On Tuesday, I was experiencing the worst fibromyalgia flare I've had in a very long time; it's been so long that I can't even remember when the last time I even had a fibro flare was. I initially couldn't figure out why exactly this flare was happening, though I was told by higher powers that it was related to Lyme. Usually fibromyalgia flares for me are due to stress, chemical exposure, gluten, or viral triggers, but none of those applied in this case. Eventually I pinpointed it to a series of events tied to Lyme dying off, raising my blood sugar, and thereby creating a better environment for feeding the candida in my body which was in turn causing the fibro flare. When I have pain like that, there's not a lot I can do that help: Even laying down perfectly still doesn't help much, and drugs barely touch the pain.
Tuesday also happened to be the first day of summer vacation when my kids were at my house. Of course, that means none of them were actually here for one part of the day as my chauffeur duties increase during the summer. The youngest is at a neighborhood camp as a CIT this week. My daughter wanted to go swimming at a friend's house; the friend only lives three miles away but it requires a parental ride to get there and back. My older son wanted to go golfing with friends at a local driving range, so I needed to drop him off there as well. I was doing all of this with major pain wracking my body. On the way home from dropping the older two off, I returned via a stoplight that is long and painful to get through. It often takes two cycles to make it through the light, and since the light is timed in favor of the other direction, that takes a while. Because it is such a slow yet busy signal, it's also a favorite place for the homeless to stand requesting money. When I arrived at the stoplight, I was in a great deal of pain after 35 minutes of driving, and I just wanted to get home. I knew I was right on the edge of the number of cars that would get through in the first cycle of the light, so I was really hoping everyone in front of me was paying attention so I could get through on the first cycle and get home. Four cars in front of me was an Austin Police Department car. As traffic started moving forward, the police vehicle's lights came on. I assumed that the person in front of the police car had lights out or something similar and were about to be pulled over. However, as we got closer to the traffic light, the police car came to a stop and the driver's door opened. I was utterly frustrated because I knew that this meant I wouldn't get through the light in the first cycle. The police officer had stopped immediately next to an older homeless man holding a cardboard sign, and I began to worry that he was getting out to ticket the homeless man for panhandling as there are local laws against pandhandling in roadways. While I agree that panhandling is a major issue in Austin, it was obvious this man was homeless and in need of assistance, and in those cases, my heart goes out to those who are so limited in their resources that they have no choice but to beg in order to survive. I really didn't want to see this homeless guy get harrassed. What happened then completely surprised me. Instead of berating the homeless man, the police officer handed him a brown paper grocery bag. The officer lifted out the contents to show the homeless man what was in it: clothing. It was only then that I noticed that the homeless man was wearing what appeared to be a woman's housedress or a long hospital gown. The homeless man was truly appreciative, accepted the bag, and then stuck out his hand to shake the officer's hand in gratitude. The officer shook his hand, got back in his car, turned off the lights, and drove forward to the now red light. At that point, I started to cry, so moved by what I had just witnessed. It was nothing like what I had expected. Even though I was still in pain and still wanted desperately to get home, I was grateful that the Universe had made me slow down to witness this act of compassion when I least expected to see it. As I sat in my car at the light, I watched the homeless man very slowly walk to the highway underpass area, sit down, and then very painstakingly start to slip on the pants that were previously in the bag. Clearly he had mobility impairments, and this was a challenge for him, but the fact that he was putting on the clothes then and there told me how happy he was to have them. It's a sad statement that seeing an act of compassion like this one is so rare in our society that it would move me to tears. So many people are struggling to survive on even the most basic of levels such as finding shelter, restrooms, clothing, food, and water. We all have our challenges and struggles in this world, though some problems are more acute than others. It will be an amazing day when our society is able to figure out how to move past greed to a point that ensures that all of us have our basic needs met without having to beg for it to happen. I'm glad that I was able to witness this small step in that direction. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
I am not a big believer in miracles. Most of the time when people proclaim something to be a miracle, I can see logical reasons for what happened even without any supernatural intervention. I think true miracles are rare. They are the things that defy all understanding without a supernatural influence. When someone is in an accident that leaves the car crumpled like a tin can yet they walk away with nary a scratch, it defies any logical understanding. Those type of miracles do happen on occasion, and when they do, I believe higher powers are involved.
In December 2000, my then-husband and I traveled to Missouri with our new babies. While we were there on Christmas Eve, we visited the park where we had scattered our eldest daughter's ashes in the summer of 1999. My former mother-in-law gave us a clipping from an evergreen tree in their yard to leave at the memorial site. It was from an ordinary evergreen tree (probably a variety of spruce or fir) and ordinary clipping, slightly larger than my hand. When we went to the park, we left that clipping on rocks near the opening of an underground spring. It was a cold but clear winter day at 15 degrees Fahrenheit, and there was about 12 inches of snow on the ground.
Four months later, we made another visit to Missouri. On April 23rd, we went out to the park to visit the memorial site again. When we arrived, we spent some time around the spring, and then I noticed something amazing. In the creek near the grotto entrance was the exact sprig of evergreen we had left there four months previously. And most amazingly, it was completely green. It was no different than the day we had left it there; it was just located a few feet away from where we left it. All the trees in that local area are deciduous, so it was not a similar looking branch from any of them. It was the same clipping.
Can this be explained logically? Maybe. The weather was cold in December, and the constantly cool fresh stream water probably helped the cutting stay fresh. However, the temperature in Missouri in April is usually in the 40s overnight and 60s during the day, higher than the sub-freezing temperatures we had experienced in December. Furthermore, there had been many rains during those four months, and the rain and the regular current of the stream should have moved the evergreen cutting downstream long before our return. Anyone who has had a real cut Christmas tree can also affirm that even with water, it does have a limited lifespan before needles begin falling and the whole tree turns brown. One wouldn't usually expect an evergreen clipping to stay green for four months even in ideal condition. For me, though, this is one of those situations where I think the probability of all the perfect conditions lining up are very unlikely without the influence of higher powers. I believe that the green evergreen branch was kept in that condition at that site as a measure of comfort for me, a way of affirming for me that life does not end with death. Even if it was just a series of amazing odds, the power of the experience was incredible for me. As a footnote, while I was finishing this blog post, Spotify began playing unprompted in the background on my computer. The synchronistic song selection? "Watching Over Me" from the Canadian Tenors. Its lyrics proclaim: The pure, the bright, the beautiful that stirred our hearts in you The whisper of a wordless prayer, the streams of love and truth A longing after something lost, the spirits yearning cry Striving after better hopes: These things can never die! There will always be a shining sun There will always be the rising of the sea There will always be an angel watching over me ~Rememebering Rebecca, died and born, June 10, 1999~ ©2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present ― Lao Tzu This quote made me cringe as I read it on the internet a few weeks ago. There is some truth in these words, but there is also a lot of myth and misunderstanding. Depression can be situational, and it can be related to the past, the present or the future. If you didn’t get to go to the dance you wanted to attend last week and you’re still feeling sorry for yourself, then you are living in the past. If you are depressed because you are sick and stuck at home today, you are living in the present. If you are depressed because you didn’t get into the college of your choice, then your are grieving your future. All of these are valid reasons for one to grieve briefly. Staying in that place of grief and depression for an extended amount of time can become problematic, though. Likewise, anxiety can be related to the present and the future. Anxiety can arise from standing in front of an empty fridge and pantry not knowing how to feed your hungry children. Stress, another component of anxiety, can arise as you stare at an exam question with no clue what the answer is even though you studied, attended class and did the readings. While a great deal of our anxiety is from borrowed trouble when we worry about what will happen in the future, there are times when anxiety can be very much a part of our present. More importantly, anxiety and depression can both be responses to treatable physical conditions. While they make the past, present, and future seem stressful or dismal, the mental difficulties are tied to issues that require outside intervention. In these cases, changing your thoughts can’t bring you to peace. The range of things that can cause these emotional states is wide, but in my personal and professional experience, I have seen parasites, Lyme (especially when it is dying off), entities, mineral imbalances, hormonal imbalances, gut dysbiosis and brain chemistry issues all cause depression and anxiety; I'm certain there are other roots in addition to those I've listed. These are issues that will require some kind of outside assistance to change the physical problems that are creating the anxiety and depression. While it’s true that most people who are living in the present will have less stress and depression, it’s also not always true. Anyone who has worked with people with Alzheimer’s disease can tell you that some patients are very distressed by the present. It is only when they are living in the past that they can find peace. Likewise, when we are undergoing a great deal of stress in the present day, we may turn to the past or the future to find a place of peace to calm ourselves. We might know that this job interview is rough, but when we get to the other side, we will have the job of our dreams (or if not, at least the ordeal will be over!). We might be dealing with a colicky screaming baby at 2 a.m., but we return to the vision of the beautiful laughing baby from earlier in the day to remind ourselves why it is all worth it. Not all sayings from wise people are really that inspired. Some have elements of truth but have been generally disproven by experience and societal change. When something makes you cringe inside when you read it, take the time to examine where that response came from. Is the emotional reaction due to something that is challenging your boundaries and forcing you to grow? In that case, stay with the discomfort as you try to work through the idea that is hard to accept. On the other hand, is the saying missing the reality of your experience? If so, then discard its purported wisdom for what you know to be true. ©2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
For a long time as an adult, I did not celebrate my birthdays. This was because my deceased daughter’s birthday is only a few days away from mine, and it felt horribly unfair to me that I was getting to celebrate another birthday when she didn’t get to celebrate even one. It took many years of grieving before I finally reached a place where I was comfortable enough with my daughter’s death and to be able to celebrate my own birth again.
Once I had worked through my issues around my daughter’s birthday and was ready to celebrate again, I found out that there were other reasons that I hadn’t been celebrating my birthday, reasons that were almost as painful. What I rediscovered was that my now ex-husband doesn’t want to celebrate holidays, especially birthdays. He says that birthdays aren’t important to him, so he doesn’t do them. Even though they were very important to me, he wasn’t willing to budge on this one. I talked to many therapists about this issue and about how hurt I was by my husband’s refusal to celebrate my birthdays in the way I wanted to celebrate. I’m not a person who needs or wants glamorous gifts. I don’t even need a store-bought card. I just need those around me to acknowledge that I am special and that they appreciate having me in their lives in whatever way they can. However, my ex-husband was so against birthdays that he couldn’t even do that. Unfortunately, most of the therapists I saw during that part of my life gave me very poor advice: they placed the blame on me, not my ex-husband, and said that the problem was mine alone, not his. They told me that he had made his position clear, and that I only had one option, to accept that he would never be willing to celebrate my birthdays with me. This only compounded my insecurities and made me feel like there was something wrong with me for wanting my partner to celebrate my birthday in some way. Not surprisingly, I could not accept my ex-husband’s position of being unwilling to even say happy birthday to me most years. I felt as though I was being completely reasonable in wanting a partner who was willing to make that small amount of effort to show me he loved me. I also did have a choice, but it wasn’t one that my previous therapists presented to me: I could leave the marriage to find someone else who was willing to celebrate me as I want, need and deserve. There was absolutely nothing wrong with me wanting to get my needs met. I understand that the therapists were trying to teach me that we can’t change others: we can only control our own behavior. However, in trying to teach me that lesson, they missed the forest for the trees. There was a very fundamental problem in my marriage that went much deeper than the issue of birthdays. Participating in marriage therapy with a really amazing therapist and reading books like The 5 Love Languages helped me recognize that in a healthy relationship, partners do things that they don’t always enjoy, but they do it because it gives pleasure to their partners whom they love. I certainly acted this way in my half of the marriage, doing things I didn’t really enjoy on a regular basis because I knew they would make my then-husband happy. I even asked the marriage therapist at one point, “Why is it that I always do things to make him happy but he’s not willing to do the same in return?” For the first time in my life, the therapist gave a great response: “That’s a really good question!” The answer that he eventually helped me to discover was that when both partners aren’t able to meet each others’ basic needs from a romantic partner, it’s not a good relationship, no matter how much they love each other. In this situation and many others, my ex-husband and I were not well-matched, and divorce was the healthiest option for us based on our circumstances. Now that the marriage has ended, my ex-husband still is unable to say happy birthday or happy mother’s day to me. I can accept it now, though I still wish it was different. I recognize that he has emotional issues of unknown origin from his past that interfere with his ability to celebrate both himself and others. While it certainly is his choice, it’s not my choice for how I want to live my life. There is too much joy to be shared in this world, and I’m grateful that I am now in a place that I can embrace that joy with those who love me and celebrate me on my birthday and on other days, too. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
Over the past few years, my life has changed a great deal. I am no longer the same person I was when I got Lyme disease, nor am I the person who suffered miserably with it in the early years. I’ve always been a fighter (or a “warrior” to use the more spiritual term), and that is part of what has helped me to defeat this disease. The spiritual transformation I experienced along the way is not an unusual story, though mine is unique, just like everyone else’s. However, as I worked my way thoughLiving in the Light over the past few months, I saw the generalized path I had walked laid out very clearly by a powerful author. As I turned the pages through the first chapters of the book, I kept thinking, “Yes, been there, done that.”
Living in the Light is about a different way of looking at one’s life than philosophies most of us were raised in modern Christian-dominated America. Gone is the judgment and fear of burning in hell that serves as the motivation in many Christian traditions. Instead, Gawain presents a vision of “a new world” that she sees developing around us. For her, life is a series of lessons to be learned as a we use our intuition to tap into the higher powers around us. By using our intuition, we can become creative channels for the higher powers of the Universe while we work on growing and improving our souls. Along our road to growth, we have to learn to be truly open to whom we are. We need to become balanced beings who are able to give and to receive. To understand ourselves fully, Gawain argues that we need to face our “shadow sides,” a Jungian term for the parts of ourselves we are afraid of. It is only in accepting every part of our beings that we can find balance. This includes learning to embrace our emotions and face our problems. It also means recognizing that we are both souls and humans in bodily form, and we must live as both. Despite what many schools of thought might teach, our bodies are perfect, just as our souls are. Even though they have limitations, our bodies are amazing, and we need to respect them and listen to them in order to live healthy lives. Shakti Gawain also discusses the concept of the world as our mirror: whatever we are struggling with inside of ourselves will also manifest externally. By paying attention to these synchronicities around us, we will be able to accelerate our healing and growth. Even though things around us may seem to be negative, they aren’t actually. Instead, what manifests in our lives are gifts for us to learn from; problems are actually messages if we are willing to use our intuition to listen to them. Our careers, our financial situation and even our health will reflect what is going on within us. Then, through the same mirroring perspective, the beneficial changes we make within ourselves will then be reflected throughout the world, too. The most powerful chapters in the book for me were those on the male and female within which demonstrate that we all have both masculine and feminine energies within us. The masculine side is the action side of us, the part of us that wants to do things. The feminine side is the intuitive side, the part that helps us find the correct direction to move in. Most of us have embraced one side at the expense of the other, but we all need to have both the masculine and feminine within us to be balanced in our lives. Like Gawain, I embraced my masculine side for the first 35 years of my life; in the more recent years, I’ve had to learn to accept, embrace and love my feminine side as well. As I have done so, I’ve found greater peace than I’ve ever known previously. Working from this place of balanced masculine and feminine energies, Gawain demonstrates that romantic relationships in our culture have been built on theidea of romantic partners completing the other. Because we are not allowing ourselves to be both masculine and feminine, we end up in dysfunctional relationships because we want someone else to fulfill the part of ourselves we don’t accept or want to embrace. When we learn to be what we want rather than asking others to do it for us, we are able to enter into healthier relationships built on being complete individuals rather than partial ones. This new energy of balanced relationships will also spill over into our relationships with our children as parenting takes on a new perspective. By developing honest relationships and respecting our children, we will no longer expect our children to complete us either. Living in the Light is not without its minor flaws. At one point Gawain refers to the Native American and African cultures. While an error like this might have been possibly have passed muster in the original edition of the book, the 25th anniversary edition that I was reading should have been edited to correct the better cultural understanding of our times. There is no one Native American culture. There are common elements shared by many different Native American tribes, such as a unifying belief in the sanctity of the Earth, but to speak of one particular Native American culture is lacking in perspective. Likewise, Africa is a continent that is over two million square miles larger than North America; Africa’s current population is double that of North America. To generalize that there is one African culture is completely missing the reality of the multitude of diverse cultures on the African continent. The one place where I felt that Gawain hasn’t fully worked through her theories yet is in her discussion of “Taking Care of Ourselves” (chapter 14). Often as we as a society develop ideas, we swing between extremes. Think of the conservative 1950s, the liberal 1960s, and the more balanced 1970s. Here, Gawain has responded to the societal tendency to repress our emotions rather than facing them; she swings too far in the other direction by stating that by being honest about our needs and emotions, we will get we want most of the time. To me, this section feels too much like a distorted law of attraction. Unfortunately, honesty will not always get us what we want because those around us are individuals with free will, too. Some will chose to respond to our honesty by removing themselves from our lives rather than engaging honestly with us. Living and speaking honestly will change our lives, but we won’t necessarily get what we want. We will, however, get what is best for us by being honest. It is rare that I recommend a book to a half-dozen people after I finish it, but that happened to me in the days after I finally finished Living in the Light. As I have begun my spiritual singles meetup, I have shifted the original plans I had for the group in order to use this book, asking participants to read a few chapters each month as we work our way through the larger concepts of the book. The material is that powerful and that helpful. I’ve included a huge list of book group or discussion group questions below that can be adapted as needed for your group. For mine, I’ll be dividing the questions over 20 sessions over eight months or so. Living in the Light is a book I suspect that I will return to many times over my life, and I suspect it will always be a book that will give me helpful reminders and insight no matter where I am in my journey at that point. Even as I read it the first time, I found that synchronicity prevailed, and whatever I read was exactly what I needed to hear at that particular moment. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
Toothpaste and I have had a long and arduous history. Starting in high school, I became very intolerant of most types of toothpaste. At that time, my mother would buy whatever was cheapest with a coupon and on sale at the mainstream grocery store. I couldn't stand most of what she bought, so I resorted to brushing my teeth with baking soda for a while. Once I departed for college and was able to get to the store by myself, I bought the plain, original, no fancy frills, cheapest available Colgate. If the toothpaste had tartar control or whitening or any of the other whistles and bells, I couldn't stand it.
Fast-forward 10 years in my life, and I became aware of the issues with fluoride and the other toxic ingredients in many mainstream toothpastes. I was horrified. Thus, my search for a new toothpaste began. After not too long of a search, I found one and only one kind of spearmint Tom's of Maine toothpaste in the gel form that I could tolerate. Anything else was too intense and too disgusting for me to handle. My sensitivity to the toothpaste issue was bad enough that if my ex-husband used the "wrong" toothpaste and then tried to kiss me, I'd reject him until he went back and brushed with the right one. It was amazing to me how often he would forget and use the wrong one! However, in recent years Tom's of Maine has been bought out by a major corporation and no longer holds to the same high ideals as the small mom-and-pop company it used to be. The toothpaste I used when through at least two formula changes that I noticed; each time I begrudgingly adjusted to the new option though I wasn't thrilled about it. Thus, one day when I was standing in line at Whole Foods, a bin of toothpastes by the conveyor belt caught my eye. I had heard about using clay and salt to brush one's teeth, but I was too lazy to work on creating my own toothpaste out of it. Instead, through suggestive marketing I had chanced upon Earthpaste, a clay and salt based toothpaste. Reading over the ingredients, I was far happier with what I saw compared to the Tom's that I'd been using. Knowing I was very likely buying a product I'd have to push off on my less picky kids (at least when it comes to toothpastes) or my ex-husband, I bought one. What happened was shocking to me: I LOVED the new toothpaste. I greatly prefer the peppermint flavor to the cinnamon; the only other flavor my Whole Foods carries is wintergreen which I've avoided because wintergreen essential oil can be very difficult for the liver to detoxify. The tube design of Earthpaste is different than most other toothpastes: it is designed to stand on end which forces one to put the cap back on, something I was admittedly bad about previously. The hole which the toothpaste comes out of is much smaller than a standard hole. This is beneficial because it means less toothpaste comes out which means less toothpaste gets used, and the amount that comes out is really quite rational compared to the wide-mouth toothpastes. However, that same narrow hole can get clogged much easier which means on occasion I'll have a wild splurt of toothpaste all across the mirror or the sink. It's been at least a year now since I switched brands. My last dental checkup was great. Not only did my teeth look great but I'd had two minor cavities that we'd delayed filling spontaneously remineralize. I can't attribute that to the Earthpaste, though, as I'd had one remineralize previously when I was using the Tom's of Maine. I think my immune system, my diet, and my major efforts at healing my body are far more likely to be responsible as I have not done anything to achieve the spontaneous remineralization. When I began using Earthpaste, my teeth felt fresher and cleaner. Then, the funniest thing happened for a while after I switched brands: I was induced to start flossing daily. I have no idea what about the toothpaste prompted that strange urge, but unfortunately it didn't last. However, I have remained very happy with the Earthpaste. It's nice when a new product not only meets but exceeds my expectations! © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
Beginning on January 1st of this year, the city of Austin went “hands free.” What that means is that using a mobile device such as phone for calling or texting while driving or biking is now illegal unless one is using a hands free device such as a Bluetooth. When this law first passed, I thought it was a great plan. I still do on a certain level. My ex-husband was in a car accident a few years ago where the other (sober) driver was clearly distracted: she plowed into his car from behind when he had been at a complete stop at a light for over a minute. Fortunately, no one had any major injuries from the accident, but it did create a whole lot of expense and hassle for those involved including my ex having to go to court to testify against the woman who initially challenged the ticket that Austin police had given to her.
However, I don’t think the law has played out in the way that was intended. What I’ve noticed, especially in the past month or so, is that people are still texting while driving.They’re not openly texting, though. What they’re doing is holding the phone down low so that no one can tell that they are texting (in theory). Instead of having their eyes half on the road, they are completely ignoring everything around them except what is down below the steering wheel. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this in the past month, but it has to be close to a dozen. I also had an experience about a month ago involving a bicyclist. I drove through West Campus, an area near UT where many students live. There was a college-aged man riding a bicycle the wrong way on a one way street. He wasn’t wearing a helmet, and he was texting while riding one-handed. His eyes definitely weren’t on the road. Aside from nominating himself for a Darwin Award, this young man was clearly in violation of the new hands free law. I’m not sure how one goes about solving this problem. Clearly the fines and other results of the law are not threatening to many people. Even scarier is that the people violating the no-texting law are not being realistic about the potential for life destroying accidents. In 2011, 23% of accidents involved cell phones. Texting while driving makes one 23 times more likely to have an accident. Other statistics demonstrate that texting while driving is six times more likely than drunk driving to cause an accident. Eleven teens die every day due to texting while driving accidents; 21% of teens involved in fatal accidents were distracted by their cell phones. In actual numbers, “3,328 people were killed in crashes involving a distracted driver” and “an additional, 421,000 people were injured in motor vehicle crashes involving a distracted driver in 2012.” Yet somehow those scary statistics aren’t enough to convince people to stop texting and driving. Why is it that our society has become so obsessed with instant communication that we can’t even wait ten or fifteen or even sixty minutes until our next stop in order to reply? Why do we have to respond immediately even at the threat of loss of life and limb? From the view of someone who is very outside the mainstream, I am puzzled by how people let their cell phones rule their lives to an unhealthy extent. I’m not sure what it is going to take for society to change its behaviors, but I hope it happens soon. I am dismayed by how little positive impact the new laws have had in Austin, at least from an informal survey of what I see in driving around town. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
I was recently approached by a parent concerned about an adult child who is addicted to a dangerous illegal street drug. This parent, like almost all of us who are parents, wanted to help the child. However, I was unable to help parent by receiving a healing message for the adult child for several reasons.
The first is the most obvious: The adult child is an adult. I can not help anyone over 18 who is not incapacitated (such as with those who have advanced Alzheimer's or are in a coma) without their explicit permission. For me to contact higher powers on that person’s behalf without permission would be a serious spiritual violation. Many psychics and intuitives will do this, and it always floors me when they do. Some will actually commit spiritual assaults: in trying to show off their metaphysical abilities, the psychics will start doing a reading for someone in public without the person’s explicit consent. I know one psychic who did this at a dinner party she was at, revealing all kinds of difficult and traumatic information about another woman at the gathering. The targeted woman was understandably upset, but other women at the dinner praised the psychic for doing a good thing and forcing the traumatized woman to deal with her past whether she wanted to or not. Situations like this make me sick to my stomach because it is spiritual assault, and it creates an entirely new level of trauma on top of the original one. I would never want someone to do that to me, and I will not do it to others. The second reason involves commitment. If people don't want to stop using whatever substance they are addicted to, they will very likely relapse; that had already happened once very recently in this situation after the adult child left rehab after only three days. Families may be able to involuntarily commit loved ones to a rehab center in some states, but whether or not people ultimately succeed in stopping their drug use depends on their own spirits and their own recovery work. (I am completely aware that relapses may happen for some people; it’s part of their individual healing process. Relapses with a desire to quit are a far different situation than continuing ongoing substance abuse without a conscious desire to stop.) In this particular case, the adult child had not yet hit the point of being able to say, “I want to be clean.” The adult child was still wanting to return to a romantic partner who was also abusing drugs. What the parent was asking me to do was find a miracle cure that the parent could give the adult child that would make the adult child see the situation clearly and would help create change. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. The person involved has to take the first step and contact me, and even then, I do not offer or promise miracle cures. This willingness to heal is only the first part of why I can only work with patients committed to achieving sobriety. The other reason is that substance abuse drags our metaphysical energy down. Much of the energy work I do aims to raise one’s energy level up so that one can heal the traumas that have damaged us during this and other lives. If one is still drinking or using, then one is actively (though unintentionally) pulling one’s energy down. If I were to attempt to help someone who was still using, we very likely would not make progress. The positive energy changes I would be helping create would be counteracted by the ongoing substance use creating negative energy changes. It’s like a tug of war where no one is going to win. I’m not the only healer who has found this to be true: there is a therapist in town whom I refer people to who uses EMDR with her clients. She requires them to be 100% free of recreational drugs and alcohol during the time period that they work together (and not just during actual sessions). She has found through years of experience that if clients are using any kind of mind altering substance, the EMDR will not “stick” and both client and therapist are wasting their time. If someone has reached the point of wanting to heal, then I absolutely can help them. Once that person recovering from substance abuse reaches out to me, I have literally hundreds of flower essences in my collection to help the individual with the energetic issues that contribute to the problem of addiction; many are alcohol free, and others can be adapted to evade the alcohol in them. The essences alone will not help a person to quit using; the client will also need to be working with a licensed therapist and/or support program. However, the flower essences and other techniques that I employ can help the person to address the genetic, biological, emotional, and spiritual triggers that create the addiction situation in the first place. These triggers are often deeply buried emotions and traumas that none of us want to confront. However, by bringing the triggers to the surface using energy healing, the person has a better chance for a full recovery because they will be confronting the issues that caused them to start abusing in the first place. The work I do is one more way to support oneself during the difficult periods of recovery. It’s not a miracle cure-all. It still requires that those involved want to help themselves. In the case of the adult child above, I was able to help support the parent with the parent’s issues around the adult child’s addiction plus give suggestions of over the counter vitamins and supplements to talk to the adult child's doctors about using in order to help facilitate detoxification when the adult child does decide to stop using. However, until the adult child reaches out to me (and to many others) with the desire to heal, the best I can do is send positive thoughts and prayers that person may find the desire to heal sooner rather than later. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
I regularly peruse the giveaway section on Goodreads. I’ve won some great and some not so great books through this platform. As I was looking there recently, a headline jumped out at me for the book Worth Waiting For. It proclaimed, “Warning: Gay(MM) Romance” [sic]. My jaw hit the ground. Really? A book with gay romantic content needs a warning label? I went and checked out the publisher to see if the book was self-published, and given that all of the books but one that are on this publisher’s very minimal and outdated website are by the same author, I suspect the author is also the publisher or has close ties to the publisher.
When I went to the book’s Goodreads page to investigate further, I found that I was not the only one who had the same reaction. In the discussion section, another reader had asked, “Who puts the ‘warning: gay romance’ in the description? is that an author or publisher choice? goodreads?” Clearly I was not the only one was bothered by this “warning” for readers. The author had replied, “I put it there(The author) because believe it or not some people enter the giveaway and then are offended about the content after they win it. So this is my way of saying if you are not interested or offended by gay romance then don't enter. It's only in the Goodreads giveaway description and not the original book description.” However, despite the author's explanation, the word choice of "warning" still stuck me as painful. Why should I need to be warned about anyone's love? I can't imagine books about heterosexual lovers having a "warning" label, though in the days of censorship, books like Lady Chatterley's Lover certainly did cause social upheaval because their explicit sexual content. At that point I navigated away as I was pretty certain the book would be less skillfully crafted that what I prefer in my reading material. The author failed to correctly phrase the book promotional statement so the desired potential readers would not be offended; that was a sure sign the author’s expository prowess was going to be lacking. I completely understand the author’s point: I would bet money that there are people who just go through the offered books, register for them all, and then resell them on another online source, never reading or reviewing them. I also can believe that some people just go through the romance section and register for them all without reading the content information including "warnings." However, if I wanted to make sure potential readers of my novel with homosexual characters didn’t attract those who would be offended by it solely based on the sexual orientation of its characters, I would start the review, “In this erotic romance, potential lovers Craig and Jason….” I would very much omit the “warning” part of the introduction; one could even omit the word gay as Craig and Jason are almost always male names in our culture. It bothers me that someone who is open-minded enough to write a gay romance or erotica would not to realize that labeling it explicitly with the world “warning” might be offensive to potential readers, the ones the author actually wants to attract. While recent victories like the one in the nominally very Catholic Ireland show that our world is rapidly changing with its attitudes toward gay marriage, there is still a long way to go before equality is reached for all people, regardless of their sexual orientation not to mention their skin color, sex, gender, abilities, and more. Those who are trying to help break down the barriers need to make sure that they are not buying into established paradigms that frame homosexuals or any other minority group in a negative light. Word choices as simple as the one word of “warning” reflect a culture that still needs to grow in many ways before there will be true acceptance for all. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
I'm pleased to announce that I have started the Spiritual, Single and Social Meetup.
The Spiritual, Single and Social Meetup is an open-minded gathering in Austin, Texas, where we support each other without judgment in understanding our experiences in life. We view being single as a time in our lives when we can focus on growing and healing as individuals. For the purposes of this group we define these terms to mean the following: Spiritual: We all hold a belief in a higher power greater than ourselves. All traditions and belief systems are welcome as long as they are open to others having different beliefs. We work together to find common ground for our spiritual beliefs to help improve our individual lives and the world. Single: We are single (never married), separated, or divorced. We are not in committed relationships with anyone at this time. Those from all parts of the sexual, gender, and orientation spectrums are welcome. This group is aimed towards those who are in the 30-50 year age range. Social: While we might work hard on our personal growth, we’re not opposed to serious relaxation either! We meet for a variety of purposes and activities including but not limited to meals, book groups, discussion sessions, meditation sessions, hikes, and games nights. As a courtesy to those in the group who are sensitive to fragrances, please refrain from wearing synthetic perfumes, colognes, and aftershaves. Essential oil based scents are fine in moderation. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC
I don’t drink alcohol, but recently I had to make an expedition to the local booze store to buy more vodka as I had run out. This was the first time in my life I had ever bought alcohol despite being almost 41 years old. Previously, my ex-husband had purchased it for our household use, and I’d finally run out of the big bottle which he’d bought many years ago.
So what do I do with the vodka if I don’t drink it? For starters, I clean with it. Vodka has great antibacterial properties yet is a non-toxic liquid that doesn’t bother most with chemical sensitivities (at least if they don’t drink it). So I keep a spray bottle of vodka by the kitchen sink, and any time we scrub the kitchen counter especially after cutting up raw meat, we spray it down with vodka on the first pass. I also keep a spray bottle of vodka in the bathroom, and my ex-husband did the same. We use it as deodorant, again because of the great anti-bacterial properties it has. The bacteria in our armpits are part of what create the body odors that our society doesn’t enjoy. Using vodka as a deodorant helps kill the bacteria and reduce the odors. For me, I am able to just use a vodka spritz most of the time (along with soap and water in the shower, too). My ex-husband found that for him, he needed more. The safer, natural deodorants were not strong enough alone to handle his body odor. However, if he combined the deodorants with the vodka, he was able to get a workable natural solution. Theater companies often use vodka to spritz the costumes between performances. Rather than having to professionally dry clean costumes on a daily basis, a complicated, expensive and often impossible task, the vodka is used for its deodorzing properties to keep the costumes, worn by the actors under very hot lights, from reeking after a long series of performances. So too can vodka be used to spritz up ordinary clothes that aren't too scented. Simply spritz the area of concern and let hang to air dry. I find it very amusing that my children now think of vodka as an antibacterial. At one point, one of them asked me, “Do people actually drink that stuff? Why?” I suspect I’ve probably unintentionally created some kind of Pavlovian response in them that vodka will forever be a cleaning agent that they can’t imagine using for other purposes! We keep the bottle under the kitchen sink with cleaning supplies or in the laundry room next to the detergents, probably the last place most people would keep their alcohol collection. © 2015 Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D., Green Heart Guidance, LLC |
Elizabeth Galen, Ph.D.
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