(Apologies in advance for an insanely long blog post. ~Elizabeth)
 
I am a huge Josh Groban fan. I’ve loved his music since I first saw one of his earliest PBS specials. When I came out of my years of silence, his was some of the first music I found myself able to tolerate. On the nights when I was going through horrible intestinal pain that would last for untold hours on end but my now ex-husband was unwilling to be there to hold my hand and support me through that hell, it was the music of Josh Groban (and others) that I played on repeat all night long to keep myself as calm and relaxed as possible. His albums are still my default when I am dealing with pain that medication and meditation cannot control.
 
I have been battling health issues for 13 years; I was all but bedbound for two of those years and homebound for six. Slowly I have been fighting my way back to health. After successfully attending an event at a local church in September, I realized that I probably could start attending live theater and concert events again. This was something that I hadn’t expected to do be able to do for another several years, and it is a huge milestone for me in my healing journey. Fortuitously, my 15 year old daughter is taking a costuming class as an elective this year, and she’s required to go to a live performance every six weeks, anything from a free one person poetry reading in a coffee shop to a Broadway musical. As I looked for options for her (and me) to attend this school year in Austin, I found that Josh Groban was coming to Austin in October and that tickets were all but sold out (two individual tickets available in different balcony sections). I was crushed. I was talking about this with one of my health practitioners who encouraged me to look on Craigslist or to just show up the night of the show to find tickets from someone who needed to sell.
 
So back in October the week before the concert, I was looking at Craigslist for tickets to see Josh Groban. I was thoroughly annoyed at the number of businesses scalping tickets, but after a few days I eventually I found some seats on Craigslist for original purchase price located in the back of the orchestra section that were being sold by someone with a death in the family. As I sat there debating buying them, I got an intuitive hit to go check the concert hall website where I'd unsuccessfully looked for tickets previously: When this happens, it feels like there is someone in my brain loudly saying, “GO LOOK AT THE OFFICIAL SITE!” When I searched this time on the official site, there were two adjacent front row orchestra seats available (plus two adjacent seats a few rows back from that). This was actually fourth row seating because the pit was covered and three rows were added, but it was still close enough that my daughter commented after the show that Josh had a loose thread hanging from the back of the blue suit jacket he wore in the first act that was bugging her. (Yes, she is Type A, and yes, I do know which parent she got it from. Sigh. :) )
 
Josh Groban got seriously ill with a lung infection in October and had to reschedule the Austin concert. I knew when he canceled his New Orleans show a few days before that there was a huge chance that he would cancel Austin as well; I began praying for a reschedule because I didn’t want to lose those amazing seats I had gotten! When the rescheduled concert was set for December 19th, I looked at the calendar and discovered that my ex had just bought Star Wars tickets for the exact same date at the same time for the kids. Fortunately my daughter was able to grasp the concept that she could see Star Wars any time but Josh Groban wasn’t going to be available to sing at any other time. Her cousin took her Star Wars ticket, and our girls’ night was back on, just delayed by two months.
 
Last night, after overcoming all the hurdles of a disabled individual trying to attend an event at a major auditorium, my daughter and I were finally in the theater. Honestly, I sat there in shock for a bit with my hands shaking, so amazed that I was actually in Bass Concert Hall once again. A few years ago I would have said that this might never be possible. If Josh Groban had decided not to sing, I would have been disappointed but I still would have gone home incredibly happy because I simply made it into the theater. That’s how huge of a deal it was that I went last night.
 
Fortunately, though, Josh Groban performed last night despite a “full-blown sinus infection” which he claimed had him performing at only 86% though I don’t think anyone in the audience would have noticed if he hadn’t shared that information. I certainly wouldn’t have! His music was every bit as amazing as I expected it to be in person, and I enjoyed every minute of the evening. I didn’t take notes as I wanted to be fully present in and enjoying the moment, so my retelling of the evening probably has the setlist in the wrong order though it’s somewhat close to the original experience.
 
While I was expecting to be powerfully moved by this concert since Groban’s recordings can leave me in tears depending on the day, what I didn’t expect to happen was that the evening became a life review for me. As song after song unfurled, images from my life, past, present and future, marched through my mind’s eye. Some of the songs that weren’t favorites before suddenly took on totally different meanings as I found new, deep, and very emotional acceptance about parts of my life.
 
Josh Groban walked onto the stage opening with “Pure Imagination” from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a song that speaks to me of the innocence of childhood. I spent my childhood with my head in a book, the safest and happiest place for me to be, though I was actually kind of freaked out by most of Roald Dahl’s books. Groban followed this with “Try to Remember” from The Fantasticks which was the school musical in my sophomore year of high school. While our El Gallo sounded nothing like Groban, the memories still flooded back to me of that time in my life when I was the stage manager and one of my still current friends ran one of the spotlights, terrifying me by scrambling up to its rather unsafe perch. This, too, was a time of partial innocence. While my life was far from happy, I still had my health, and in no way could I foresee the struggles ahead of me in life. Only three months after that production, I began my 22 year relationship with my now ex-husband.
 
After these first two songs, Josh Groban began talking to the audience. My daughter had asked before the concert started if Groban would be doing anything about Donald Trump like he did on Jimmy Kimmel. I told her that I doubted it, and while she was disappointed in that answer, she was not at all let down by the other humor that Groban amused his audience with between songs. During this first round of talking, he explained that he knew that Bass Concert Hall was probably named after someone with the last name of Bass, but he preferred to think of it as one of those talking bass fish like the ones he gets from his aunt for Christmas each year. After having an amusing conversation with an imaginary talking bass, Groban then said for the first of two times that evening that he was highly medicated. I still can’t imagine being able to perform that well while medicated!
 
From there, Groban sang “Old Devil Moon” accompanied by an Austin trumpeter. The song has been going through my head since then including when I woke up during the night. Groban was subsequently joined by the incredibly talented singer Lena Hall for the duet “All I Ask of You” which he sings with Kelly Clarkson on the Stages album. Hall performed a solo afterward, singing “It’s a Man’s, Man’s, Man’s World” originally sung by James Brown. I could tell my daughter was really impressed with Hall’s singing as she was Googling Hall during intermission. I listened to the song thinking about the strong woman I have had to be to survive this life and knowing that my daughter is also a strong young woman, filled with self-confidence, who is going to be able to make her way in a world where women often still aren’t treated as men’s equals.
 
As he had promised earlier yesterday on Twitter, Josh Groban began a few of the songs that he has not performed on tour or in recent history starting with “Dulcinea” from Man of La Mancha. That was probably the low point of the evening for me; both my daughter and I found the red moving images on the curtains behind Groban to be disorienting and distracting. Groban also sang the first of two Christmas songs he performed last night, “The Christmas Song.” He introduced the song by saying that his album Noël (2007) had been very successful, but after its success, he was very Christmased out and didn’t want to sing Christmas songs again until now. I found this amusing because when I announced to my sons that I had bought tickets for Josh Groban in concert, my youngest asked, “Is that the guy who sings Christmas songs?” It made me realize that I play Noël around my kids far more often than any of Groban’s other albums though it’s not the album I listen to most often by any stretch of the imagination.

To close out the first half of the evening, Groban sang “What I Did for Love” from A Chorus Line. This song was one of the most moving parts of the evening as the song touched a pain in me I hadn’t known was there. As I had been thinking about my love of theater throughout the evening, I realized during this song that it was something that my ex-husband had never truly shared. He came with me to various events, but he never understood the joy they brought to me nor the passion they ignite in me. Like many other things in our relationship, that power of music and theater was something that I abandoned, and now I am regaining that lost part of my life again. Yet despite what I gave up in my relationship with him, I looked at our beautiful daughter sitting next to me, and the lyrics “Won't forget, can't regret/ What I did for love” hit me hard. Everything I put myself through in my relationship with him and everything I sacrificed was worth it for the three amazing children we are raising. Though I wish I hadn’t gone through so many years of emotional pain in a toxic relationship, I would never give up the blessings of my children.
 
The second half of the evening was no less entertaining than the first. Josh Groban began after the intermission by singing his medley of “Children Will Listen/Not While I’m Around.”  This opened a whole new level of emotional processing for me. As I had dressed for the evening, I tried putting on a labradorite pendant, but I couldn’t do it. I was intuitively being told that I had to wear my clear quartz pendant. I didn’t understand why until this medley when my heart chakra began aching terribly as the music released a great deal of stored emotional pain and the crystal helped fill the emptiness it left with healing white light. The release continued through the next few songs. This medley in particular forced me to acknowledge how horribly painful it has been for me not to have had someone on the journey who would tell me “Nothing's gonna harm you/ Not while I'm around.” This journey has certainly been one where “demons are prowling everywhere,” yet it’s one that I have had to fight without the support of a partner.
 
Rejoined by Lena Hall in a different sparkling dress than she wore before, Groban sang the duet of “If I Loved You” with her; I actually enjoyed their version more than the one with Audra McDonald on the Stages album. As I listened to these lyrics, once again I was shown some of the happiness that awaits me in the second half of my life just around the next bend. I am impatiently waiting for the day when I have a partner for the first time in hundreds of years who will love me in the way captured so beautifully in the lyrics of this song. Lena Hall then followed this with another solo singing “Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney and which she had recorded in honor of her father, a huge Beatles fan.
 
Moving on to another set of songs not on the Stages album, Groban announced he would be singing another Christmas song. Someone from the audience screamed out, “O Holy Night” which would have been my choice had I been able to vote on the song selection. To accommodate that request, Groban instead offered up a short version of Eric Cartman of South Park singing “O Holy Night.”  It was truly remarkable; Groban is a better Cartman than Cartman I think. (I also believe this is the point where Groban again blamed his medication again for his actions.) Having somewhat satisfied the audience member’s request, Josh Groban moved on to “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” which he dedicated it to the troops who are not able to be home for Christmas as he does on Noël. During the song (which is actually my least favorite on Noël but which I enjoyed last night), I was flooded with an understanding that Christmas will never again be for me what it was in the past. It’s still a very fun event with my children who so far this year have put R2-D2 in the manger in lieu of the Baby Jesus, but it will never be the Christmas of my childhood again.
 
The next offering was “Unusual Way” which is from the musical Nine. As Groban related yet another one of his very amusing stories which in no way is captured by my summary, he said that this song was recorded but not released on the Stages album. He had seen Nine live with Antonio Banderas, and he was close enough to grasp one of Banderas’ chest hairs (ok, not really) and make a wish on it and now he was on a stage in Austin singing this song. “Unusual Way” is a song which I had never heard before but which is now on my playlist of favorites. I hope Groban releases the recording of it on a future album! This song again lead me to reviewing scenes from my past while simultaneously having an understanding of what is to come in my future.
 
When I was leaving my house for the concert, I had meant to put a wad of facial tissues in my purse because I was afraid that if Groban sang “Anthem,” I would melt into a puddle because his rendition of that song makes me cry every time without fail. Fortunately or unfortunately, “Anthem” was not on the setlist since I forgot to stock my purse. However, one of the last songs was the one which left me in tears, and not too unsurprisingly it was “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” from Les Miserables. Groban dedicated it to the victims of Paris, San Bernardino, and all affected by the recent terrorism and violence in the world. For me, it brought on a reflection of all those from my life who are no longer alive, a melancholic reflection that often happens for me around the holidays anyway.
 
As his closing song, Josh Groban sang, “You’ll Never Walk Alone” from Carousel. If the tears hadn’t already started during the previous number, they would have commenced here. This was a song that had never particularly hit me when listening to the Stages album, but it’s now my favorite. Over the past year and especially in the last months, I have struggled with how lonely my journey back to health has been. Few of my friends have been strong enough to make it all the way through the years of illness. When I was separating from my ex-husband 4.5 years ago, I was terrified by the prospect of being alone in fighting the health problems, but what I rapidly learned was that I had already been facing it all on my own for a very long time. It was actually easier to fight the health battles without him in the same house as me draining away more of my energy. Yet that still hasn’t made it easier to walk this path alone. Finding faith and hope that I’m not truly alone has been the hardest challenge for me, especially in the recent months.
 
I’m also at a point where I’m deciding if I am going to be able to go forward in life without a wheelchair. I can walk, but on my bad days, trying to go more than a few feet is draining in an inexplicable way for those who haven’t traveled this same path I am on. So hearing Groban singing about walking, even in the metaphorical sense, prompted more tears. If the choice were just between attending events like this amazing one or not attending them, then I would have no hesitation in getting a wheelchair. However, it’s so much larger of a decision with so many other implications and issues attached that the decision isn’t simple. Thus, I was hearing something in the song that I suspect most other people in the audience didn’t hear: I was trying to understand if the “golden sky” is just around the corner or if I’m going to be living with this level of limited mobility for the rest of my life even once my health battles are done.
 
As the audience gave the first standing ovation and waited for Josh Groban to return for an encore, I couldn’t believe the show was over. It was like I had blinked and the evening was over. I felt like Groban had only sang a few songs until I came home and listed everything and realized it was really a longer evening than I thought! I also went into a bit of shock again. I had done it. I had attended a concert from beginning to end at Bass Concert Hall. I was so amazed and proud of myself for having conquered this hurdle. All I had left to do was get home which actually turned out to be easier than I feared.
 
Josh Groban returned for an encore with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow.” This song has never been the same for me since it was used for Mark Greene’s death on ER in 2002; it now carries a connotation of heaven and the afterlife. I’m sure Judy Garland’s youngish death also impacts the association of the song for me. Yet somehow I left this song with an impression and a hope that the second half of my life is going to lead me to happiness that I’ve never experienced in the first half. My journey through hell is almost over and I will be emerging on the other side, somewhere over the rainbow, in a much better place than I’ve ever lived in.
 
When Josh Groban returns to Austin, I will definitely be going to see him again. The privilege of hearing him sing in person was more than words can describe. Hopefully the next time he returns, the struggles I faced in getting to the concert last night will be a distant memory, replaced with an abundance of health and love.
 
© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

My own personal healing has involved a lot of very deep shadow work in recent weeks. Shadow work is facing the pieces of ourselves that we’d really prefer not to admit were parts of us. However, when one frees oneself from the pain of those shadows, one’s life becomes much happier.

I’ve previously blogged about my past life in World War II when I was a British spy working in Germany. Some of the worst trauma from that life surfaced again, this time from a different emotional perspective. Previously we had processed how the trauma had affected my liver (anger) and my heart chakra (love). This time, the healing work was centered on my kidneys (fear), my gallbladder (resentment), and my throat chakra (being heard).

When we were working on clearing out the issues around World War II Germany particularly relating to my fifth chakra, a different past life came up as well. This is not unusual for me: I often have processed multiple lives around a similar type of trauma at the same time. For instance, one week we processed four breathing related deaths including being trampled by an elephant, dying from lung congestion due to a mining cave-in, dying from polio, and being pitchforked in my diaphragm.

This time, the past life was one in Egypt that I had not seen previously. I have learned about at least three other lives in Egypt prior to this, and none of them were the least bit happy. Exploring past lives has made it clear to me why I have absolutely no desire to travel to Egypt since I endured so much misery there. In this particular past life, I was working in the court of Neferneferuaten Nefertiti (ca. 1370 – ca. 1330 BC). I had gotten the position by misrepresenting my abilities. When the truth came out, I somehow ended up dead with a bashed in skull. Not a happy ending to my life!

Both this particular Egyptian life and the life as a spy in Germany involved me deceiving others and dying as a result of that deception. In the Egyptian life, the lying was just plain stupid but was part of my soul’s learning process. In the British life in Germany, the lying was part of a war strategy, but it also ended up getting me killed in service. As I was looking at this common thread between the two lives, my guides told me, “Pretending to be someone you are not can be a deadly decision.” That struck me as pretty powerful advice. Most of us usually don’t have to face death for our lies and deception, but this wisdom helps drive home how vital it is for us all to be honest and to be ourselves.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

I am one of those people who had recurring nightmares as a child. One of them was induced by the dinosaur scene in Fantasia, one of the first movies I saw in 1977 at the age of 3; I figured this out in high school during science class when a film showed a clip from Fantasia that exactly resembled my dreams. I still can’t watch that video clip without disturbing emotions coursing through my body. Until recently, I never understood what the other recurring childhood dream was actually about or where it came from, but it was terrifying for me. I’m not sure how often I would have it as a child or even when I stopped having it, but decades later, I still remember it in vivid and nauseating detail. 

Over the past few years, I’ve learned a great deal about my past life in Europe that ended during World War II. My spirit guides have given me the information slowly, piece by piece, during many different meditation and bodywork sessions. I have an enormous amount of information on that life, perhaps because it was so recent and so powerful, but more likely because I have had so much healing work to do around it. What has become very obvious to me over the years as I worked through the issues that have come up is that most of my current life could be described as PTSD from my last life. So many of the decisions I’ve made or the fears I’ve had are direct results of what happened then.

The basics of what I know is that I was born around 1920 as a woman to lower class parents who lived somewhere in rural England; I’m not sure where exactly. I had a sister who was beloved to me and a grandmother whom I was very close to, but I don’t know much about other family members aside from some basics about my parents. When I was a young teenager, I left school against my wishes to go into service at the home of a local minor nobility. This man was an alcoholic and a generally miserable controlling person. He had a daughter whom he’d sired at 20 with the family’s secretary; the daughter was five years older than me. As he aged, he was getting much more desperate for a male heir. Thus, when he forced me to have sex with him and I got pregnant, he actually married me despite the 25 year age difference and my lower class origins. Much to his dismay, I miscarried midway through the pregnancy, possibly due to the chlamydia that he had given me. Despite his best efforts, I did not become pregnant again, and I assumed I was sterile.

From there, my life became crazier than what one would normally expect for a wife of that class and era. I began having sex with a neighbor; my husband was not pleased about the affair but turned a blind eye because our distaste for each other was so great at that point. I also had an affair with the step-daughter metioned above. When World War II began, I jumped at the chance for adventure and escape from my husband, and I became a British spy who was sent abroad. I slept my way across Europe: I’ve seen at least four men whom I was sexually involved with but I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more. The sexual activity was for both business and pleasure. One of those affairs resulted in a pregnancy which I had illegally terminated.

For a long time I questioned how I could have gone from my simple English origins to being a spy in Germany. It just didn’t make sense to me. However, I eventually was shown that my father was a German Jewish immigrant to England; my mother was a native and an Anglican. I was raised bilingual. There were other German-speaking Jews in our community as well. Thus, I was someone who would have been optimal to serve the British government best in the war: A woman who could pass as a native German without arousing suspicion. I worked my way through France to Germany, though I’m not sure how long I was actually in France. It may have been just one fateful train ride (and romantic hookup). In Germany, I was working at a military factory as part of my spy work, but I was also secretly doing relief work for a Jewish refugee camp for immigrants from Eastern Europe.

Sometime last year, I finally made the connection between my childhood recurring dream in this life and my past life in Germany during World War II. On the day when I finally understood what the dream was about, I had a complete and total emotional meltdown. I called my therapist for an emergency phone session; in her words, I was confronting true evil in its darkest sense. As I talked to her on the phone while pacing the back porch, green dragonflies were literally circling around me, an unusual occurrence in my yard. Symbolically, dragonflies are “connected to the symbolism of change and light.” Their green color related to my heart chakra, indicating the change in my energy relating to love and compassion. In retrospect, the symbolism couldn’t have been any more powerful.

Most of us were taught the horror stories of what happened to Jews and others in the concentration camps in Germany, but the worst of it didn’t make it into the history books. The things I saw during the war and then in my recurring dreams in this life were so horrific that I don’t discuss them with most people (including here on the blog) because they would be traumatizing for most highly sensitive people, empaths or those who had family members who were lost or killed during those terrible years. However, once I had calmed down many weeks later, I consulted one of of the professors who had been on my dissertation committee and who has published a book on the concentration camps. He confirmed for me that what I had seen was highly suspected and had been hinted at in cultural artifacts. It’s just not something that has ever been widely published.

My soul was deeply traumatized by what I witnessed and participated in during World War II. There are no words to express it all. This created the spiritual root for the Lyme disease and many other traumas I endured during my current life. I truly believed at the soul level that I deserved to suffer terribly for my part in the war even though I was acting as a spy when I took the actions I did. When I first began having major health problems in 2003 and 2004, I used to tell people, “I must have been a Nazi in a past life to deserve this kind of suffering.” My subconscious knew what was going on at a soul level.

The past few months have involved a great deal of work reprogramming my body to undo the damage from World War II that I brought into this life. The stored emotions, entities, and pain had to be released so that I can heal completely. That release has involved a great deal of physical and emotional pain as I addressed the issues, let them surface, and then removed them from my body, often with the help of the various healers on my team.

Last Monday, we hit an apex of healing. In what seems absolutely unimaginable and unrealistic, my body manifest an actual lump in my abdomen in the area of my liver that was a result of one of the bullets that killed me somewhere around 1941. While the bullet from the past life was not literally there, the lump was real. Two different healers were able to palpate it and sense the pain from it. Using several crystals and flower essences as well as energy work, we were able to dissolve that large lump. The whole situation was amazing to experience, yet I am so grateful to have that energetic bullet gone. My healing is not yet over; we continue to clean out whatever comes up. I am not sure how much more there is to go, but removing that bullet was key to my healing. 

I have been given the names of my husband and me in that life, and someday I hope to be able to go to Britain and do research to find more information though I suspect a great deal of it is still classified. I also may go back to Germany someday to the city where I was stationed and attempt to find complete peace with what happened there. My body was never returned to England, but I suspect it was put in an unmarked grave. I also doubt there are any remnants of the other activities I was involved in during my past life, but I still would like to see and experience the area again, this time under the banner of compassion, healing and peace.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

It’s often posited that our souls travel in soul groups: We reincarnate repeatedly with the same people, often the ones we love the most. We change our roles with those people, though. Sometimes we might be a man, sometimes we might be a woman, sometimes we might be lovers, sometimes we might be parents or sometimes we might be children. My ex-husband in this life was a friend of one of my lovers in our most recent past lives; one of my sons was a lifelong friend in that life; my parents were the same souls as in this life. My mentor and I also suspect that I have been a mother to my ex-husband in a past life, but I have not yet seen details of that life. No matter what our relationships in past lives, our roles may change in current or future lives. We retain our soul level love but we change the dynamics of our relationship to meet the needs of a particular incarnation.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve had some amazing past life experiences involving one particular platonic friend whom I’ll call Andy for anonymity purposes. When using atlantisite, I saw a Native American past life we had shared together many centuries ago in what is now known as Wyoming. In that life, Andy and I were young lovers of the same sexes we are now. We were engaged but were not formally bound to each other, and that became an issue for me after his death. We were out gathering berries or herbs or something on a hillside away from our tribe’s camp when he collapsed. I was left in a horrid quandary: Abandon my lover in pain as he lay dying to get help or stay with him and watch him die. I chose the latter, and he died in my arms within an hour.

When I shared this information with Andy in this life, he and I began a running joke of him cajoling me, “I can’t believe you let me die!” and me teasing him, “I can’t believe you wouldn’t go see the medicine man! Typical man!” Despite our joking about the situation, there were deep wounds from that past life which had stayed with our souls and which were playing out in this life. Andy follows the beliefs of a spiritual teacher who argues that we shouldn’t investigate our past lives but should instead deal with the issues in front of us in this life. On one hand, I see the logic in that. Past lives that come up in spiritual work usually do so because we have deep and powerful work to do regarding them. It’s not the fun experience that most people expect when they start looking for their past lives. However, I believe that if we are shown past lives, we are meant to work through the issues that they bring up. Thus, Andy even agreed that this past life issue was sitting before him in the present life in the form of me, and so we had to deal with the issues that seemed related to different health problems both of us were having.

The first thing that came up between us was a spiritual cord joining our gallbladders. Cords are connections that we make when we want to bind a person to us, usually not in a healthy way. They join us across time and space to others' souls. These cords can be means of draining energy from others; they can also cause emotions to be felt by the person on the other end of the cord. All of the cords which I have found on my spiritual body were ones placed by toxic abusers or for unhealthy reasons. They needed to be cut through energy work so that the burden they entailed could be removed. In this particular case, the spiritual cord was one that my soul had created when Andy’s former incarnation was dying. I didn’t want him to leave me, so out of desperation, I tried to bind us across the ages. The cord served no healthy purpose for us, and so we agreed it was time to remove it. Both Andy and I are healers in this life in different professions. Our varying skills and metaphysical gifts have complemented each other well as we worked to heal our past lives together. In the case of cutting the cord between our gallbladders, it was Andy who did most of the energetic work after I had seen the visions which helped us locate the cord. Subsequent to seeing the cord and its removal, I was shown that both Andy and I need to work with red poppy flower essence and with black opal. Both of us began using them, but not much happened.

Nine months later, I received more insight about Andy and me during meditation. I called him and told him that we both HAD to make using red poppy a priority so that we could heal whatever needed to heal. The time was now ripe to do so. Andy is used to my crazy visions and impulses, and he knows that I’m almost always right in what I see. As a result of what I’d seen during this message from higher powers, Andy and I booked a session with my mentor (who also happens to be a client of his) so that we would have a neutral third party to assist in the healing session that needed to happen between us. This turned out to be an excellent idea on Andy’s part as having a third person involved in the healing ceremony greatly facilitated our healing as individuals and as a past life couple. She was able to direct each of us when we needed to do individual work and weren’t in a place to devote attention to each other; this greatly assisted in the flow.

The result of our healing season was a powerful experience that showed the connections between Andy’s and my relationship in that particular past life with the various problems our former marriages (to others) in this life. As I worked through my resentment toward Andy for dying before we married in our past life and towards men in this life for failing to love me when and how I wanted, he worked through issues of feeling ensnared by various women in this life and that one. What ending up happening can best be described as therapy by proxy: We were able to state things to each other that we couldn’t state to others in our lives who had hurt us or whom we had hurt, especially our ex-spouses. Andy said the exact same words that my ex-husband had previously said to me, but this time I actually heard them because they were not tainted by the anger and pain of our current situations. The result was spectacular. It’s something I wish could easily be recreated for others, working with a more neutral stand-in who is in the opposite situation as them in order to find healing. I actually said at one point, "If only marriage therapy had been this easy!"

The healing that we both received during this session was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Andy experienced temporary remission from his physical pain during the session, something that never normally happened for him. There was another cord between us which we removed as we used crystals, essences and words to facilitate the process. It was still very difficult to approach some of the deep and emotionally painful issues that came up, but it helped us both to do it. Perhaps the most amazing thing I felt at one point during the session was being overwhelmed by a soul level love for Andy. If you’d asked me previously how I felt about him, I would have told you that he’s a good friend. I never would have used the word “love” to describe our relationship. However, the sensation of love was so powerful and consuming during that moment that it left me in awe. The experience gave me a much better understanding of the soul level love that we can carry for others between our lives.

I feel incredibly blessed that we were able to share this healing session in this life when we were friends and not romantic partners. The distance between us let us heal deep past wounds with each other and others. Andy’s current romantic partner is another close friend of mine; she is someone he has introduced to my soul family. While I haven’t had previous incarnations with her, I can definitely see having future ones with her. Because of her love for both of us and her desire for both of us to heal, she gave her blessing for us to engage in this healing session together. I could see another woman not being so willing to facilitate this kind of work with past-life partners and responding with jealousy or worse. Instead, she gifted us with the ability to work together as friends to find past life healing.

Since then, I’ve since seen two other past lives with Andy, neither of which required major healing. In one, a life in an Aztec community many centuries ago, he was physically and emotionally abusive to me; I was mentally ill and treated him terribly as well. We simply need to forgive each other so we could move forward with our healing in other ways. The other past life was one in Native American days in what we now know as Wisconsin in which we only played tangential roles in each other's life. When I first met Andy’s father in this life, I had that déjà vu feeling that I already knew him. When I checked with my guides, they confirmed that Andy's current father had been Andy’s and my child in another past life. However, the guides refused to give me any more information. I have found that unless we need information for healing, we don’t learn about past lives. If we knew all the details of all our lives, we’d likely be overwhelmed! However, when past lives surface in our healing work, moving through the issues they bring up can bring amazing healing in our present lives.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

In the process of learning the greater lessons of life, we often swing from one extreme to the other just as a pendulum does.  For example, if we've been controlled by our parents, we might turn around and control our spouse or children before we swing back to center realizing that exerting control is not a great way to interact with those we love. Another situation is a woman who dates a neglectful man who uses her and ignores her; after she realizes how unhealthy this first relationship this is, then in reaction, her next relationship may be with a man who dominates and controls her. Hopefully, she will eventually swing back to center and find a relationship with a healthy man who is her equal and partner.

The same is true of spiritual theories. When someone encounters a spiritual theory that is not the best for them, they may then swing to the opposite side, missing all of the middle ground and ending up in a place that is equally unhealthy as the theory that caused such distaste in the first place. The Reluctant Empath by Bety Comerford and Steve Wilson is a book that creates just this error. The authors clearly have a bitter distaste for what they label “the New Age community” and the books produced by the same. Herein lies their first mistake: There is no one “new age” community. That’s like stating “the Christian church”: You cannot reasonably group such diverse units under one umbrella and label them all as the same. In their reaction to their experiences with some new age groups (though we never specifically learn which ones or how many), the authors swing their pendulum to another extreme, and as a result, they create some theories that are downright dangerous on a metaphysical level.

As an empath who fought her metaphysical abilities for the first 35+ years of her life and saw them as a curse, not gifts, I was drawn to the title, The Reluctant Empath. That label definitely could have described me for most of my life. I’m definitely not alone in that experience: Many of us with metaphysical gifts hide them for fear of being ridiculed, harassed or persecuted in a society that overemphasizes scientific rationalism. Throughout the book, the authors use the example of a man named Alex as he grows from a boy to a young adult. His life experiences were very different than mine, but I could see the common threads in our journeys. Alex is a unifying figure and great literary device to make the book cohesive. 

A careful analysis of just one paragraph from the book, however, can help illuminate a multitude of issues within the work and the authors’ spiritual theory:

Most people I know who would fall in the category of new age believers, me included, do not believe that a talisman will solve all their problems. Crystals, essential oils, flower essences, and other healing devices are aids along the way. A parallel example is the use of a bandage to cover an open wound. That bandage is not going to actually help the wound heal; some might argue that it will slow the process by reducing exposure to air. However, the bandage will help prevent debris from entering the wound and causing irritation if not infection. It will also potentially reduce the physical and emotional pain of a nasty wound by keeping it out of sight. The bandage is a highly recommended tool. Can one heal without it? Absolutely. Is using the bandage the easiest and best way for most to heal?  In most cases, yes. 

The authors would argue that using a bandage indicates you are coming from a place of fear that will prevent you from ever healing which is simply not true in many cases. However, they believe that negative energy of fear that you are putting out when using crystals and other talismans as protection will attract more negativity. I argue the converse: Using protection indicates common sense and strength. It says, “I am a strong woman who knows her limits. I know when I need assistance and should ask for help.” It also says that I am very aware of my desire to keep my vibrations high and healthy; the crystals I wear are signs of the vibrations I want to attract. It is not a fear based action but rather one based in confidence, strength and growth.

Crystals alone will not protect someone from negative metaphysical energy. However, they can act as amplifiers to shift and accentuate a person’s energetic work. They are aids, not the ultimate solutions. My energy is far more secure and grounded when I have certain crystals on; I woudn't dare enter a large crowd of people without them. However, I also know that that crystal alone is not enough to keep me safe. I have to keep my energy grounded and make sure I've let my spirit guides know that I would appreciate their help in this situation where there are wild amounts of energy from across the spectrum.

In the same way, crystals and other metaphysical aids can be very powerful tools for individuals to help clear out a lifetime (and in many cases, a multitude of lifetimes) worth of toxicity, pain, stored emotions, and negative entities.  Most of us don’t realize how much crud we've stored in our bodily forms and attached to our souls until we begin doing deep healing work. (I actually think a great majority of the energy workers in practice haven’t even begun to clean themselves up to the point where they can help others from a place of health.) The metaphysical aids are an easy way to help shift one’s vibration so as to shake loose negativity that is attached to us. Because like attracts like as the authors repeat many times, once we get rid of negativity, we won’t be as likely pick up new negativity, and we’ll also be able to dump the other stored negativity in our bodies. It’s a long and slow process. I agree with the authors that there is no instant healing; however, I think that the authors deeply underestimate the amount of work necessary to truly clean a person’s body and soul in order to get them to the point where the author’s primary premise of grounding all negative energy can be applied.

The expanded version of the authors’ all-solving magical premise is that we should never absorb the negative energy and emotions we encounter. We should observe them without judgment, and then we should use our empathic energy to ground them. This is great advice, but it is WAY more difficult than the authors understand for most people to do if their bodies and souls are already cluttered with negativity. It’s an excellent goal for all of us to work towards, but until individuals work, often with aids such as crystals to clear the blockages that prevent the flow of energy through their bodies, bringing in more energy through our bodies in an attempt to ground it will simply cause the energy to get stuck in the person and in return will cause the person to become more toxic. The technique that the authors are advocating is NOT something a beginner should attempt without first having done extensive healing work. The theory also declines to take into account sentient negative energies, a topic too large to cover in this review, but one that greatly dislodges the success individuals will have when trying to apply the authors’ theory of grounding.

Furthermore, the authors seriously neglect the ethical issues involved when they argue that empaths should take on other’s negative energy to ground it without first consulting those whose energy they are working with. This is the equivalent of metaphysical assault. To give a parallel example, if someone looked at you and said, “You really need to loosen up. Let me help you with that” and then forced sex you, that would be rape, a sexual assault. You did not give them permission to “help” in the way they deigned necessary. Likewise, working on someone’s metaphysical state without their permission is assault.  While the empath might have deemed in his/her/hir distorted perception that the other person “needs” help, it’s not acceptable to do energetic work without consent. If I ever feel someone messing with my energy, I use methods of protection to prevent them from entering my aura. Only those whom I have decided are “clean” enough on a metaphysical level get to work on my energy and only then with my knowledge and consent. Too many healers think they are healthier and more skillful than they actually are; they can actually cause damage to others by attempting metaphysical healing they are not ready to do.

I found the overall tone to the book to be one that was patronizing and distasteful: The authors unwittingly create a view of empaths that makes them seem like the most superior humans on a spiritual level. This simply isn’t true. Empaths are human, and they are inherently no better or worse than others. It is entirely possible for people who are not empaths to still live an incredibly holy lives that are of great benefit in raising the vibrations of their souls and the planet overall. The authors’ insistence that empaths’ sole duty in life is to raise the vibration of the planet through any means necessary is misguided and is based on their limited experiences. Had they discussed this theory with other evolved empaths, their theory would likely appear much different. Empaths have a variety of gifts, and we’re not all here to do the exact same thing. What they visualize may be true for some but not for others.

There is wisdom to be found in this book; in particular, it helped me look at the intense spiritual healing I have done on past lives from a different view point. I don’t know that I agree with their theories on past life healing as they just don’t ring true with my experiences, but I appreciated the exposure to new ideas. Overall, however, I felt the book was weak, and not just because of the plethora of grammatical errors it contains. The issues I touched on in this review are only the beginning of the problems within the book, but they are some of the most major ones. I won’t be recommending it to my clients because I believe it seriously neglects ethical concerns around working with energy and because I believe it encourages dangerous behavior in untrained empaths.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

As I’ve jokingly told friends, “Some people sleep with men.  I sleep with rocks.”  When my kids help me change the sheets on my bed (since my mobility often limits my ability to do it on my own), my daughter always knows to ask, “How many rocks are there hidden in the sheets?”  The usual answer is that I’m not sure.  It’s always an adventure emptying out the bed to see what I’ve been stashing away in there like a squirrel over the previous week or two.

All jokes aside, one of the primary ways I use crystals is to change my metaphysical energy while I’m sleeping.  I fall asleep with rocks near my feet, near my pillow, in my hands, or alongside my body.  It can be less than pleasant to wake up during the night to a jagged object attacking you, but aside from that minor drawback, crystals can work amazing changes in one’s metaphysical energy during sleep.  If you subscribe to the school of thought that I do, crystals raise one’s vibrations and help change the way one’s body and soul interact with the world.

I’ve had several deep spiritual experiences falling asleep with crystals in my hands, especially during my afternoon naps.  Early in my work with crystals, I had gone to Nature’s Treasures during one of their sales.  I found myself standing in front of one of the clearance tables for a third time, and even my daughter noticed that I couldn’t stay away from the purple fluorite that was there.  It was $3, so I figured, “What the heck” and bought it.   About three weeks later, the fluorite seemed to be calling to me as I was going to bed, so I grabbed it and fell asleep with it in my hand. 

Two hours later, I awoke to a violent jolt as something flew out from my body.  When I looked up, and I saw an entity leaving my body.  It appeared to me like a digitized bat-like creature, but as my mentor has taught me, our minds don’t really know how to process evil when they see it.  So the bat was probably the best approximation of what my mind could do with something it was seeing outside its normal view. 

That happened on a Tuesday afternoon.  On Thursday morning, I went to see one of my healers.  I told him, “I’ve spent the past 36 hours thinking about this, and I don’t think this could have happened, but here’s what I experienced.”  His response?  “That happened.”  And it did.  It was my first experience with seeing something on another level of existence, but not my last.

On a different occasion, I fell asleep with a piece of Atlantisite (pictured above) in my hand.  I was hoping to get some insight on time I spent on Atlantis in past lives.  However, what I ended up seeing was a past life with a friend of mine in Wyoming hundreds of years ago.  I awoke from my nap hearing Native American chanting and drumming in my room.  I couldn’t understand why the neighbor was listening to that music so loudly until I finally figured out that the neighbor wasn’t the source of the music.  I allowed myself to receive information at that point, and I saw the first of three past lives I’ve seen so far that involve this friend.  In this particular message, I also got some information on his current life health issues.  I sent him a text about it, and he wanted more information, so I did another session that day to gain further insight.  In turn, these past life experiences have led to some intense and powerful mutual healing sessions with that friend.

If you are considering working with crystals at any point, I highly recommend sleeping with them in the bed with you.  As I’ve found out time and again, it can create a life-changing experience.

© 2014 Green Heart Guidance

My most important rule of thumb when it comes to buying crystals is to buy whatever is “talking” to you.  Last fall, I was at a sale at our local rock store.  I found myself in front of the same sale table three times.  Even my daughter noticed that I kept coming back to that table.  Clearly there was something I needed on it.  I figured out that it was a $3 piece of fluorite.  At that price, I figured I had nothing to lose.  It turned out to be a very powerful stone in my personal healing.  I find this to be true any time I go into a crystal store:  Spiritual guidance helps me find what I need to bring home with me to work with in the upcoming weeks.

But what crystals should a beginner buy to have around when they are just getting started with crystal healing?  Again, this will be a matter of personal intuition and guidance.  I would recommend buying at least one crystal or stone to work with each of the seven major chakras.  While stones are usually the same color as the color of the chakra they work with, that isn't always true.  Still, going for a stone of each major color will serve most people well.  Within those guidelines, the following are my recommendations.

Base chakra:  This is the chakra that grounds you and connects you to the earth.  You want something strong that feels heavy.  This is the stone you want to use when you feel scared or flighty or in danger.  For me, the stone is black obsidian.  For others, it is hematite or magnetite or sometimes black tourmaline.  Survey the black stones and see which calls the most to you. 

You might also want to consider getting a red stone like a jasper.  Jaspers and agates are both very calming stones for me.  I have a piece of polychrome jasper that is a worry stone, one that fits easily in my hand and works well for rubbing when I am stressed. 

Sacral chakra:  This is one of the few places where I have an absolute recommendation:  Carnelian.  Carnelian works well with issues of sexuality, abuse, and creativity.  Since a vast majority of the population has endured abuse, it can be a very healing stone for many.  It also can be very beautiful.  The one piece I bought initially because I just thought it would make a beautiful paperweight if nothing else!

Solar Plexus:  This is another place where I have a definitive recommendation:  Citrine.  Citrine is a power stone for me.  It works with my self-esteem.  It is protective for me.  It also cleanses auras without retaining the energy so it works well in group situations.  As a secondary stone, I would choose yellow calcite, but it is a distant second.

Heart Chakra:  For most people, rose quartz is the definitive heart chakra stone.  It works around any kind of love related issue.  For me, however, this is one place where I would vary from the norm.  I would select green aventurine for myself.  Green aventurine is the heart shaped stone on my homepage at the moment.  It is a heart healing stone, and it is one that is powerful for me.  This is part of where my business name came from! 

Because I have done a lot of heart chakra work, I have several other green stones that I have strong attachments to.  I love peridot, prehnite, and green apophyllite.  Once again, let your gut feeling be your guide.  If something attracts your attention and you can’t stop thinking about it as you walk around the store, clearly that is a crystal you need to work with.

Throat Chakra:  I think most people would suggest lapis lazuli as a primary throat chakra stone, and I would likely agree.  It is a good strong stone for many issues related to the throat.  I tend to prefer blue kyanite for myself.  I’ve also had very powerful healing experiences with angelite (which is also a crown chakra stone in my experience) and iolite (for parasite elimination in my gut).  For one client, I recommended aquamarine because her guides showed it to me, and when we checked with crystal reference books, it was right on target with her fifth chakra issues.

Third Eye Chakra:  Amethyst is the unquestionable crystal for most people.  It is a very powerful protector and healer.  It is just a stone that radiates strength.  For myself, I prefer ametrine which combines the energy of amethyst and citrine together into an even more powerful stone for me. 

I also would select a piece of multi-colored fluorite that was predominantly purple.  I have a fluorite pendant that is purple, blue, green, and white but appears purple unless held to the light.  I wore it for five months straight, and it changed my life.  If I could only have one stone, it would be a multicolored fluorite.  It is that powerful of a stone for me.  However, for others, there are other stones that are far more important for them to work with.

Crown chakra:  For almost everyone, the obvious choice will be clear quartz.  Clear quartz is considered to be the master crystal that amplifies the energy of all other crystals.  Clear quartz can be used for cleaning the negative energy out of other stones which are able to pick up energy but not release it on their own.  I keep large pieces of clear quartz in two locations in my home, and when I return from being out in the world, I take off my crystal jewelry and put it on the clear quartz in order to clean any negative energy I’ve picked up or released during that day.

Other white stones have played stronger roles in my personal healing, though.  Selenite is a very powerful crown chakra stone that is good for clearing one’s aura and for protection.  Clear calcite has helped me including when my body’s stores of minerals were out of balance.  Angelite, green apophyllite, spirit quartz, and celestite are all other stones which aren’t white or clear but which have helped me in connecting with higher powers and energies.

There are many other stones that I love which have led to powerful healing experiences for me that I don’t have listed above including Atlantisite, black opal, blue calcite, desert rose, blue-green tourmaline, turquoise, charoite, dendritic agate, larimar, pearl, diamond, ruby, topaz, tiger eye, labradorite and moonstone.  These are stones which I bought as I added to my collection and progressed in my spiritual journey.

I have also found that for many men, metallic stones are their power stones just as green aventurine is one of my power stones.  I personally have no real attraction topyrite or magnetite, but I know several men in my life who can’t get enough of them.

The bottom line is that you should buy what calls to you.  The employees in your local rock store should be able to assist you.  If you live in Austin and would like me to assist you in crystal selection, I am happy to do outcall appointments at Nature’s Treasures so that you can have someone to personally assist you in finding crystals that resonate with your higher powers if you aren’t in open contact with them yet.  I’m able to work with groups as well.

© 2013 Green Heart Guidance