Green Heart Guidance
  • Home
  • About Elizabeth
  • Specialties
    • Healing Trauma, Abuse and Loss
    • Health Challenges and Chronic Illness
    • Pregnancy and Infant Loss
    • Healing Messages
    • Pet Services
    • Remote Home Viewings
    • Green Living
    • Organic Eating and Food Sensitivities
  • Guidance
    • Consultation Fees
    • Classes
    • CEU Seminars
    • Client Forms >
      • Liability Form
      • Policies and Procedures Agreement
      • New Client Information
      • New Pet Client Information
      • Bereavement Questionnaire
    • Payment Options
  • Blog
  • Contact Me

Keeping Safe: Online Dating

1/12/2015

0 Comments

 
Picturephoto taken at McKinney Falls State Park
The news media likes to pop up stories of craziness that come off of dating websites such as the story of this woman who got stuck in a chimney trying to break into the home of someone she met on a dating site.  Then there was the infamous Romeo Rose (legally known as Larramie Busby) of Austin who created a national 15 minute stir with his racist and sexist views.  He very much seems to have mental health issues, though he has vehemently denied that in his interviews.  He periodically shows up on one of the dating sites with a new profile, having invented a completely new fantasy about whom he is and why he is there.  He’s always wearing the same unique clothes in his pictures, though he does update the photos with new ones in most of his profiles.

In my experience, this craziness is not that far-fetched from reality.  So how can one keep oneself safe within the craziness that really does exist in internet dating?  There’s the practical and abundant advice that one can find on many other sites about making sure you drive yourself, meeting in a public place, not giving out your real name or phone number until you know the person, and making sure a friend knows where you are and checks on you during a date.  In my opinion, though, one of the first and most important things you should do is listen to your gut.  If something feels “off,” then it probably is. 

Regardless of whether something feels off or not, it’s a practical thing to check out someone on the internet before you go on a date with them.  It may not be romantic, but it’s a matter of safety in some cases.  The first thing you can do with any profile is to do a Google image search or TinEye search on the person’s photos.  I find that GIS is usually more successful than TinEye, though TinEye does occasionally show some things that GIS does not.  By installing the free plugins for these sites, all it takes is a right mouse click (with a PC-- I have no idea about Macs) to find any other recent copies of that photo on the web.  This often leads to business pages, Facebook profiles, Meetup profiles, and more.  Once you have a person’s name or preferred user ID, you can find out much more about them through a Google search on those specific details.

So is there really a point to doing that?  My experience says yes.  At one point when I was on a dating site, a local guy indicated that he was interested in me.  I checked out his profile since we were a similar age and had a few common interests, but something felt wrong about his profile, like part of his past was missing.  So I did a GIS on his profile photo.  It led me straight to this guy’s Facebook page.  As I read through all of his public posts there (including information about a previous relationship of his), my gut kept screaming that something was wrong.  He was a part-owner a business that was one that I don’t personally support, and so I was wondering if I was just being judgmental based on that. 

Armed with his name, I then did a Google search on that.  The first thing that popped up?  His sex offender record.  The person in the pictures was definitely the same—no chance of mistaken identity.  Suddenly all those gut feelings made sense.  I realize that there are occasions when an innocent person gets convicted for a he said-she said date rape scenario, but I believe that’s the exception to the rule.  I decided it was time to hide this guy’s profile on the dating website.

While the greater Austin area has almost two million residents, it still has an amazingly small town feel at times.  I swear that everyone in Austin has only two degrees of separation between them.  As a result, this sex offender went to the same high school as one of my closer friends which I discovered when I was decompressing with her about it.  Not only was she able to give me the details on his sex offender charges, she was able to list other alleged offenses of his that only made the picture worse.  He was definitely not the victim of a one time he said-she said situation.

Through this process, I learned that Facebook technically does not allow registered sex offenders to use its site, but someone has to report them first before they are kicked off.  This policy also presumes sex offenders are using their real name.  Some of the dating sites online screen for sex offenders; others do not.  Armed with the confirmation from my friend, I reported this offender to that particular dating site that he was on, and to their credit, they immediately removed his profile.  Of course, a few days later he had used a different email address but the same picture to set up a new profile. 

Your intuition can be one of your best defenses in protecting yourself.  The dating world is a scary enough place, but using the internet to help you can be a wise idea.  If your gut tells you something is wrong, then no matter how desperate you are feeling to go on a date, listen to that gut feeling and keep yourself safe.

© 2015 Green Heart Guidance

0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Join our newsletter list

    Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D.

    Holistic Life Coach and
    Intuitive Energy Healer

    Categories

    All
    Abuse
    Announcements
    Body
    Body Mind Spirit
    Chronic Illness
    Crystals
    Death
    Disabilities
    Family
    Gender
    General Guidance
    Green Living
    Helping Others
    Holidays
    Infant Loss
    Inspirational Mantras
    Lyme
    Marriage And Divorce
    Meditation
    Metaphysical Gifts
    Mind
    Multiple Chemical Sensitivities
    Narcissism
    Natural Healing
    Nutrition
    Parenting
    Past Lives
    Personal Growth
    Pets
    Popular Culture
    Pregnancy And Childbirth
    Product Recommendations
    Reviews
    Sexuality
    Spirit
    Spirituality And Religion
    Stress Release
    Subsequent Pregnancy After A Loss
    The Other Side
    The Single Life
    Trauma
    World Events

    Archives

    January 2023
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    May 2021
    April 2021
    January 2021
    November 2019
    November 2018
    October 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    January 2018
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

    RSS Feed

Services

Green Living
Healing Messages and Intuitive Energy Work
Health Challenges and Chronic Illness
Organic Eating and Food Sensitivities
Pet Psychic Services
Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Remote Home Viewing

About Green Heart Guidance

About Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D.
Contact Elizabeth
Consultation Fees
Client Forms

Social Media

​Facebook
Flickr
Goodreads
Instagram

LinkedIn
Pinterest
Spotify
Twitter
Youtube
Subscribe to GHG's Newsletter