Dear Ms. Trainor,
I regret to inform you that your mama has lied to you. She's right that most men do prefer more curves than an anorexic skin-and-bones supermodel can offer. However, very few of them are Sir Mix-A-Lot. They’re just not into the bass. Unfortunately, the days of Rubens are long gone.
On one popular dating site, 90+% of men want a skinny woman. By their own admission, the vast majority of those men won’t date an obese woman; a large percentage won't consider dating a slightly overweight woman even if she were their perfect woman in every other way. It doesn’t matter if she is smart or funny or compassionate. She’s got to be a treble.
Many people say that this is just a “preference” for slim partners that they can’t help. It’s wasn’t so long ago that many people “preferred” not to associate with those in a minority group, and our society thought that was ok. Let’s just call a spade a spade, shall we? This "preference" is actually prejudice in most cases. Yes, many of us find ourselves drawn to people who have certain characteristics, but to refuse to look outside of that type is no more than narrow-minded bigotry against those who are obese.
You may not be a size 2, but you are certainly not much more than a size 12. As a matter of the fact, there are no truly plus-sized women in your video. There is one obese male dancer wearing an ill-fitting shirt whose purpose is mystifying and objectifying, but then again, given how illogical most music videos are, I shouldn’t overanalyze these issues.
I appreciate that you are spreading the message that “every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.” It’s definitely true that many women recognize “the magazine workin' that Photoshop/ We know that sh*t ain't real,” but other young and impressionable minds don’t yet know that those images of false perfection that they are confronted with all day, every day are fiction.
Perhaps instead of consoling women and telling them that their bass is ok you could focus on educating both men and women that all humans are far more than their physical appearance. Their bodies aren’t what will hold a relationship together. Instead, a person’s spirit, intellect, and personality are far more important. I’d recommend you stop looking for a man who is concerned with your derrière and instead start looking for a man who respects your entire being. You’re young, beautiful, and healthy. If a man can’t look past a few pounds, he’s not worth your time and effort.
Been There, Done That (and got the double bass t-shirt to prove it)
© 2014 Green Heart Guidance