he is a romantic and his love for Leigh is unconditional. Harrison slowly unfolds the story of what happened to the two when they were teens, a combination of their love story and their tragic past. As Leigh and Jake reunite after their ten year separation, their love and their passion is still as strong as ever despite the wounds that have hurt them. When a new challenge arises in their lives (aside from the obvious one of Leigh’s serious romantic involvement with Joseph), the two have to decide how to handle both their past and the future.

For having such a great verbal grasp on the fine details that can color a book, some of the situations in the book became clichéd. In trying to set the scene firmly in the Austin area, Harrison mentions bats and bluebonnets far more often than necessary. He also repeatedly sings the praises of Guero’s (Bill Clinton ate there!) though many locals will tell you that it’s overhyped nowadays. In addition, the not-so-trivial detail of birth control and sexually transmitted disease prevention falls by the wayside (just as it does on The Bachelor/ette). While I know many romance novels ignore such practicalities because they feel it takes away from the passion of the moment, in a novel with as many details as this one, the absence felt glaring to me especially as two teenagers seemingly engage repeatedly in unprotected sex with no consequences. Despite these small issues, the book is an overall strong effort that is well worth reading.

At the book signing I attended, Chris Harrison was clear that he wants this book to be made into a film; he asked the audience to start thinking about who should play the leads. I can easily see this novel being turned into a movie filmed in the Texas Hill Country and attracting an audience of men and women alike because of some of the high-paced action it contains along side the romance. I also look forward to Harrison’s future works, and I will definitely be picking them up when they release!

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

In an episode of The Carrie Diaries (1:11), Carrie Bradshaw’s boyfriend Sebastian is dealing with his narcissistic mother who sees him as her emotional dumping ground. She is the type of woman who attracts drama and then uses the emotional fallout to gain attention from others including Sebastian. After having recently dealt with one of his mother’s crises, Sebastian profoundly states, “No one wants to have to get involved in their parents’ personal lives. We want them to be parents, not people.”

As the daughter of a narcissistic mother, I agree with this statement. When I was growing up, my mother was basically friendless. I don’t ever remember her going out with the girls. At one point, she joined a non-denominational Bible study group with neighbor women, but aside from that, I don’t remember her having friends. As I became a teen, my mother eventually became closer to her youngest sister who was 11 years her junior and in a dysfunctional marriage just as my mother was. However, having that one sister to bond with didn’t really fill the needs my mother had for attention from friends. Instead, she used me as her emotional outlet. When she felt the need to talk to someone, occasionally about topics that really belonged in a therapy session with a professional, she instead made me the one who had to listen to her issues.

Sebastian is correct in saying that we want our parents to be parents, not people. We want our parents to take care of us when we are young. We don’t want to have to take care of them, especially as young children or teens. That includes not wanting to be our parents’ confidantes. It’s just not appropriate or healthy for parents to use their young children as friends or therapists. Our children need to be children, not our support systems.

So does that mean we should not let our children know how we are feeling? Absolutely not. Children do need to know that their parents have emotions and feelings. Parents are not stoic statues who can handle anything without it affecting them. Children need to know that all people, including parents, have feelings, and that it is ok to experience emotion. The fine line that parents need to be careful not to cross is making sure that they don’t share inappropriate information. It’s ok for children to know parents are upset about a break up; children don’t need to know the explicit details of the sexual affair that led to the end of the relationship. This is especially true in cases of divorce. It is very difficult and damaging for children to hear their parents speak negatively of their other parents, no matter how true the statements are.

The opposite extreme of this narcissistic point of view where a parent tells a child too much is in the parent who tells a child nothing. This is almost if not equally as dysfunctional. Children are people, albeit less mature ones. They are able to sense when something is amiss in their home. They can tell when parents are upset or happy or under stress. Many children, not understanding the reasons for their parents’ emotional states, will blame themselves for the negative vibes they pick up. This is easily prevented by simply telling children the simple truth such as “I had a bad day at work.” The children don’t need all of the gory details of the parent’s day, but they do deserve a basic understanding of why their parents are acting and feeling as they do.

The fine line for parents between telling their kids too much or too little is a difficult one to navigate. Despite children possibly wanting them to be “parents, not people,” parents are people, too. Parents experience emotions and stress. However, children are not therapists, and parents need to remember to maintain appropriate boundaries when talking with their children.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

When one struggles with major health issues, especially ones that have been as life changing as the ones I have faced courtesy of late disseminated Lyme disease, one learns to find the bitter blessings in places that one never would have previously found them. When faced with struggles and challenges, the silver lining almost always seems to be present if you can set your mind to find it. It’s that ability to see the “little” things that can make it possible to accomplish what seem like insurmountable difficulties on a daily basis. Those challenges include simple outings that most wouldn’t see as a big deal at all.

Earlier this week, my Bachelor/ette watching buddy in New York and I were alerted to a book signing with Chris Harrison, the host and one of the producers of the show, from our favorite blog on the show. The Barnes and Noble bookstore in Austin at which it was being held is only ten minutes from my house. As we messaged back and forth, my friend helped me get the enthusiasm to face the possibly insurmountable challenge of attending Wednesday night. Quite honestly, if the treatment I am undergoing right now hadn’t hit a breakthrough point on Monday, I couldn’t have gone; last week it would have been impossible. Next week it might be impossible again, but on Wednesday at around 5 pm, I realized my health was actually going to allow me to do this.

However, I’ve had false starts with many events in the past. I don’t get my hopes up until I am actually engaged in the event. I know all too well that it could all fall apart before I get there due to health-based logistical complications. Furthermore, I haven’t attended an indoor event with a large crowd of random people in a chemically saturated environment since 2004. That’s 11 years. The last time I walked in a bookstore was also probably in 2004. While I’ve been able to do much more over the past two years than I previously could, especially than in the six years that I was homebound and the two that I was almost bedbound, I still had no idea if my body was going to be able to handle it. I was worried about parking (because anyone who lives in north Austin can tell you that the parking lot at the Arboretum is weird and often overcrowded). I was concerned about too large of a fragrant crowd wearing perfumes that my body can’t tolerate, and I worried about the store itself being more than my chemical sensitivities could handle. As a result, I took my grocery list with me since Whole Foods is only a few blocks away. Then, if I had to leave without attending the book signing, I would not feel like the effort of getting dressed and heading out was a complete loss. I’ve learned from past events that this is one of the things I need to do to find a silver lining when an event falls through for me.

When I arrived at the parking lot, all of the five or six disabled spots were taken, but someone walked up to his car in one of them as I pulled up. I offered gratitude to whatever higher powers gave me the closest possible parking spot and headed in hoping that was a sign of good things to come. It was. I was able to tell from the parking lot and the noise level when I walked in the store that the crowd was not huge; at that point it was probably only 50 people though by the end of the night it was likely closer to 125. Feeling confident, I bought a copy of The Perfect Letter, and then headed to the second floor area where the signing was taking place. Here I met the first challenge of the evening: The escalators to the second floor were either broken or turned off. So I was left with a choice: Either walk to the far end of the store where the elevator is and then traverse back to the gathering area, or climb the escalators manually. Which was least taxing on my body? Since my knees weren’t in bad shape last night, I opted for climbing the escalator which my body handled.

Upon reaching the second floor balcony area, I faced the next major challenge: There were no more available chairs. It was already standing room only with about ten people mulling around. Given the pain and issues in my lower half of my body right now, standing right now for more than about five minutes is a physical impossibility for me. I approached an employee, let her know that I am disabled, and verified that it was ok to just sit on the floor. I’ve been at other events at other locations in the distant past where employees get very snippity about fire marshall rules and not sitting: SRO means literally standing. However, this employee didn’t seem to care, so I sat next to a bookcase where I could get partial back support. In retrospect, I wish I’d brought my backjack, but it’s a lesson learned for similar future events I might attend. At past points in my life, I would have been very self-conscious about the fact that I was the only person sitting on the floor, but after so many years of bodily limitation, I’ve learned to do what I need for my body and ignore any judgment, verbal or nonverbal, that comes my way.

After Chris Harrison spoke for an hour, the area was rearranged for the actual book signing which was done in order of wristband grouping. I was somewhere in the middle of the crowd, but there was no way I could stand in the line to wait. I approached the employee who was the gatekeeper for things, let her know my situation, and asked if I could go sit in a chair until it was my turn. She was quite friendly and willing to accommodate; I know she’d seen me sitting on the floor through the earlier part of the event. When my group got to the front of the line, I let her know that I was willing to wait until the end of that group if she would just call me up when it was my turn. Most mercifully, she immediately plopped me at the front of the line at that point since I’m guessing my face was starting to show my pain and fatigue levels at that point. I got my photo (above) and my book signed and headed out, walking back down the escalators.

The recovery process began when I got to my car as I had to just sit there for a few minutes and let my body decompress from the work it had just done for me. Once I got home, I began doing the things I have to do to support my liver in detoxification to ensure that I wouldn’t get a migraine or a fibromyalgia flare from the event.  By the time I headed to bed two hours later, my body was very cranky about what I had put it through, though after an hour of in ice pack on the worst pain, I was able to fall asleep. The next morning my body was very sore, but I can’t tell how much of the pain I have was from the event and how much was from the therapeutic treatments I had on Wednesday morning.

So after all that, was it worth it? Absolutely. I picked a great speaker for my return to book events. It’s not always the case that someone who is a good author or a great tv star makes an equally entertaining public speaker, but in this case, Chris Harrison is just as successful in front of a crowd as he is in front of the camera. I never know how much other people perceive of what I pick up on, but to me, it seemed as though Harrison was actually a bit nervous for the first few minutes as he began talking. By the time he switched to the question and answer part of the evening, Harrison was totally in his element. The fabulous sense of humor that we see glimpses of on The Bachelor/ette came through loud and clear as he talked extemporaneously on whatever topics the crowd quizzed him on. Harrison also maintains a grounded sense about him despite the circles he travels in. When he discusses people such as Matthew McConaughey or Nicholas Sparks, he isn’t dropping names or showing off. He’s just talking about the guys he’s spent some time with.

The evening was filled with a great deal of laughter, and I felt like I came away from it with a better understanding of the behind the scenes efforts that go into making The Bachelor/ette. I would have loved to engage with Harrison about a few of the issues I have with the show, but given that I was on the floor in the back and that I know my questions aren’t the typical ones, I just chose to enjoy others’ questions instead. I was thoroughly engaged for the entire evening. If I’d had to pay an admission price beyond the optional buying of a book, it would have still been worth it. An evening with Chris Harrison makes for fabulous entertainment!

Part of why I enjoy The Bachelor/ette so much is because of the allure of the travel. The idea of international or even domestic travel is still a fantasy in my life, so watching others enjoy their travels gives me hope for when I am able to travel as well. Even though attending this book signing might seem like a small step toward travel to most, my closest friends recognize what a huge step forward it was for me in the long journey of my recovery. As part of that slow movement forward, I find great pleasure in rediscovering the world around me that I haven’t been able to engage with for so long. I would bet money that I was the only one at the book signing who found incredible awe and pleasure in the setting. Seeing so many books on the shelves was a truly amazing sight for me, almost as though I had never walked in a bookstore before. I am so grateful for this illness-induced perspective on life that lets me find the wonder in things that most people wouldn’t think twice about. This awe for our society and the world around us is one of the things I hope that I carry away from living with chronic illness and keep with me for the rest of my life.

UPDATE 5/28/15: I sent this post to the manager at this location of Barnes and Noble who was in charge of the event. He responded quickly and politely, apologizing for the first bookseller who did not follow the proper procedure for helping the disabled; he will be addressing the issue with her so that she is fully informed for future events. He let me know that there are always additional seats held back for situations like mine so that I should not have needed to sit on the floor. He also explained that the store has wheelchairs available for helping to get customers to the second floor area, a courtesy I would not have expected. Finally, he said that the escalators are always turned off for events like this because of noise issues but that they are easily turned on and off at a moment's notice for a situation like mine. I appreciate all of this information so that any future experiences I have at that store will be much more accessible for me.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance