Fast-forward to our college years when we were on different coasts of the country. Shannon called to let me know that she was bisexual. My first thought was, “Um. Yes. I already knew that.” Nothing changed between us. She was still my friend, regardless of her sexual preference.
Moving forward 15 years, Shannon explored hir gender identity further. Ze discovered at that point that ze was genderqueer: Someone who does not identify as either male or female. Ze requested that hir friends begin using the gender neutral pronouns “ze” and “hir” when referring to hir. The concept of genderqueer was new to me, so I learned about it. This was my friend, and I wanted to understand as much about hir as I could. And guess what? Ze’s still my friend.
Shannon eventually met Katie ten years ago, and they fell in love. Last year they held a commitment ceremony. I wasn’t able to attend due to my health, but Shannon and Katie Skyped the ceremony so that both me and another very pregnant guest and her wife were able to attend in more than just spirit. It was wonderful to be there in that way. This year, Shannon and Katie legally sealed the deal. I am so happy Shannon has brought Katie into my life, and I consider them both to be my friends now. Katie identifies as pansexual since she is married to someone who identifies as neither male nor female. Sexuality is more than just binary.
I am a monogamous heterosexual woman. However, I am unable to count the number of friends I have who are gay, lesbian, trans, queer, bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, and more. Because I don’t fit in any societally approved box, I have many friends who don’t fit in boxes either whether regarding their sexuality or other parts of their lives. Actually, I’d say that’s most of my friends. To me, people are people. I don’t choose my friends based on whom they sleep with. I am drawn to friends who accept me for whom I am, and I do the same for them.
Please know that if you are considering working with me, I am by all means LGBTQQIA friendly. As a healer, I welcome those who may find themselves less than accepted in other parts of society. This includes but is not limited to those with disabilities; those recovering from substance abuse issues; those in non-traditional family units; those in minority racial, ethnic or religious groups; agnositics or atheists; and those in the LBGTQQIA community. If some of these issues come up as part of your healing process, I will not have the understanding of someone who has walked in your shoes, but I will have the compassion of someone who embraces difference as part of what makes this world so beautiful.
© 2013 Green Heart Guidance