When I originally started my business, one of my first clients asked a very pertinent but surprising question during our initial discussion. I had suggested to her that she might want to try meditating, and she responded, “I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of meditating, but how do I meditate?” The question caught me off-guard, because for me, that is a question like, “How do you tie your shoes?” I don’t think about tying my shoes. I just instinctively do it, though when I was four and learning how to tie my shoes, that certainly wasn’t true. It took a lot of practice before the action because intuitive. Likewise, meditation is something that I just do. I don’t think about it. So being forced to stop and describe the process was more of a challenge for me than I expected.

Since then, I have read many books and e-books looking for a great introduction to meditating to recommend to clients. Many of the books have been truly awful, loaded with the egos of the authors or with dogmatic approaches to meditation that don’t allow for individual differences or challenges. Meditation: A Beginner's Guide (original title: Seeing The Wider Picture) by Charlotte Parnell is the first book I have thought did a fabulous job with how it described meditation, intuition, and the benefits of both. I’m a bit puzzled as to where or how I recently acquired this book since I have a new hardback copy and it’s not in print any more though lots of used copies are available on the internet and a digital edition is available as well. The book really needs to be edited both to reflect the new title and to correct many minor grammatical errors through the text. (A better new title would likely have been Meditation: A Beginner's Guide to Seeing the Wider Picture thus eliminating the inconsistencies with the title references throughout the book.) However, once one understands what on earth the author is talking about when she refers to the (old) title, the book progresses in an easy to read fashion. 

Among the topics Parnell covers successfully are journaling after meditating, frequency of meditation, atmosphere, position, breathing, relaxation, visualization, self-healing, and benefits. All of the topics are covered in a non-judgmental way that encourages the readers to explore their own experiences and find what is right for them. While Parnell gives a variety of options with regard to every topic, she makes it clear that what works for one person may be wrong for another, something that many other authors can’t seem to grasp. Parnell sees the importance of meditation is in its ability to open us to our higher selves and a higher state of being; she acknowledges that a belief in a god is not necessary for this though the book is very spiritual (not religious) in tone. She also covers a bit of the basic info about grounding and protection, topics that are often avoided in meditation books but which are vital to metaphysical safety.

The last part of the book is ten meditation exercises. I was a bit disappointed in these as many of them are very similar to each other, though Parnell explains why she keeps them so similar as a teaching strategy. Still, I would have preferred more variety in them. I singled out six of the exercises that I think would make good short (five minute) guided meditations for the Meetup group I lead.

Overall, I am delighted to find this short pocketbook which provides such a great introduction to meditation as a spiritual and healing venture. I will be recommending it to many clients who are seeking to begin a spiritual meditation practice as they work on healing themselves.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

When I first enrolled at UT as an undergrad, one of my hopes was to blend into the crowd. I had graduated from a class of 51 at a small Catholic girls' school that had about 600 students in grades pre-K through 12. Everyone seemed to know everything about what you didn't want them to know. At one point as a senior I went to the business office to drop off a tuition check, and the women working there commented on something going on in my life. I didn't know these women's names, but they knew what I thought were relatively private things about me.

Thus, I figured by enrolling in a university with approximately 50,000 students, I would be able to disappear into the crowd. Surely no one would know whom I was there. I took a few "weed out" classes my first semester: huge lecture sections which required students to perform well enough to survive the college experience. They were meant to fail those who couldn't handle advanced work in the future. My government class was one of them. It wasn't a class I wanted to take, but it was a degree requirement. After the first exam, we had to go up to the various TAs and claim our blue books. As I said my name to the TA who had my paper, she looked at me and said, "Oh. You got the highest grade on the exam." My response was not what the typical response would have been at that point. The one word that went through my head was "CRAP!" I wanted to blend into the crowd, not be easily identified by a TA who had never met me before. This was exactly what I had been hoping to avoid!

As I have gotten older, I have noticed something that has changed greatly in my world. I'm now an overweight, middle-aged and disabled woman. When I am attending events in person, I seem to disappear from the sight of those around me, especially middle-aged men. Some days I start to question if I am even visible even though I am pretty sure I am still in flesh and blood form. There's a popular story in natural healing communities about the arrival of Columbus' ships in the West Indies. Supposedly the only natives who could see the ships were the shamans. This was because the other natives were not used to seeing something that their mind could not identify. Rather than seeing the ships as something unusual or different, the natives saw nothing at all. While I'm skeptical about the authenticity of the story, it illustrates a powerful point: Some of us only see what we want to see. All other things disappear. Thus, as I am a woman who is not in my prime of beauty or fitness, parts of society would prefer not to see me and often try to avoid me.

I experienced this most recently at the event I attended last Friday night. I have attended this group once before about two years ago, I think. There are over 1000 members on this group's Facebook page, so it's not a small membership. I had forgotten that they have the awful custom of calling out newbies and focusing attention on them. While I realize that many people think this is a great way of recognizing and welcoming new members to make them feel wanted and to get them to return, for introverts it is often undesired attention. Once introverts have found the strength to attend a new group of people they don't know, the last thing they want is to be singled out for attention. However, one of the leaders asked during a momentary break who was new there that night. One of the young men was, and he was happy to engage with the leader. The leader then moved on to the man next to the new attendee who was someone who had not attended in a long time. After that, the leader looked around at the remaining people who happened to be all female and said, "All of you are regulars" or something to that effect. I was puzzled. While I was grateful not to have been singled out for attention, I was also surprised at how I had once again managed to disappear from the sight of this man. 

This is not an unusual occurrence in our society. There are many people whom our society would prefer not to see. The homeless, the disabled, and many minorities are at the top of the list. These groups make many feel uncomfortable. A lot of people think that by avoiding their gaze, these "undesirables" will vanish if not literally, at least long enough to pretend they don't exist. As an overweight, disabled, middle-aged woman, I've unfortunately experienced this "disappearing trick" many try to play with me in hopes that by avoiding my gaze, they won't have to admit that I am there. It's a sad state of affairs when our society wants to pretend that many people who are a part of our human family don't exist. Those people are there, and no matter how much you try to ignore them, they will not go away. The only thing individuals prove by diverting their gazes is that they have much personal work to do in the area of acceptance.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Our society is enamored with the Cinderella myth. We like to believe a young girl’s prince will come and carry her off into the sunset. With the notable exception of James Lapine’s Into the Woods, most fairy tales don’t end in divorce. They are about happily ever after. And thus, most of our young girl fantasies involving finding our one and only who will make us happy for the rest of our lives. Yet the reality is that happily ever after rarely happens in a Cinderella story manner.

In my first marriage, I though I had found my Prince Charming. My ex-husband and I had a very unusual relationship for modern America in one particular way: we were each others’ first and only partners from the time we began dating until we separated, a duration of 22+ years. This came about in part because of how young we were when we began dating. I was 14 years 8 months and a sophomore in high school when we changed from being friends to being romantic interests; he was recently turned 17 years old and a junior in high school. Neither of us had dated anyone else previously.

After many years of chronic illness, our relationship grew apart. We both were raised Catholic though we have each evolved in different ways in response to the tragedies and difficulties we encountered in life. My ex doesn’t believe in past lives; he sees himself as somewhere between an agnostic and an atheist. On the other hand, I have become highly spiritual but not at all religious as a result of all the challenges I have faced. However, I couldn’t explore my spirituality fully while I was still partnered with my ex-husband because I felt intimidated by his belittling tactics towards ideas he didn’t understand or agree with. For me, it felt safer to hide my beliefs from him. (And yes, that is a sign of an unhealthy relationship!)

Once my ex-husband and I separated, I began exploring my past lives in earnest. Learning about my past life relationships with other souls helped me to be less devastated by the loss of someone I thought was my “one and only” for this life. I was able to break away from the cultural myth that we only have one soulmate and instead understood that we the potential for many soulmates in each lifetime. Thus, when one soulmate relationship ends, it doesn’t mean that you have used up all your romantic love for one lifetime. It simply means that the person who was right for you previously is no longer right for this part of your journey. I believe that the option for other love interests, including soul mates, is available to all of us more than once in a lifetime.

As I explored my past lives, one of the first souls I had to deal with was my lover from my three most recent past lifetimes (and probably more that as well). When he showed up to talk to me just before the summer solstice, he tried to convince me he was one of my guides, but things felt very wrong. The more I learned about him, the more I realized what a toxic soul he was and how much work he had to do as an individual. He was very mad at me for reincarnating without him this time around, but it was time for us to move on separate paths so that we (or at least I) could heal. I cut ties with him and sent him away. Yet the experiences with him helped me to realize that my relationship with my ex-husband in this life was definitely not my one and only soulmate relationship. I have been partnered with many souls across the millenia, and some of those souls are still in my life in different types of relationships in this lifetime.

The lyrics of "For Good" from Wicked strike me as a powerful way to explain this relationship with our soulmates. They declare:

We are here for our paths to cross, and we will forever change each other when they do. Yet there comes a time when we must say goodbye. That doesn’t mean we will never encounter this soul again nor does it mean we will never share love with them again either. But for this lifetime, our journey together is done. It is time to move on to share in new adventures, new love, and new growth with another soulmate.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

On Friday night, I had three different activities I wanted to go to. I asked my spirit guides which was the most important for me to go to, and they had a clear answer: kirtan. Hence, I attended a local kirtan group's monthly meeting even though it was starting rather late for me and was on the other side of town.

Kirtan is a singing and meditative tradition that comes to us from India. During the kirtan, musicians lead the group in chants which are sung in a "call and response" format. Even if you don't understand the language in which the words are being spoken, it's possible to participate and benefit immensely. The intent and energy are the most important part of the kirtan. The rhythm of the music ends up creating a meditative state for many, freeing them from wordly concerns and helping them to find divine insight.

The group I was at was a small gathering with five musicians and ten community members. However, despite the small size, the music got quite loud at several points; I was thinking how grateful I was that I didn't live in the apartments above the yoga studio where we were meeting. At times, the singing was horribly off-key, and yet simultaneously it was immensely beautiful because of the spiritual energy it contained. I stopped singing and instead just focused on what the energy of the music was doing to my body multiple times during the evening. The music moved through my fourth chakra, healing some deep wounds. It then moved into my fifth chakra working on literal pain there. Later in the evening, one of the songs was able to create interesting movement in my second chakra as well.

As I listened to and felt the music that evening, I was struck by how powerful the energy of the music was. I also noted that it was the same energy I've felt in other music at previous times in my life, specifically certain Christian rock songs and Taizé chant. It doesn't matter which language we sing in or which god(s) we are worshipping: The energy of sacred music is very similar. That spiritual energy that flows from the sacred music is powerful, and it has the ability to heal. 

Even if you are tone deaf (like me) or unable to play an instrument (also like me), it is still possible to benefit from the transcendental power of song. Attending worship services, kirtans, or concerts or even just listening to music in your own home will allow the sacred spiritual energy to flow through you. If you can find the courage to sing along, the benefit may increase as you bring your intent in line with the music to help it heal you however and wherever you need it.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

(I received an Advance Reader Copy of Upside from the Goodreads Giveaways program. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone. Previous blog posts I have written on Upside are located here and here.) 

One of the things that drives me nuts in life is when people use denial as a justified coping technique. They create distorted and dysfunctional mythologies around their particular issues which allow them to believe that they have healed when the reality is far from it. I am not unfamiliar with this technique on a personal level: I used it unsucessfully for many years myself. I often see the Law of Attraction warped in this way as people believe that if they confront negative aspects of themselves, then they will draw the negative to them. Thus, they believe it's best to ignore and deny those negative issues. However, the reality couldn't be further from the truth. When we have something negative festering within us due to repression and/or denial, we continue to attract similar energies to us in order to help us heal that wounded part.

As I read through Upside: The New Science of Post-Traumatic Growth by Jim Rendon, I cringed far more than once as I read the words of those who had purportedly experienced post-traumatic growth. Rendon held these people up as examples of those who had been able to turn a traumatic life experience such as cancer or an accident into a motivation for positive growth and change. All of these people had done just that, and all had experienced growth and gratitude for the positive change their traumas brought to their lives. However, many of the people who were quoted used words that clearly demonstrated that a deeper level of healing was still needed in their lives.

Rendon recognizes denial as a problematic coping technique. He writes, "Some people try to block memories of the trauma entirely. Unfortunately, that doesn't work. The memories remain and can be triggered with little warning by seemingly unrelated sights, sounds, or semlls. Other people protect themselves from the trauma by separating all emotion from the events. But this often leads to behavior problems... And some people simply try to duck the issue entirely, using what is called avoidance-- making great efforts to avoid any events or siutations that might bring traumatic memories flooding back." Yet even though he recognizes the problems around denial and avoidance, Rendon's book still utilizes examples of people in denial as those who have experienced post-traumatic growth.

One common method of avoiding one's one true situation and one's horrible pain is by comparing one's pain to others'. In Upside, one man in a wheelchair states, "'I feel normal because I can help these people. I have the use of my hands. Some people can't feed themselves.'" This is a very clear example of using someone else's pain to ignore the reality of pain of one's own situation. The author's own father denies the true depths of his own pain from World War II by stating that "he hadn't gone through anything like what today's soldiers experience in combat." A researcher cited in the book even advocates this method which I see as a cousin to avoidance as uplifting and healing. She says that by "comparing their terrible plight to the even worse situation of so many, they could begin to see how they were in fact better off than some. And that might give them a tiny strand of something positive to hold on to." However, as I've written before, many people are the "worse off" ones, and being placed at the bottom of the healing heap by others with struggles does not help those in the worst case scenarios. Instead, this method of healing can lead to a great deal of pain for both those using it and those who are compared against.

Rendon also presents patients who are obviously still living with horrific side effects of trauma in their lives. One former soldier in Iraq still suffers from severe sleep deprivation and difficulties in relationships. Rendon writes that "The horrors that he witnessed have not faded with time," a true sign that healing has not happened on a deep level because the pain should fade during healing even if the memories remain. Yet Rendon holds this person up as one who has experienced post-traumatic growth because even though he has not healed, he is still able to help others. Examples like this lead me to question how much healing is necessary to achieve post-traumatic growth and how much healing is needed to be fully healed because the two are clearly not the same.

In some cases, I feel what Rendon has lauded as post-traumatic growth is actually denial and not post-traumatic growth at all. He shares the story of Bob Carey and his wife Linda Lancaster-Carey's Tutu Project which has brought laughter and healing to many who are dealing with cancer. Yet at the same time, Carey states, "'One of the reasons I do what I do is that [the possiibility of Lancaster-Carey's death] scares the hell out of me.'" Rather than confronting his own pain and fear, Carey is avoiding it through humor and art. To me, it's questionable whether this situation should be called post-traumatic growth even though it is using a trauma to create good in the world. According to Rendon, Carey continues to talk "critically about himself, his motives, and his work, as if the entire enterprise might fall apart if he were to relax and enjoy the good press and the success the couple has earned with the Tutu Project." To me, this is a sign of someone who is not willing to actually process grief and fear rather than a sign of growth.

While Rendon's work does not examine these options, I have experienced great healing from alternative therapies which address PTSD from different perspectives. Unlike the mainstream therapeutic desensitization technique which re-traumatizes patients with PTSD by forcing them to relive and discuss the worst of their experiences, it is possible to slowly and carefully unpack the traumas that contribute to PTSD in such a way that the patient will minimize new trauma. It is not a 100% pain free method, unfortunately, but it is a far less painful one than what the mainstream offers. I am going to periodically be offering a low-cost trauma and PTSD workshop for therapists and patients discussing how one can truly process and relieve trauma which is stored in the body. It's a workshop I wish that I could give to many people who are suffering from deep pain and not finding relief with current mainstream therapeutic options.

Unlike one bereaved parent in Upside who declares that "Five years is nothing for a grieving parent. The pain lasts a lifetime," I believe that it is possible to lessen or eliminate the pain of trauma without desecrating the memories of those whom we have lost in death. There are ways to find this peace without retraumatizing those who have already suffered greatly. The memories will always be there, but being free of fear and grief is truly a possibility. I know because I have experienced it as a bereaved parent. Not only have I reached a point where I no longer feel that brutal pain relating to my daughter's death, but I am also able to see all the positive things her death brought about. While I would never say I am grateful for my loss, I am able to say that I am incredibly grateful for the changes it has brought about.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

Full disclosure: I am friends with the owners of Medsavers Pharmacy. However, they did not ask me to write this blog post. The opinions expressed are entirely mine.

One of the problems of chronic illness is the cost of prescription drugs that are needed. Drug costs keep rising, and insurance companies are becoming more stubborn about not paying for drugs that patients need. A study by AARP reports, "In 2013, retail prices for 227 widely used brand name prescription drugs increased by 12.9 percent." The study also notes, "Brand name drug prices increased more than eight times faster than general inflation in 2013 (12.9 percent versus 1.5 percent)." Other drugs increased as much as 113% over eight years. Yet in 2013,the cost of living increase for Social Security payments was only 1.5%; in some recent years it was 0%. 

I have most of my drugs compounded. This means that the pharmacy takes the drug powder which they obtain from the manufacturer and put it in gelatin capsules in the correct doses for me. If filler is needed, they use probiotics. It means there are no food colorings, no dyes, no artificial flavorings, and no gluten in the pills. For me, it's the difference between tolerating most drugs and not tolerating them. It also allows us to create non-standard doses that aren't usually available. For example, I take between 7mg and 9 mg of one drug four times a day. It's only available in 10 mg, 25 mg, 50 mg, and 75 mg dosing in the standard pills. For me, the 10 mg would be too much. Because I need my drugs compounded, I am limited to using compounding pharamcies. The one I normally use is also a regular pharmacy, and I usually get any prescriptions the rest of my family needs there as well. It's a small local business with only two stores, and I appreciate that the staff there recognizes me.

One of my sons has been facing health problems for the past six months. We finally got a true diagnosis, and he's begun treatement, involving flower essences, herbs and Western drugs. One of the drugs was no issue; my son's prescription insurance through his father covered it with no problem. The second drug the insurance company refuses to cover at a rate that the pharamcies can afford because it's less than the pharmacy's costs. They end up having to sell it at a loss, so many of them refuse to dispense it. I asked the pharmacy what it would cost if we paid out of pocket, and I was told $450 for the 30 days supply we needed. Eeks. 

At that point, I called Medsavers Pharmacy. Medsavers does not accept insurance, and they only stock generic drugs. These two things allow them to sell drugs at a lower cost than most pharmacies. If a patient needs a prescription drug, then Medsavers will order it but the patient must obtain a prescription for the entire bottle. When we had older dogs with health problems (including congestive heart failure and Cushing's disease), we actually got a large percentage of their drugs at Medsavers because it was so much cheaper than buying them through a vet. 

The woman who answered the phone at Medsavers was pleasant and let me know that they didn't carry that particular dose of this drug, so we would need to get a prescription for the entire bottle from our doctor. The total cost for the entire bottle which would last my son a month? $62.42. That's versus the $450 I got quoted at my compounding pharmacy. So I got the doctor to write the prescription as needed asking him to respect the almost $400 difference between the two pharmacies. Because the doctor is very sensitive to patient's financial issues, he had no problem doing so. I've known many friends with prescription insurance who've used Medsavers for some of their prescriptions because it was cheaper to pay out of pocket at Medsavers than to pay a copay at another pharmacy. That's essentially what we did here. 

Medsavers Pharmacy advertises themselves as specializing in helping uninsured customers. They are centrally located in Austin, and they will ship wherever it is legal to do so. I think Medsavers is a fabulous example of a business which works to help those in need yet at the same time is a financially profitable business for the owners. It is possible to help others without engaging in extortion, though our health industry would like us to believe otherwise.


© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC

My own personal healing has involved a lot of very deep shadow work in recent weeks. Shadow work is facing the pieces of ourselves that we’d really prefer not to admit were parts of us. However, when one frees oneself from the pain of those shadows, one’s life becomes much happier.

I’ve previously blogged about my past life in World War II when I was a British spy working in Germany. Some of the worst trauma from that life surfaced again, this time from a different emotional perspective. Previously we had processed how the trauma had affected my liver (anger) and my heart chakra (love). This time, the healing work was centered on my kidneys (fear), my gallbladder (resentment), and my throat chakra (being heard).

When we were working on clearing out the issues around World War II Germany particularly relating to my fifth chakra, a different past life came up as well. This is not unusual for me: I often have processed multiple lives around a similar type of trauma at the same time. For instance, one week we processed four breathing related deaths including being trampled by an elephant, dying from lung congestion due to a mining cave-in, dying from polio, and being pitchforked in my diaphragm.

This time, the past life was one in Egypt that I had not seen previously. I have learned about at least three other lives in Egypt prior to this, and none of them were the least bit happy. Exploring past lives has made it clear to me why I have absolutely no desire to travel to Egypt since I endured so much misery there. In this particular past life, I was working in the court of Neferneferuaten Nefertiti (ca. 1370 – ca. 1330 BC). I had gotten the position by misrepresenting my abilities. When the truth came out, I somehow ended up dead with a bashed in skull. Not a happy ending to my life!

Both this particular Egyptian life and the life as a spy in Germany involved me deceiving others and dying as a result of that deception. In the Egyptian life, the lying was just plain stupid but was part of my soul’s learning process. In the British life in Germany, the lying was part of a war strategy, but it also ended up getting me killed in service. As I was looking at this common thread between the two lives, my guides told me, “Pretending to be someone you are not can be a deadly decision.” That struck me as pretty powerful advice. Most of us usually don’t have to face death for our lies and deception, but this wisdom helps drive home how vital it is for us all to be honest and to be ourselves.

© 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC